Paddleton | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix

They never make a movie about the way guys really are.

You can see beefcake, men who love ’em and leave ’em, men who abuse women, but they don’t make a flick about the people I know.

They do in “Paddleton.”

The average guy can’t get laid, is probably afraid of girls, has a good heart and would never step out on you, for fear he’d never find anybody else. These are the good guys women are looking for, but don’t want. You’ve heard there are no good guys left? That’s wrong.

Not that Ray Romano and Mark Duplass are winners in this flick.

Romano is afraid of the cute coworker who asks about his weekend. You’d figure this is a perfect opportunity to connect, but it’s easier to brush her off and angst about it later. As for Duplass…he’s got a go-nowhere job in a print shop, he ain’t gonna take you out for dinner someplace other than McDonald’s.

Yes, these guys are losers. And I’m not saying most men are, but there are so many true characteristics here.

Like the wearing of shorts. I’M GUILTY! I doff them in the winter, unlike a lot of people I know, but I see it as a perk of living in L.A. I see it as a perk of being in the music business, the one that used to exist, not the one we’ve got now, where the musicians dressed in street clothes and didn’t own a suit. Now that’s the techies. But here, the shorts are representative of yearning to be a boy, to not grow up. Or as my childless friend Jake says…without children you’re a kid forever! You can be silly, you’re not married to your job, you’re footloose and fancy free, even if the rewards come with aging.

But Romano and Duplass are still addicted to kung fu movies. They can do all the moves. They’re like best friends from high school. But they met as adults.

It’s hard to find friends as an adult, true friends, people you can count on, not just the husband of your wife’s girlfriend. Everybody’s into the pecking order, they will not let their guard down, certainly not with people they consider beneath them. And every encounter is a business opportunity. Get together with a guy and they’ll sell. You’ve got to pierce like a surgeon to get the real story. Women chat up their girlfriends about their feelings, their emotions… Men talk about cars, possessions and sports. Sound bad? It is. That’s why guys need girls, to expand their horizons.

But Ray and Mark have each other. Ray lied about a few things when he first met Mark, wanted to make a good impression, and it’s only when Mark’s time is nearly done that he coughs up an integral fact.

You see Mark has terminal cancer. I could leave that out, but it’s right up front in this flick.

I’m a fan of the Duplass Brothers. They illustrate what the technological revolution yields. I.e., they used the new and inexpensive production methods to make mumblecore movies that only insiders saw. But “The Puffy Chair” got traction and then the brothers got deals and their flicks…

Are indies.

You remember indie movies, right? That you saw at the art house? You had to get a distributor and you didn’t make much money. Furthermore, today no one’s got any time for the movies. Our dance card is full with exactly what we want. Driving to the movies and waiting for them to start is like buying an internal combustion car, something you once did you no longer will. Furthermore, you’re paying per pic, so if you don’t like something, you either endure it or feel ripped-off. But on Netflix…

The Duplass Brothers made an overall deal with Netflix. They sacrifice upside for guaranteed budgets and distribution. Are you making art to get rich or to make a statement? Too often, it’s the former.

And I’m not gonna recommend “Paddleton.” Because the truth is most people don’t like these movies. They like escape, they like happy endings, but there’s a tribe that yearns to see themselves on screen, a story about real life.

And the question is, when your best friend dies, where does that leave you? The one you made up games with, the one you had inside jokes with. There’s a giant hole that’s nearly impossible to fill.

And they make buddy movies about the infirm and aged. But regular people, eking out a living… Ray and Mark are not stupid, but either their dreams have been canceled or they’ve got no ambition. What does life look like then?

We keep reading about the kings and queens, those who played the game and won. When the truth is there are very few of those and you can’t replicate the formula. But if you’re just living your life…

If this is your kind of thing, tune in this show. I’ll admit it’s a bit slow at times, but then it picks up, not so much because of the action, but because of the piling up of events.

Do you have sex when it’s delivered to you on a silver platter?

Do you take your own life to avoid the pain?

Do you pick yourself up and start over having experienced loss?

These are the questions in “Paddleton.”

It makes you think.

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