Testosterone
Dan and I skied Marx. A double diamond on the side of Lone Peak…I haven’t skied anything that steep in eons.
But it wasn’t the steepness, but the bumps on top that were challenging.
Let me put it this way…this is the kind of slope where if you fall, you slide all the way to the bottom. And if you’re lucky, you’ll miss the rocks. And the rest of the posse hit it the morning of the very first day.
Needless to say I’ve got more experience than they do. Forget the past, even this year I’ve skied ten times as much. And the thing about testing yourself, challenging yourself…you want to be at one with your body, you want to know where all the moving parts are, you want to be so prepared that if you make a mistake, you can recover.
But guys on vacation don’t think this way. They’ve got something to prove. And the testosterone makes it so no one can back out. Hell, it took all my inner strength to say no the very first day. And now having skied Marx, I’m glad I held back. My calf was still killing me. Psychologically it would have been tough.
Which is all to say when today’s lunch discussion turned to the tram and the snowboarders’ desire to do Marx again this afternoon, I said I was out.
So greetings from Big Sky, on the top of the country, so far out of the way it feels it. As for the skiing, they might as well call it “Big Rock.” I’m gonna have to buy a new pair of boards after this trip. But better the boards than my body, my salesman taught me that, sure he wants to move more product, but he was right. Stuff you can buy can be replaced. People? Not so much.
So I’ve got to tell you about this place we had dinner at in Bozeman, the Desert Rose.
Actually, it was in Belgrade, that’s what the owner told us. She’s a refugee from Minnesota. She teaches reading in addition. It’s hard to make it in the hinterlands and everybody’s trying to get ahead.
That’s right, most people I’ve run into are immigrants. They were sick of the city, they wanted some space to spread out, where no one was gonna interfere. And at Big Sky, no one does. The Headwaters lift is open despite most of the runs consisting of rocks.
Anyway, I remember the last time I was in this neck of the woods. Right after I’d graduated from college. I stopped in a roadside restaurant and had a slice of roast beef so tough I’ve never forgotten it. But hipster food has now made it to Montana. The Desert Rose had four types of vinaigrette dressing. And no door for the crapper.
You don’t see that in the city.
I’m taking a pee and right next to me is a guy on the throne. Well, he was behind a small wall, but there was no door in sight. And this was not a one person bathroom, there were multiple urinals.
So some things in the country still remain.
As for the hang…
These guys all know each other, from snowboarding, from New Jersey, I’m a latecomer and they are welcoming but I wonder to what degree I fit in. I can talk sports, cars and music. But at this point in my life I’d prefer to read a book.
Not that I’m judging. I don’t know what life is about anymore. These guys talk about going to the club, dropping in on each other to play music and hang, and I wonder if I made a wrong turn somewhere and missed my life.
Life. I was told it’s about achievement.
I’m learning I may be wrong.
Turns out if you’ve got a job that pays the bills and a house and a family you’ve made it in America. It’s about the good times.
Not that these guys are poor. Wall Street pays well. But they work hard. One guy has to be in the office at 7:05 and doesn’t leave until 5. Well, that was at the name brand firm that he just left behind. And another one who doesn’t have to work told me has no passion for the job he does, but he’s got to do something.
And that makes me feel good about the path I’ve taken. When it comes to work. But all that sacrificing, was it worth it?
I’m not sure.
So I’m getting a glimpse into other people’s lives. And instead of feeling superior, I’m feeling inferior.
But not when it comes to skiing.
It takes about twenty days to get that edge. In a row. When you can ski the double diamonds and survive. And the funny thing is you know when to go, you’re spontaneously motivated to challenge yourself.
But until I get that feeling, I try to hold back.
But it’s so hard.
Because of the pressure.
Because of the testosterone.
“Skiing Big Sky – Marx with GoPro 2012”
This video was shot three years ago when they actually had snow. If I had a GoPro you’d have seen tons of rocks and a traverse so hairy it deserves its own double diamonds. Furthermore, today the bumps were bigger. But you’ll get the idea…Marx Run (not me, not today, but it’ll give you an idea of the steepness)
