Merck had to do something to save the company and his reputation.

“Hipgnosis Songs Fund Overstated Revenue, Earnings & Its Stakes in Music Catalogs, Says New Report – Shot Tower Capital says inadequate financial analysis and management from the investment adviser led to inaccurate information at multiple levels.”: https://shorturl.at/yFIV7

Damning at many levels. Turns out being a friend to the artist does not mean you’re a friend to Wall Street, does not mean you understand financials. Merck is seen as the latest in a long line of entertainment industry hucksters and despite making millions creating Hipgnosis and managing it from a separate company, Merck is indignant.

However, savvy observers believe this has little to do with Hipgnosis, that Merck is just trying to burnish his image with Blackstone, his partner, which will probably end up owning all the assets of Hipgnosis anyway.

Now Merck’s pitch to the artists selling to Hipgnosis was they would never find a better friend than him, someone who understood them, who had their best interests at heart. But now, with the assets being devalued and mismanaged, Merck is doing what every red-blooded American, er, Canadian, does, that is focus on himself, put self-interest first. And therefore, Merck is ramming through this AI policy irrelevant of what Hipgnosis artists say. He’s got the right, at least he believes he does. And good luck litigating, I mean how deep are your pockets? Look at all that bread Trump is spending on legal defense. I won’t say Hipgnosis is willing to spend that much, but they’re willing to spend more than you, so artists are SOL.

So here’s the deal, Hipgnosis is going to start issuing AI songs from their artists. First in line is Elton John, with a third iteration of “Captain Fantastic.”

Yes, you’ll remember that it was Merck who got Elton to do a second “Captain Fantastic” album back in 2006, “The Captain & the Kid.” Forget that it was an artistic and commercial flop, Merck is akin to Steve Jobs and his reality distortion field, once Merck gets you in his sights, good luck resisting him.

But this time the album is about Elton’s marriage and family. In the modern world everybody wants to know more about their favorite artists, so there’s a ready market for this. And it will keep Elton’s legacy alive until he gets sick of retirement and goes back on the road. Elton and Merck see this as a win-win.

As for Neil Young, yes, “Harvest II” is in the works. If you loved “Heart of Gold,” if “Old Man” now resonates, you’re going to love this. And now that Neil is back on Spotify, cash will flow.

As for “After the Gold Rush II”… That’s on the back burner, Neil’s worried about looking like a breadhead, so the next Neil Young AI album will be “Trans II,” with liner notes from David Geffen, admitting that he was wrong, that Neil was ahead of his time, EDM ultimately triumphed, and it was a mistake to sue Neil for the original album not being commercial.

As for those who are dead, expect a new Christine McVie Fleetwood Mac style album. Merck is angling to call it “Fleetwood Mac,” but Lindsey has so far said no, pissed that he was kicked out of the band.

Richie Sambora? He’s coming back. If Jon Bon Jovi could remake “Wanted Dead or Alive” as “Blaze of Glory” for the film “Young Guns II,” Richie feels that creating a new take for Andy Cohen’s “Housewives” franchise is fair play. And let’s be honest, more people are interested in the “Housewives” than any new music from Bon Jovi. The Housewives are the new rock stars, living without limits, spending their dough willy-nilly. Realizing the opportunity, Jon is about to throw in, remembering what “Deadliest Catch” did for the original number. Tommy used to work on the docks, but he’s now got a bad back and disability is not paying the bills, so why not?

So what exactly is involved?

Insiders believed that Merck/Hipgnosis would employ “Suno”:

“A ChatGPT for Music Is Here. Inside Suno, the Startup Changing Everything – Suno wants everyone to be able to produce their own pro-level songs – but what does that mean for artists?”: https://shorturl.at/kvNVW

But Merck had Dave Stewart test the software and it was determined it was too primitive for Hipgnosis’s use. Merck is about flash, the big show, the breakthrough, and therefore he’s partnering…

You’d think it would be Sam Altman and Microsoft, but you’d be wrong.

Merck is partnering with Elon Musk. Yes, Hipgnosis has got Nikki Sixx’s songs, might as well get in bed with the devil, since shouting didn’t seem to work.

This is a joint Tesla/SpaceX endeavor. The code has been written. It’s beta for now, but everybody who’s heard it is absolutely astounded. You see the software can replicate artists at their peak, before their voices cratered and they could no longer write hit songs. Garbage in, garbage out. But with this software, code-named “GrimesX,” only the best stuff is put in, so only the best stuff comes out.

So what you do is enter the greatest hits of an artist, and then there are various boxes to check. Do you want to add an 808? Do you want it to sound like today or yesterday? Furthermore, personal information from each artist is entered to help flesh out the lyrics. Now every artist has not agreed to contribute, but there’s so much public domain information…

Merck has hired the children of David Dunn, Shot Tower’s majordomo, to write up these bios. At highly inflated salaries. Merck figures it’s best to embrace your enemy. And let’s not forget David Dunn almost rescued Michael Jackson, hopefully he can rescue Hipgnosis.

“Michael Jackson was near bankruptcy banker testifies as court prepares to decide if his estate owes $1 BILLION in unpaid taxes”: https://rb.gy/gd8fgg

Now we all know it’s hard to create a hit these days. But with the right promotion… Remember all the hoopla about that execrable new Beatles track last fall? Merck specializes in promotion, that’s one of the complaints in the Shot Tower findings, that $1.5 to $2 million was spent every year on awards shows and PR, “Including significant payments to multiple industry periodicals”… So, is that why Merck always gets such favorable ink in “Hits”? Dennis and Lenny will throw Merck a bone by promoting these AI cuts, but not forever, not without more moola.

So if Merck pulls this off… Not only are the fortunes of Hipgnosis turned around, the asset value of the company will be so high that Merck plans to make a run at Universal. He wants Lucian to work for him! You might think this is impossible, but you don’t know how much money Blackstone has, and the business is all about money and stock price these days, believe me.

Since Merck is the first customer, and is providing such legendary artists for material, X will heavily promote these new AI concoctions. Expect to see and hear this new music when you scroll.

So who needs artists?

The cost of new music production is too high. And it’s nearly impossible to break a new act. So why not just milk the classic acts, the ones signed to Hipgnosis?

Merck and Hipgnosis have first mover advantage here. Despite all the complaints, once these AI tracks start bringing in the dough, everybody else will want in. No one was selling their catalog, and then Dylan did and everybody followed. But once you sell… You lose control, at least most of it. To get those big bucks you’ve got to give something up.

Forget K-pop, forget Beyoncé going country, AI is much bigger than both. AI is a musical revolution. And GrimesX is already astonishingly good. I’ve heard it and I was wowed. We’ve been waiting for a new Beatles for over half a century. Now we can have them. Along with a new Stones, a new Yes and a new Debbie Gibson.

Enough with the wannabes complaining about streaming payments, best to let the superstars reign and hoover up all the money.

Right now it’s too expensive to replicate ABBA’s Voyage. but don’t think Merck isn’t laying the pipe.

He’s a visionary I tell you!