Is this where I anger the Android users? You know, the ones who excoriate Apple at the same time being unable to upgrade the software on their phones?

I don’t know about you, but I’m O.D’ed on feature creep. Or should we call it app creep. I’m sick and tired of twentysomethings inventing something new that the press trumps and the kids use and abandon.

Life is becoming too short for all these features. The truth is, we don’t have time to learn them.

And I don’t have time to Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, Tweet… Social networking is out of hand, what I’m eager for is silence, a respite from the constant incoming and the feelings of inadequacy.

Used to be I just had to feel bad when someone mentioned a record I did not know. Now there’s so much stuff I don’t know and I’m beginning to wonder, am I really missing out?

The only story sticking right now is the Malaysian plane disappearance. Because it’s continuous, because it’s ongoing. I hate to tell Lady Gaga, but we’ve already forgotten about her routine at SXSW. That whole festival. My friend Larry Butler has the right spin on it, just lie and say you went, it’ll make no difference!

HOW TO GET ALL THE CRED OF PLAYING AT SXSW WITHOUT THE TIME AND EXPENSE

And then today we’ve got David Carr testifying about creeping commercialism in music:

A New Model for Music: Big Bands, Big Brands

That’s what you get when the rich get richer and everybody in music feels inadequate.

I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. You’re never going to make as much money as Leon Black, and if you don’t know who that is, it proves the point. But unlike musicians, Black is not famous everywhere! Why can’t players have some self-dignity and realize compensation is not always about cash. Sure, money goes a long way, but reach is even more important. Nothing scares a politician more than an angry mob.

But no one gets angry anymore, they’re too busy studying reality television in their personal quest for fame to take time out to bitch.

Meanwhile, there’s a plethora of information drilled down upon us constantly. Like the success of Pono’s Kickstarter.

What a bunch of crap.

Stop talking about the $3.8 million they’ve raised, Neil Young can accumulate that in a couple of gigs.

Instead look at the anemic number of pledgers, 712 of whom ponied up a mere $5.

Bottom line, 11,515 people have pledged Pono money. If Neil Young sold that few albums in a week, he’d stop recording. He used to sell more than this number of tickets per gig, back before he had to scale down and charge more for “intimacy.”

But people are pledging because they want to belong.

And the nitwit musicians are ripping off their customers with autographed Pono players, overpriced merch worse even less useful than a Rolling Stones leather jacket. Come on Elton John, how could you get it so wrong? Tom Petty? You make it look like music’s a club, like you all went to high school with each other and can’t let brother Neil down.

At least Van Morrison didn’t sign up.

Frank Zappa wouldn’t.

Used to be music was about going your own way.

And now Neil Young solves a problem we don’t have. God, if you want to buy high quality files just go to HDtracks, or use an Astell&Kern. But I’m not gonna waste any more time on this useless production when there’s true news that the media is not covering.

APPLE FIXED THE FONT!

That’s right, when I’m answering e-mail on my iPhone, I can now see the keyboard!

And you might not think this is a big deal, but I spend more time on my device than listening to Neil Young’s music, and you might think that’s sad, but it’s the truth and if you don’t agree, you’re lying.

So say hello to a world where smart young kids want to be techies rather than musicians and only the poor and uneducated play music and sell out to the Fortune 500.

And say goodbye to the constant deluge of misinformation and spin put out by the mainstream press, which is either cozying up to stars or putting them down, not sure whether they want to burnish their image by hanging with celebrities or tear them down to make themselves feel important.

What we’ve sacrificed in media is truth.

But the age of tech just soldiers on.

But the real truth is you can no longer rest on your laurels. And you don’t want to buy antiquated product. You want something you can upgrade, until the hardware is two years old and so ancient it won’t employ new features.

So applaud Apple for changing on the fly.

And laugh at Neil Young for creating an overpriced item you can’t even put in your pocket.

And know that the world we live in will only improve when you take it upon yourself to become informed and lobby for what’s important.

Say no to Doritos, never mind SXSW in total.

Say no to commercialism in music, sure, you have to make a living, but most bands don’t deserve to.

And say yes to the techies who give us our entertainment now.

We used to wait for the new album.

Now we wait for the new phone.

We used to talk about the music.

Now we’re too busy texting.

Make my life easier.

Let me believe in myself, not antiquated players purveying Pono.

And know that life is about discrimination, separating the wheat from the chaff, what’s important from what’s not, and we used to depend on the media for this, but now it’s every man for himself.

So sure, you need money to live.

But as the song goes, it won’t keep you warm at night.

It will buy you sex, but not love.

And even though it goes into your pocket, it won’t bond people to you.

Yes, Neil Young, you got paid.

And if that’s all it’s about…

Count me out.