It’s not jewelry!

If Apple messes up its music launch as badly as its watch launch, they’re screwed.

Not that I expect that to happen. Creating a music app is not that difficult. Creating a whole new computing device…now that’s a challenge, to both build and educate customers with regard thereto.

The public’s perception of Apple has changed. People see it as a personal electronics company. A corporation that sells devices you can purchase at Best Buy, take home, plug in and forget.

The Apple Watch is not that. The Apple Watch is akin to the Macintosh. The original. Back in 1984. It looks cool and easy, but the truth is although cool, it’s frustrating. Just ask anybody who had to swap floppy disks back in the day.

So I ordered an Apple Watch because I’m sick of living in the sixties. Waiting for the process to be refined and the price to come down. All that means is you live without the product for a few years, and that’s a mistake. I might as well get the utility today. The price comes down, power is increased, but the truth is today we expect products that work right out of the box, which the Apple Watch does, assuming you know how to use it.

And you don’t.

The learning curve is STEEP!

And let me be clear. My goal isn’t to have you “ooh” and “ahh” when you see it on my wrist, but to extract functionality from it. I want to use all the features. And I found it hard to get past Go, because the device is not intuitive.

But they know that. Which is why they offer help.

Now I’m wary that Angela Ahrendts is gonna screw up the company, turning Apple into fashion. If you think the Apple Watch is a fashion device, you don’t have one. And I doubt all the celebrities who were given one, make me puke, know how to use it.

And the funny thing is they’re positioning the watch as jewelry.

But it’s sold by geeks.

Go to the store, the clerks are clueless. They make like they’re selling a luxury device, but luxury goods are sold completely differently, by well-groomed people who are familiar with the device… Nobody I ran into at the Apple Store really knew how the watch worked.

But the guy I just had a chat with…

That’s what I’m talking about. Turns out after charging the device I got an e-mail, did I want a Personal Setup Session?

I figured it was canned video. Then I clicked through and found out you had to make a reservation. Come on, who’s got time, I don’t want to wait. But there turned out to be a slot at 9 PM tonight, so I took it. I just got off the phone.

Thank god I spoke with this guy, otherwise I’d have no real idea how to use the watch. He helped.

But he was a geek. With a stutter. A techie. He could never sell a Rolex, never mind a Ferrari.

But the truth is Rolex and Breitling and even Timex are screwed. Because just like the computer eviscerated the typewriter, the Apple Watch and its ilk are gonna eviscerate timepieces, because they just don’t do enough, they only tell time, and that’s the least of our worries in the modern world, we want to communicate, we want access to all our information, and the Apple Watch provides this.

I was getting into it. I saw my entire evening slipping away. I figured I’d go till midnight with Jonathan.

But he didn’t tell me the session was limited to forty five minutes until we were close to the end. I wouldn’t have wasted so much time on faces. And I can’t repeat this session. Then again, how would they know?

Of course they know, just ask Edward Snowden.

So Jonathan got me over the hump. But it reminds me of buying my Mac Plus back in ’86, but then I could spend all night studying the manual. Sure, I can go on my phone and read the help… But when you study, you need more.

And I’m gonna have to study to figure out how this thing works.

But after my initial frustration I was getting excited.

You’re gonna get one.

You just don’t know it yet.