Rock stars are just like you and me. They beg for publicity and will do anything to get attention. Even worse, it usually doesn’t work.

Do you know the Rolling Stones have a new album? You probably do, Mick and Keith have been everywhere. But despite the hype, you probably haven’t bothered to listen to “Hackney Diamonds,”  of its twelve songs, only five have more than one million streams on Spotify, three just breaking that number, and “Angry” and “Sweet Sounds of Heaven,” released weeks previously, have ten million and four million respectively.

Now compare this to the Spotify Top 50, the Global Daily Top 50, wherein the number one cut, “Seven,” by Jung Kook and Latto, got five million plus streams and number 50, “Ella Baila Sola,” by Eslabon Armado and Peso Puma, got nearly one point seven million streams. Once again, these are in one day! It’s like “Hackney Diamonds” doesn’t exist.

Except in the publicity world. The three remaining original Stones, which are really only two, have been featured everywhere, and it makes me wince, because once upon a time the Stones were considered dangerous.

Now, not everybody has taken this path. Robert Plant has been on a crusade to undercut his golden god image from Led Zeppelin and create a new, more credible one as a roots singer. And Paul McCartney… Well, he was always considered somewhat lightweight, personality-wise, and he’s continuing in the same role. Then again, he needs to be everywhere, he needs to remind us he’s a Beatle, but the Fab Four made it on mania, the Stones were the anti, maybe even the Antichrist.

This is what rock was based on. This was part of its draw, what made it classic. The hitmakers existed in their own world, separate from the rest of us. The rules did not apply to them. They tore up hotel rooms and their handlers whipped off hundred dollar bills to pay for the damage. They bedded women ad infinitum, just being a star seemed to make everyone desire them, and they slept ’til noon and did drugs and now…

They’re just like you and me. And it’s creepy.

They don’t lead with their music, they lead with the hype. They’re little different from the social media influencers, except these online denizens do it better.

Yes, the influencers know the game, don’t show up every few years, but every day. They know who their audience is and they play to it and no one else. Furthermore, when they try to cross over to the mainstream, they almost always fail. Because most people don’t care. But most people don’t care about anything! This is why I want you to read Taylor Lorenz’s book, because you probably won’t know almost anybody in it but they’re making a ton more dough than all those wankers bitching about Spotify payments. They’re young, they’re not burdened by legacy constructs, they’re inventing and doing it their way. Whereas…

Mick Jagger is on SNL. And my one takeaway was that he’s got bad teeth. Keith fixed his, albeit with too-white veneers or caps. I knew it was him at the Hollywood Bowl because when he came out on stage his teeth beamed. Somewhere in between the two is truth, is reality.

And even fiction is more truthful than reality. In “Nada,” the surprise star is Robert DeNiro, yes, in an Argentinian TV series. And up close and personal you can see that he hasn’t whitened his teeth. His hair is gray on the verge of white and DeNiro looks like a real person, unlike all the old musicians who get plastic surgery to look the same age as they did when they had their hits, decades ago. DeNiro has authenticity, these rockers do not. The rockers with surgery, and you can always tell (the only two people who ever got plastic surgery and still looked like themselves were Susan Sarandon and Christie Brinkley, and now the latter has crossed that threshold with too much work), don’t seem to exist in the real world, they seem frozen in time. Ultimately it’s the songs that are the stars, which is why Journey can still do such great business sans Steve Perry. Then again, if Perry was in the band it would be different, because Perry hasn’t whored himself out left and right.

Then again, Perry’s new album, he had one a few years back, don’t you know, stiffed. And the Stones are fearful that their album will do so as well. Then again, Perry did not put his out under the moniker “Journey” and it did not get good reviews, unlike “Hackney Diamonds,” which is perceived as a return to form, the best Stones work in decades.

And either you care or you don’t.

But it seems that the Stones care more than the audience.

Kind of like Van Morrison. He constantly puts out new music to near crickets, but it doesn’t bother him, he still does prodigious business on the road. And you’ve got to give credit to Van the Man for being a unique individual, going his own way, with inane statements about the coronavirus and more.

Oh, don’t tell me you agree, believe me the aged audience that still cares all got the jab, they do their best to rationalize Morrison’s ramblings in order to go to the show. As for Clapton… He played a show for RFK, Jr. I didn’t go to his Crossroads guitar festival as as a result. I don’t want to give him a dime. This guy has lost the plot and is using his pulpit to spew false information, we must protest this in a world where truth is elusive. Even worse, Clapton keeps doubling down. Eric looks like a doddering old madman, whereas that’s part of Van’s personality, he was always seen as difficult and crazy.

