It’s a sport unto itself!

Why am I writing about Stefani Germanotta?

Because you’re interested.

In a world with very little commonality, we gravitate to that which others are talking about, rallying around.

And the issue of whether Lady Gaga’s album is a stiff is something we can all weigh in on. Whereas whether your unsigned band is any good…we haven’t even heard it!

Gaga’s problem is the expectations became too high.

Furthermore, unlike her competitors, Gaga had an identity.

I mean who is Rihanna really?

And Justin Bieber, other than having a bad case of arrested development.

These acts are positively two-dimensional. Which is why Gaga became so big, she was three-dimensional, she stood for something.

But suddenly the act became bigger than the person. The clothes superseded the music. Talk about the Little Monsters was louder than any of her tracks.

And then outsiders lost traction.

Peter Kafka wrote a column today about a Bon Jovi video.

The Story of This Viral Video Will Blow Your Mind! (Please Tell Your Friends!)

I watched this clip before I read Peter’s story. But he got it right.

There’s an element of fakery involved.

Once upon a time we shared the unknown with ownership, let me tell you about something cool!

Now we’re on the lookout for manipulation. Everything’s fake.

And even though Gaga started out real, the manipulation trumped the truth.

Enough with the outfits.

If you can’t have a hit single, don’t try to record one.

The Beatles were smart enough to take left turns. “Sgt. Pepper” had no singles.

But Gaga tried to play the same way and lost. Because the game had changed.

Those hits on Top Forty? They’re written by committee. They’re no different from Teslas. Highly-refined items that only occasionally self-destruct. To believe a Katy Perry single is gonna fail is akin to thinking your toilet isn’t gonna flush. All the risk has been removed. It’s formula.

And Gaga wasn’t formula.

But she tried the same formula once again. Over the top outfits with over the top marketing but without a formula hit single.

Actually, “Born This Way” was formula. That’s when we started to believe she couldn’t live up to the hype, when she ripped off Madonna and didn’t seem to realize it.

So what we enjoy now most is the Gaga movie. Wherein she reacts to the haters. Where she tries to live up to the expectations but cannot.

It’s like putting a drug addict in the operating room. This ain’t gonna turn out good.

Then again, she said she was a drug addict. There was so much self-revelation it trumped the music.

Just like R. Kelly trumped Gaga herself on SNL.

SNL made her music seem small. Whereas in 2010 she was larger than life.

We were more interested in watching her in skits than listening to her music.

Gaga became a celebrity. That’s all she’s got left.

And we all know it’s about music.

But that seems to be the goal today. Let me use my music as a vehicle to celebrityhood. Because everybody knows celebrities get free stuff, everyone knows their name and they’re usually rich.

This is what Adele avoided. Sure, she had great music, but she left it at that. And a lot of personality, hers was one of the best live shows I’ve seen this century.

And then Gaga was trumped by Lorde. Who called the whole thing b.s.

Lorde made it because of the music. But she’s sustaining because of the lyrics.

Yes, “Royals” pokes holes in the empty MTV culture that still pervades the music business. Where it’s about gaining monetary trophies, living the life of a hedge funder without putting on sweatpants and going to work.

Yes, they’re no longer rock stars, they’re money stars. A rock star used to have no limits, today’s stars are tools of the system, and poorer than the bankers and techies.

And the rest of us are truly poor. All we’ve got is our ability to watch the shenanigans and discuss them.

Which is why we tweeted, before we burned out on that.

Which is why we spread viral videos, before we realized they were fake.

Which is why we’re talking about how Gaga is self-immolating… Not because we care that much, but because we’ve got nothing else to talk about!