It’s inflammation.

What caused said inflammation?

Could be an infection, it’s not clear.

What happens now?

Well, I take a steroid dosepak to try and fix the condition. And in three months, I return for another scope.

But there is one caveat, they have to run the urine sample. Theoretically that could show cancer, but the odds are very low.

So I’m relieved, but right now numb.

Actually, the anticipatory anxiety began on Sunday night.

Oh, that’s right, I did not tell you I employed a connection to move the appointment up to today. One’s entire life is about building relationships that pay dividends. Ultimately, it’s all about who you know, and in this case I know someone who could pull the right strings and I’m forever grateful, if for no other reason than I don’t have to continue to remain in suspended animation, wondering what is going on for two more weeks. Then again, to say I’ve returned to normal emotionally is not quite accurate.

As for my dick… IT DOESN’T HURT!

Not significantly more than when I went in there…there’s still some residual pain from the first cystoscopy.

As the appointment approached my anxiety became more about the procedure than the result. Because really, last time it was ultimately so painful that I just could not imagine tolerating that level of discomfort once again.

And then I had to wait. Which I can tolerate. But at Clark Urology the last time they saw me EARLY, they’re usually close to on time.

And what do you do during that window? Funny what you can look up on your phone that has nothing to do with everyday life. Reminds me when I have to take opioids after an operation. You can’t concentrate and work, you just mindlessly surf. In this case at adultconfessions.com Don’t ask me how I found it… I just clicked through on some Google result and ended up there and I continued to read the stories, which are as far removed from the war in Iran as one can get.

But eventually my name was called.

By my buddy the nurse. We picked up where we left off. We talked watches and cars and I undressed and I lay down with my penis through an opening while he lacquered me up and…

Waited for the doctor to come in.

As for the doctor…

Never forget, everybody’s an expert. You do know why I have this condition, don’t you? THE COVID VACCINE! Yup, multiple people e-mailed me that. And then there were those who said not to trust western medicine, that I needed to take these supplements from some doctor in Hawaii and… Do people really believe this stuff? Is this how distrusted expertise has become? I remember when my back went nuclear three decades ago. Everybody told me two things…do not go to physical therapy and do not get a steroid shot, never ever!

So I didn’t go to physical therapy, just stayed with acupuncture for months, and never got a steroid shot… But physical therapy ultimately cured me. And when my back was bad before Covid, they shot me up and the pain went away! But I listened to the scuttlebutt, from the people warning me about all the potential ill effects. Don’t listen, trust the experts.

So I’m trusting the system, I’m not at the stage where you get a second opinion. I was going to use the expert I was referred to. But my inbox started to go wild with all these authorities telling me who to use, because obviously their doctor is the best. Well, the funny thing is…most of the people said to use the doctor I was seeing, so that was good confirmation.

And when the doctor finally arrived. I expressed my anxiety.

And he shrugged, close to a wince. So I told him about the pain I’d experienced last time, that I was more worried about the procedure than the results, which at this point I really was.

He said there would be no problem.

AND THERE WASN’T!

Reminds me of when I had my first bone marrow test when I got cancer. To say it was painful… This nurse is drilling into my hip bone, and not only was the procedure excruciating, the recovery took weeks.

And the next time they were preparing me for a bone marrow test…

I locked into the conversation. They seemed to be talking about the previous test, which had been months before, I mean how could they remember it? And then they started to soothe me in advance, told me it wouldn’t be like the last time, and they’d FIRED THAT NURSE AFTER MY PROCEDURE!

Whew!

And that second bone marrow test was light years less painful and with today’s cystoscopy I had the same experience. Actually, the injection of the lidocaine in advance in preparation was more painful.

And as I’m girding for the worst, the doctor tells me to look at the monitor. And I can see that I’m bleeding, not heavily, but I still am bleeding, which I thought would not be the case, since I hadn’t been urinating blood, VISIBLE blood.

But inky blood was streaming off the bladder wall… Well, low-level streaming. And the doctor is moving the camera, he points out the various bleeding areas and says it’s like the San Andreas Fault. After he says it doesn’t look like cancer, that cancer looks completely different.

And it wasn’t hit and run, he drove the camera around my bladder, zeroed in on the problem areas, and it wasn’t painful at all.

And he said the problem was inflammation.

So what caused the inflammation?

He did not know. Could be an infection, could be an injury, it’s unclear. But compared to having cancer, this is no big deal, this is GREAT!

And he wasn’t upset. You’ve got to be there when the doctor does the test and the results are not good. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced this. Their whole demeanor changes, this is no longer routine. But today it was no big deal!

Then again, as he was whipping off his rubber gloves, the doctor did say he couldn’t be absolutely definitive until he ran the urine test. It could show cancer. But when I quizzed him, like I said above, he told me the odds were extremely low.

So…

What have I learned?

That first night, after I stopped bleeding and saw no need to go to the emergency room? That was stupid. This problem needed to be addressed. After all, my bladder is still bleeding, however lightly, nearly three weeks later.

Two, you’ve got to plug into a major health system, with not only world class experts, but more than one of them. You don’t want to be at the mercy of the one person in town, who probably doesn’t do this every day.

Third… When you’ve got a health issue, everything else becomes secondary.

Fourth… I was positively stunned at the response I got to my issue, the caring and the warmth. I mean I expected a response, but not of this intensity and magnitude. To quote James Taylor:

“Once you tell somebody

The way that you feel

You can feel it beginning to ease

I think it’s true what they say

About the squeaky wheel

Always getting the grease”

“Shower the People”

So we will now be returning to our usual programming, where you disagree with me and put me down.

But I can handle it. It’s much better than what I was facing!