YOUNG

Are friendly, they’ll talk to anybody.

OLD

Won’t talk to anybody they don’t know.

YOUNG

Believe they’re all in it together.

OLD

Are all about status. They want everybody to know they’re better than they are and will pony up for VIP access or anything that separates them from the hoi polloi, especially if it’s visible.

YOUNG

Go to the gig to have a good time, it’s about hanging with your friends, known and unknown, it’s a license to party.

OLD

Go to the gig to hear the band. They know at least a few songs, if not all of them, unless, of course, they got the tickets through Goldstar or another discount operation…old people love a deal, they’ll sit through almost anything if it’s cheap enough.

YOUNG

Don’t remember a day when hats were not cool.

OLD

Some will wear hats, a bunch still will not, other than baseball caps, they still remember Kennedy being inaugurated sans chapeau, or the influence thereof.

YOUNG

Love to dress up, Halloween was always a national holiday to them, they’re unafraid of looking stupid.

OLD

Will dress up on occasion, but are too inhibited to look stupid.

YOUNG

Let their freak flags fly. If you’re odd, you can still be included.

OLD

Don’t want to be the victim of derision. They’re judging their brethren all the time. They haven’t seen each other as equal since Woodstock.

YOUNG

Are optimistic.

OLD

Are pessimistic.

YOUNG

Are laissez-faire, they believe life will work out.

OLD

Are afraid if they don’t pay attention, they’re gonna get screwed, they’re always afraid of getting screwed.

YOUNG

Want a photo.

OLD

Want an autograph.

YOUNG

See marijuana as part of the culture.

OLD

Still see marijuana as cool.

YOUNG

Don’t need a fancy car, if they need a car at all. They want to go places, but they’re willing to use every mode of transportation, from the bus to the plane.

OLD

See a car as a status item. They’ve got to have one and most keep theirs in good shape, they believe their auto is a reflection of their identity.

YOUNG

Want to travel.

OLD

Want to stay put.

YOUNG

Need to be there.

OLD

Don’t need to be anywhere, unless it confers status upon them, they’d rather stay home and watch television than go to the gig.

YOUNG

Listen to all kinds of music.

OLD

Only listen to the music they already know.

YOUNG

Will live with a broken cell phone screen, but they upgrade their handset as soon as they’re eligible.

OLD

Get their broken screen replaced, and are not eager to replace their handset.

YOUNG

Think that money comes and goes.

OLD

Think if you don’t hold on to the money you’ve got, you’re gonna run out in the future and they fear being destitute.

YOUNG

Smile.

OLD

Scowl.

YOUNG

Don’t talk much politics, they see the parties as similar and controlled by corporations. They see politics as “other.”

OLD

Talk politics all the time. They think they can make a difference. And they’re very busy protecting what they’ve got, irrelevant of whether this will negatively impact someone else.

YOUNG

Believe if you skip the dentist your teeth will be okay, that accidents will happen, but generally they’re invulnerable, and if they get hurt, they’ll heal.

OLD

Only skip the dentist or doctor if they can’t afford it. They shy away from activities for fear they’ll get hurt, worrying they’ll never heal.

YOUNG

Think they know everything, at least everything necessary to live.

OLD

Are so much wiser than the young, but the young won’t listen to them.

YOUNG

Don’t want to be old.

OLD

Are dying to be young.