Vinyl

How could this show be this bad? Are Martin Scorsese and Mick Jagger really this out of touch? As for Terence Winter, he was involved with the “Sopranos,” I guess that proves that David Chase was the genius there.

I lived through 1973. Although there were no cell phones, there was plenty of boredom, the world was not hoppin’ and poppin’ 24/7. Sure, the Dolls played the Mercer Arts Center, but there was no mania in the streets, certainly not kids running to the venue like they are in the beginning of this production so lame you sit there with your jaw dropped open.

It’s 2016. We’ve come full circle. Truth, justice and the American Way have returned. We want veracity, credibility and honesty. Bernie Sanders, a septuagenarian, has locked up the youth vote by speaking the truth and these counterculture heroes, Marty and Mick, have cooked up this dreck?

First and foremost, it was miscast. We never believe Bobby Cannavale as a record exec. He rings false. And casting is everything. It even supersedes script.

Which in this case is so busy being faithful to what was that it ends up being disloyal to life. Nobody acts this way. Except for maybe Ray Romano, who nails the promo exec.

Yes, there are moments. Even insights. But there’s so much scenery chewing and plot points played as real that never could be that you wince.

As for the wall to wall rock and roll soundtrack… We learned decades ago that this does not make a hit movie, why would someone believe it would succeed on TV?

And, trying to pepper the story with endless references to the era, illustrating how faithful the show is, they talk about lyme disease in Greenwich years before it was a factor. And I’d let that slide if this show had any heart, any truth, instead of trying to get us all excited as an accurate portrayal of what once was.

The reason the “Sopranos” succeeded, was because they threw out the Mafia cookbook. You know, the one with too many “dems” and “dose” wherein tough guys shot each other. Tony was just another suburban denizen…with an edge. The juxtaposition with crime and normalcy was infectious. Tony could take his daughter on a college tour and still strangle an old member of the Mob along the way.

You know what they say in Hollywood, “What have you done for me lately?” And despite being legends, Scorsese and Jagger haven’t done much, the people greenlighting this fiasco were mesmerized by their fame. As for musical TV shows, “Empire” is over the top, that was an artistic choice that succeeded, here they’re playing for accuracy and coming nowhere near it.

As for having youngsters play oldsters… Although the Peter Grant character does a good job of threatening the label people, he’s too short and not paunchy enough and not imposing enough, he acts scary, he just ISN’T scary. And Robert Plant looks like a poof. A weakling who couldn’t get David Bowie in bed.

This is not the way it was.

There was dope and drink, there was crime, but music drove the culture, the acts were gods, and despite ripping the artists off, the execs were enthralled and threatened by them.

I don’t know if that era can come back, too much light shines today. We’re moving towards transparency, however reluctant the oldsters might be. You just can’t do anything illicit anymore. The groupie at the Edgewater Inn would sell mudshark pictures to TMZ.

Then again, we’ve got acts for the modern age. All flash and no substance. Any rough edges have either been rubbed off or exaggerated to generate press. Kanye’s antics resemble the manipulations of Bob Marcucci more than Brian Epstein, it’s about idolmakers. And the press is little better than “16” magazine. Kanye spews a litany of untruths, the writers repeat them, few hear the album and it’s lauded as genius. Huh? As for Taylor Swift reacting to Yeezy at the Grammy Awards, that resembles something out of “Mean Girls” more than modern society. Are you that thin-skinned?

So don’t waste your time.

I’m just mad I had to listen to a year’s worth of hype on such a lame effort.

But that’s today, where they throw it against the wall, promote the hell out of it, and if it doesn’t stick, they just sell something else the very next day.

No wonder every kid believes he’s a star. They’ve got more gravitas than these two-dimensional “brands” with no soul that’ll do anything for the money.

I always thought Scorsese was overrated. He’s bad with arc, but he used to get the feel right.

But here he’s lost his touch.

As for Mick Jagger…

Stick to music!

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