Listen Up Philip

That was depressing.

Sometimes I don’t know who I am anymore. You live long enough and the dreams you had fade into darkness, replaced by life, and then you realize you’re just living, you’ve got no idea where you’re going, time is running out of the hourglass and you want to hold back the sand, you want time to think, you want to revisit every relationship, every choice, you want to figure it all out. But then you realize it’s impossible.

But it’s not impossible for Philip and Ike, they want to be great writers.

I hadn’t even heard of this film until yesterday, when I was reading the movie blurbs in the “New Yorker” whilst waiting for the microwave to heat up some soup. It was my kind of movie. I’ve got a good track record with this kind of thing. When a movie or a book review resonates, when I feel it’s in my wheelhouse, I dive in. And what gets me going most is relationships.

They’re an enigma.

Philip has a relationship with Elizabeth Moss. I no longer watch “Mad Men,” I find it equivalent to watching paint dry. But I did give it a season plus and I never found the appeal of Ms. Moss. But in this film she shines. She’s both alive and insecure. That’s what mama never told me, how everybody is screwed up, how everybody feels lonely, how everybody has more questions than answers. When Philip abandons her after she’s been a supportive girlfriend she’s completely flummoxed. No conversation appeals. She’s surrounded by people all day, but feels so alone. And she just can’t stop thinking about him. She even reads his old college stories.

Truth. We rarely see it in art. We rarely talk about it. Because it’s just too painful. We’re all trying to connect and after numerous failures some just give up. You know them, over fifty and single, burned too many times, their optimism is gone. They don’t want to be fixed up, they fantasize about someone perfect, but they’re unwilling to compromise.

Philip is unwilling to compromise. He sacrifices for his art. But in the process can you sacrifice your whole life?

Ike did.

Television is the art form of choice. But even TV doesn’t go this deep. Because it doesn’t get ratings. People don’t want to be reminded of loneliness and pain, they’re glad they’ve emerged from it, that it’s in their past.

And it’s in my past. Psychotherapy taught me how not to be the person Philip is. Getting angry, speaking his mind, alienating those he truly wants to be close to. The reward of life is being close to others. But too many can’t get out of their own way.

I live in California. Which is sunny in weather and disposition. People are optimistic. If you’re not smiling, no one has time for you, no one wants to hear your pain. Everything not new and shiny is eventually replaced. We’ve got no time for losers. It’s very different from the east coast, where the dilapidated buildings stand and you wander in bad weather just wishing you could escape, mentally even more than physically.

So the story is Jason Schwartzman is Philip Lewis Friedman, who’s just finished his second novel and believes authenticity is key. He refuses to go on a book tour, he refuses to pose with props. But does his authenticity leave him not only out of the game, but out of life?

Elizabeth Moss is a successful photographer who adores Philip even though he wants nothing to do with her friends who can’t understand why she is with him.

Jonathan Pryce is a lonely old superstar writer who can’t write anymore so he adopts Philip, to have someone to talk to.

And Josephine de la Baume is a professor at the college where Philip gets a temporary teaching gig who conspires against him, forces Philip into existential loneliness, because she’s pissed he got his job without paying his dues.

That’s real life.

Real life is not Kardashians flaunting their wealth.

Real life is not Taylor Swift dating every famous man she comes in contact with.

Real life is not Mark Zuckerberg and the rest of the Ivy dropouts moving to Silicon Valley and revolutionizing the world.

Real life is fraught with choices and challenges, more losses than victories, it’s all angst and loneliness with a few exquisite moments amidst the despair and the desire.

“Listen Up Philip” captures this.

P.S. I watched it On Demand on Time Warner Cable. It’s already left the Los Angeles theatres. I wish everything went to multi-format same day release. Going to the multiplex can be such a hassle.

P.P.S. I don’t recommend this movie. If what I’ve written resonates and you want to see it, if you want to explore the dark side of life, go for it, but you’re on your own.

P.P.P.S. The film is not great, but it captures a mood, a feeling, the mystery of life, and for that I have to applaud it. It both resonated and creeped me out.

P.P.P.P.S. I don’t know how a movie like this gets made, who finances it. We live in a world where everybody wants to state their truth, but we’ve got no time to listen, certainly not to that which is not considered a blockbuster. This is the anti-comic book movie. But we live in a comic book world, where the President is hated and the contrarians conspire to thwart him. If only life and entertainment went deeper, if only art could capture the reality of living on this planet, if only people could handle the truth.