To make it even more complicated, let’s venture into the hip-hop world, where boasting and getting paid is part of the ethos. Unfortunately, this has rendered so much of the oeuvre a cartoon. And think about it, the most successful rapper is Drake, who appeared on “DeGrassi,” he’s cuddly and safe and that’s all right, but if you think it’s the way it used to be, you’ve got memory problems.

Now in truth a lot of the hip-hop world is still dangerous. You wonder how these people live in mansions and have a number of exotic automobiles? Because a lot of their income flies under the radar, they show up at a club to rap to tape and… And then there’s the sponsorship, the endorsements, they’ve figured out a new way to get paid, read “Rap  Capital” by the “New York Times”‘s Joe Coscarelli, your eyes might bug out. Then again, “Rap Capital” is a tome that isn’t that easy to read, and you’d rather rag on influencers and hate on Taylor Lorenz than listen to what she has to say. Ain’t that America, where you decry the other side and don’t even investigate what they have to say.

So what’s a poor boy to do?

Certainly not play in a rock and roll band. Odds are you won’t be heard and if money is your thing, there are so many better, easier ways to make bank, like at the bank itself! As for getting laid… With smartphone cameras everywhere, you can’t do what you used to. The old lifestyle doesn’t exist anymore.

So what do the Stones do? Become all warm and cuddly. So you’ll like them, so you’ll go see them. Whereas most people go to see them because they’re afraid this will be the last tour, and they want to relive their memories. It’s positively calcified, but they’ve got a new album!

In a world where there’s so much music you don’t even bother to listen to it. Come on, in the old days you would have bought “Hackney Diamonds” on Friday and played it incessantly thereafter, waiting for it to reveal itself.

Now?

Why bother. I mean a record isn’t going to change the world. And the musicians are sold-out whores who will do anything for a buck. There are people standing up for their beliefs everywhere, but the Stones have neutered their personalities and…

Maybe this is who they always were, maybe the image is a fiction. Then again, they did have to cleanse Keith Richards’s blood in order for him to go on tour.

Yes, what a long strange trip it’s been. If you died early, your image is intact. But if you continue to live, you can’t make new music that matters, you’re in limbo, so what do you do?

Let’s be clear, Don Henley gets it. The Eagles don’t put out new music, he admits what the band is, him and a bunch of sidemen, and they go on the road and render perfect renditions of their hits. They don’t need to be in your face constantly, because they know the people will show up at the gig anyway, that all the hype and publicity has got nothing to do with it.

And they’ll show up at the Stones shows too, no one will listen to “Hackney Diamonds” and decide now’s the time to lay down triple digits to see the band, they decided whether to go or not years back.

And as perfect as the Eagles are, that’s how rough the Stones are. But that’s what the Stones are selling live, and it works, they’re better than they’ve been in years. So if you haven’t gone in a while, I implore you to, if you care.

But as for the belief that these are bad boys aligned with the devil, doing drugs in dungeons, that ship sailed long ago.

Meanwhile, you’ve got people living on fumes, trying to emulate the lifestyle, still with long hair and leather and that’s creepy too.

You must live, you must evolve, but that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your identity.

And you don’t need to beg for attention. I saw the three remaining Stones on the cover of “Hits,” which most people are unaware exists, never mind in print. And if you’re on the cover that means Dennis and Lenny are getting paid. I mean do you really need to stoop that low? Oh, someone said they were connected at radio, which doesn’t even break records anymore anyway, that happens online.

Which means if you’re going to promote your record at all, you figure out who your fans are and market directly to them. This shotgun approach, trying to reach everyone, banging us over the head with your new project, just angers us. We get it, you’ve got new music, next!

The Stones could have been true to form, to identity, could have been dangerous, but they were afraid, so they blinked.

Maybe you don’t care. Then again, you’re not listening to “Hackney Diamonds.”

But my point is not about the Stones anyway, they’re just the latest exponent. My point is the old paradigm is dead. Which is one reason today’s music is not as good as yesterday’s. Bill Graham complained that every time the Jefferson Airplane got paid they wanted to stay at home and smoke dope, they didn’t want to work. Which is why whatever I write here people will respond by saying look at the money! Whenever I analyze the nuances that’s the response. Look at how much they’re making! Which is exactly the problem. When you put money first, you lose your soul. And if you’re doing it right there’s enough money for everyone anyway, never mind that oftentimes it’s not that much, you can’t buy a private jet, you can’t even fly private!

The records are inviolate. You can hear “Sympathy for the Devil” and still remember the danger. Ditto seeing the band on stage doing “Midnight Rambler” in ’69 or ’72. Your memories are frozen in time.

But everyone grew up. You’re no longer in thrall to the rockers, they’re just entertainment. Something to do on a Saturday night. Your lifestyle is pretty good itself, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to pay the sky high ticket prices. Yes, you’re just as good as Mick and Keith. An equal.

And that’s not the way it used to be.