I’m At The Beach

You get older and you start to disconnect.

Every morning I wake up and immediately jump on my phone. I don’t leave it by the bed, at some point I turn off the ringer and plug it in in the other room, otherwise I’d never get to sleep. But when I wake up, I grab it first thing and then sit down on the throne and read the news.

Yes, the porcelain goddess. You might find that gross, but in truth I’ve always loved the bathroom. It’s private. If the door is closed, no one can come in, especially if it’s locked. Grow up in a split-level with four other people and you treasure your privacy.

And like in that old Joni Mitchell song, I’m looking at the news and it’s all bad. Putin wants to invade Ukraine because Ukraine is going to start fighting first. And he’s convinced his constituents of that fallacy. They’re gung-ho. As for America, Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity are fanning the flames of trucker protests in the U.S. Meanwhile, Trump takes his presidential documents to Mar-a-Lago and it seems the brouhaha of Hillary’s e-mails is forgotten. As for Ukraine, Michael Moore is telling us to stay out, as is Fox News, but those in D.C. on both sides of the fence are saying we have to defend Ukraine against the Russians.

Now if you’ve been to the area, it’s astounding how close these countries are. Like states in America. As for burying one’s head in the sand in the name of nationalism, today’s paper said that BMW was buying back 50% of its Chinese operation to ultimately own 75%. The old laws limited ownership, now Xi has loosened it up. And BMW has to operate in China, because it’s the world’s biggest market!

Having grown up in the last century it’s hard to fathom the changes. Forget the loss of kumbaya, forget the greed, forget the billionaires, hands-down the United States was the most powerful and profitable nation in the world. One thing we know for sure, if the sun hasn’t set on this paradigm yet, it soon will.

As for democracy…

So on one hand I’m drawn in. On another, I detach, because in truth I won’t live that long. The long term effects of global warming…it’s bad now, but it’s going to be really bad after I pass away.

So I’m torn between two worlds.

But it’s even worse. Everybody my age is retiring. That’s right, they saved for decades, invested that money they made oftentimes doing work they didn’t want to do and now they want to relax. Which is hard for me to fathom, I still believe I have some runway. But I’m one of the few who doesn’t want to call it quits.

Furthermore, the game has changed. There used to be clearly defined winners and losers. Now I hope your victory satisfies you, because no one else cares. So you question what your direction is, and why you do it.

And back to Putin… He’s stealing from his own country exactly why. To become even richer? I mean how much is enough? He’s my age, I think with a hundred million dollars I could do just fine, never mind a billion.

And this weekend is the Super Bowl. Which is being played in L.A.

I think the game should be banned. One day we’ll wake up and do so. A humane, caring society wouldn’t let men damage themselves this way, getting CTE, shortening their lives. But there’s too much money involved. And it’s one of the few avenues of success available to Black people. So as long as the pay remains high, you will find people to participate.

And I remember the first Super Bowl. That’s how old I am. Back when it had no gravitas, when the AFL was seen as kind of a joke, and the first two Super Bowls proved it, and then came Namath.

Now in the name of money they play football in the winter. But ironically, in L.A. this weekend, where the game is being held, it’s like summer, it’s in the eighties.

And in truth, I’ve spent most of the past two years housebound. And I’ve been in a cocoon. I talk on the phone even less than I did before, which was miniscule to begin with. I’m waiting for the time when I can turn into a butterfly. Which isn’t quite yet. Then again, like I read in that tweet, they’ve done the research at YouTube University and have decided that Covid is gone and the country needs to open.

So we got on Sunset…to the beach, just like in that Steely Dan song. And the traffic was worse than it is even on a summer day. Because it’s Saturday, because it’s Super Bowl weekend and tourists are here, everybody wants to drive up PCH, have that California experience, which in truth, you cannot get anywhere else.

And after parking I surveyed the ocean, which is glassy, and a big wave came in.

And I smiled.

Ella was making a sand castle. She’s three. When I was that age I went to the beach all the time, every day during the summer, with my mother. And I built sandcastles too, but back then the tools were made out of metal, not plastic, and I cut my hand on a rusty bucket and got my first stitches, four, in my hand, at age four.

And the waves keep coming in, big wheel turning, the hand of God.

And it really isn’t any different than it’s always been. Like George Carlin said, save yourself, the planet will be here forever.

But George is dead. So many are dead. The biggies and those not so big. Like Ian McDonald of King Crimson, they wanted me to write about him. And I certainly know who he is, and how he ventured to Foreigner, and he was there for the first three albums, before Mutt Lange came aboard and jetted an already huge band into the stratosphere. And if McDonald had died back then…it would have been big news.

But now rockers are dying left and right. It’s their time. Their bad behavior and lack of medical attention is catching up with them. We thought they and their music were forever, it’s weird to grow old and find out that is not true.

So there are so many things I don’t own. But none of them would give me that feeling of staring out at the water, the sun on my face, just one human being on the face of the earth. That’s the only context that really matters, the rest is a competition you’re involved in until you reach an age where you can see it is a joke, no one is remembered, and you can’t take your money with you.

So it’s really about the next generation. You gain joy from seeing them experience for the very first time that which you know by heart.

And this year, reluctant to go to a party, I now realize I’m not that excited about watching the Super Bowl, that I could miss it completely and lose nothing. Even the commercials… They don’t mean what they used to.

Nothing means what it used to. But you’ve got to get old enough to realize this.

Then again, the younger generations are all about experiences. They need to document them, but once again, you get old enough and you know you’ll probably never look at those pictures again and after you die they’ll get thrown out or deleted.

And this may sound like a downer, but it’s not, not at all. I’ve been LIBERATED! It doesn’t pay to fight with the ignorant. The truth always outs. And sure, you need money to live, but you don’t really need that much, otherwise you’re just showing off, and like David Geffen posting a pic of himself on his yacht during Covid, you become a target of ridicule.

You’ve got to be happy on the inside.

And that’s quite a challenge. Because nobody’s happy all the time, nobody. You’ve got to endure the lows to appreciate the highs.

Like being inside forever and then coming to the beach.

Where the freedom we embraced in the sixties was launched. By the Beach Boys, the rest of California. Now, everyone wants to make fun of California, point to its flaws, but if they were here today they’d change their opinion.

Yes, at the end of the country, three thousand miles and three time zones from the east coast. Or, as Larry Ellison told Dr. Agus… I’ll give you the money to build a research facility, but not in New York. In New York you fail once and you’re done. In California you fail and you pick yourself up and do it again, and again. And why would you want to be in New York anyway, where you talk to bankers, isn’t it better to be on the west coast with the creative people, the thinkers?

But I’m not trying to convince you. I hope you’re happy where you are.

If I had my suit with me I’d go in the water. I’ve already gotten my feet wet. Sure, the water is cold, but it’s so hot out, it’s refreshing. It would be a shock to the system.

And that’s the kind of shock I’m looking for.

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