Instant hearing aids.

That’s the big breakthrough announced by Apple today.

But everybody wants to know about the new iPhones.

Bottom line, you don’t need one…unless you do.

Smartphones are now like cars. They keep introducing new models, the advertising is overwhelming, but you’re only in the market every few years (obviously longer for automobiles). So do you need a new phone?

What stunned me at the Niall Horan show last week at the O2 is I only saw one Android on the floor (and I don’t mean on the floor, but in the GA section). We’ve been told that Apple dominates in the U.S., but not overseas. But unless you’re in a struggling or third world market, Apple is not only the premium product, it’s an issue of envy, or should I say ostracization. If you don’t have an iPhone, you’re an outsider. And if you’re young, you need to be a member of the group. If you’re old, you don’t see why you need to spend extra for a device that you only talk and text on. And if you’re a techie, you might prefer Android the same way you prefer Windows, for the ability to customize. But it’s Apple’s world and we just live in it.

So if your iPhone is old, on its last legs, if it doesn’t pay to invest in a new battery, you’re going to upgrade. Should you wait another year? They keep saying how the iPhone 17 is going to be a breakthrough, but for the first time in a long time, you’re going to be missing out on features if you don’t have the latest iPhones. Or an iPhone 15 Max.

Yes, always buy the ultimate iPhone. It’s all about future-proofing. This is not where you should cut corners. ALWAYS lay down for the Pro model.

To make it very simple, if you have last year’s Pro, you can use this year’s AI features. Which you’ll want to use.

AI has been overhyped. But most of the talk now is about the bleeding edge. I’ve got to give Apple credit for addressing everyday usage. The coolest feature is the ability to create emojis on the fly, and I never use emojis, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

The digital era has ushered in the elimination of the manual. Sure, most people didn’t read them. But if you chose to, everything was delineated in it. Whereas when it comes to the iPhone… You’re on your own.

Oh, you can get a free one on one session with a new iPhone, but that just teaches you the basics. If you want to know how to use the new features, you’ve got to experiment yourself, or have friends.

That’s the way most people will learn how to utilize these new features, via friends. You’ll be at a party, or a lunch, and someone will do something you didn’t know possible and you’ll want to know how to do it yourself. And people love to teach others. Assuming they don’t insult them about their ignorance in the first place. But if you’re an expert on every feature of the iPhone, you probably work at Apple.

Do I expect heavy adoption of the new iPhones because of this Apple Intelligence/AI feature? No. But if you have one, or last year’s Pro model, you’re going to use this new feature, primarily to create writing…it’s amazing what it can do, on a mobile device.

As for other features… There’s a whole host of new camera stuff. Most especially a slider along the side that allows you to adjust so many things.

But, bottom line, very few people are going to sit at home and see these new features and pop for a new device unless their old one is on its last legs.

As for AirPods…

You’ve got to get the Pro model for the better audio and hearing aid capability. But everybody buys the Pro model anyway. Just like people overwhelming pop for the Pro iPhones.

Bottom line… An incredible proportion of the public needs hearing aids but don’t know, or won’t admit this and take action. Furthermore, the longer you wait, the harder it is to adjust.

And here the government is your friend. It made available over the counter hearing aids, usually sold for under a grand, sometimes way under. But they don’t have the sophistication of the AirPods Pro. Because the AirPods Pro have a hearing test built in, and therefore the hearing curve is instantly adjusted on your AirPods. Once again, this will not be the big news you’ll read about (hear about?), but this is a huge breakthrough. Hearing aids have been dominated by companies lacking in technological expertise overcharging for mediocre devices, this is a natural space for tech companies like Apple to dominate.

Like in watches.

You may own a Rolex, or even a Breitling, but the truth is those are jewelry items, an Apple Watch delivers functionality.

And sleep apnea detection. This is almost as big a deal as AirPods doing double duty as hearing aids. Most people who have sleep apnea don’t know it, and then there are people who have it but won’t treat it.

Detection has required a sleep study, in the old days only at a facility, however now there are programs you can use at home, but they might cost you, whereas this is built into the AirPods Pro.

This is a breakthrough year for the Watch, because the face is bigger and the entire Watch is thinner and lighter. More screen real estate, that’s what everybody is asking for.

And the hidden star of the Apple presentation, yet hiding in plain sight, was San Francisco itself, the Bay Area. California and most especially the City by the Bay, have been excoriated. I could list the tropes, but if you watch this video you’ll want to move there, at least go there.

Everybody is dressed down at the world’s most valuable company, wearing trainers (U.K. English for Nikes, etc.) Even Tim Apple is wearing a polo shirt.

And usually, the presentation is based at Apple’s HQ, but this time it’s at different locations in the area and the camera flies from one to another, in a 2-D version of the Dead’s opening at the Sphere, and the light and the…

Nate Silver had it right. The mentality of the east and west coasts is very different. The rules are gone on the west coast, there are few boundaries. If you’re someone who likes to trade on their résumé, who your parents are, where you went to school, stay east, but if you dropped out, if you want to invent it as you go, come to the west.

Argue all you want, but the images in this presentation are very enticing.

So, do you have to watch this hour and a half video?

No. Apple presentations are not cutting edge like they used to be.

Oh, I forgot to mention Spatial Audio!

Despite Apple’s continued push, it looks like Spatial Audio is another audio format that is going to die on the vine. Apple’s all-in, you hear about them paying more for Spatial Audio mixes on Apple Music, it’s only that…

Apple Music is not quite the Zune, but it’s close.

Spotify owns streaming music. It’s got the lion’s share of subscribers who do more listening than they do on other services and furthermore, it’s growing faster.

Apple came too late to streaming music. And unlike in the Jobs era, it didn’t take the old technology and take a great leap forward, it’s really no different from Spotify. And Spotify keeps introducing one new feature after another. As for audio quality… Spotify is going to go hi-res, but the truth is it’s a canard, part of the pushback over digital audio, a passé argument if there ever was one. Hi-res and regular streaming are nearly indistinguishable, and you’ve got to have the right equipment to hear the higher quality. Yes, AirPods Pro will deliver it, but on your computer you need a separate DAC and…for almost all people regular audio is enough, otherwise people would have switched to Tidal way back when, and they did not. As for the CD, you can now get better audio streaming, higher resolutions, the CD is a dead medium, unless you’re selling souvenirs or trying to enter or maintain your number one chart position.

As for AirPods Max… A failed product. Apple has had a few, remember that boombox equivalent, and the giant HomePod? Bottom line is AirPods Max are overpriced and ugly. Steve Jobs would have never let this product be shipped. If this rectangular shape were great, someone else would have pioneered and stuck with it, and this is not the case. Also, the AirPods Max are way overpriced. They’ve got to be under $500. I’d make them $399 max.

So, once again, you know if you need new products.

If you do, go for the best, it’s barely more expensive.

It used to be that the regular iPhone, not the Max, used last year’s chip. This year it’s got a new chip, but the Pro models have one even better.

So get the new iPhone Pro, if you’re in the market for one.

Watches are cheaper, maybe you want the latest design.

AirPods? You wait until you lose ’em or they die.

But the Apple Store will be ready when you are.

Unlike in the Jobs era, almost all the breakthroughs today are in software, however you do need a device to employ them. But really, instant hearing aids and a sleep apnea test…these are utterly AMAZING!

P.S. Oh, the Weeknd video… This and the double-tracking in the Notes app illustrate how easy it is now to create. And the end result is the flooding of the channel with “music.” Everyone has the tools of creation in their pocket. Kids grow up learning/knowing this stuff. The Weeknd video looks cool, it makes people want to be involved in music, but let’s be clear, the tune itself was secondary and it didn’t sound innovative. We’re ready for the audio extremes. Either totally digital, using AI, or non-digital, using acoustic instruments or electric ones with no added effects, just like punk was a reaction to prog and corporate rock.