I can’t see it!

If Steve Jobs were alive today, iOS 7 would look nothing like it does. An alta kacher baby boomer, Jobs would peer through his glasses aghast at the thin font employed, he’d say usability comes first and he’d send Jony Ive back to the drawing board.

That’s what I can’t understand about these companies, how they can be so myopic. I’m not saying they should do market research, but was there anybody at Apple born in the fifties who could raise their hand and say…I suddenly can’t tell time? When I go to type it’s like the letters are hovering in a bad space movie, wherein the planet is moving closer to the sun and we’re all in danger of being burned up.

Oh, I’m all for the future. iOS 7 looked great in Apple’s presentations. But from the moment I first saw it live, I knew it was too bright. Yup, at the beginning of August, Daniel Glass’s teenager gave me a peek, he’d registered as a developer, he had iOS 7 on his handset. Looking at it was truly being blinded by the light. This was my first impression, and we all know the first cut is the deepest.

As for scrolling upwards to get instant access to the most used settings? I’ve been consistently unable to do this. Where do you put your finger to push up?

Now Spotify and Echofon, the two apps I use most other than Safari and Mail, have not employed the new keyboard. I implore them not to. They’ve still got the blocky letters an old fart like me can see. As for old farts…they’re the ones with all the money, they’re the ones paying for their kids’ iPhones.

Yup, isn’t it funny that in a music business, an entertainment business, an entire society wherein youth is revered, where if you’ve got pubes you’re over the hill, that Steve Jobs was our country’s number one rock star? A fiftysomething? Who’d realized his arrogance was a hindrance and remade his personality, well, softened it, in order to succeed?

Yup, only a petulant youngster rants and raves that he’s made a mistake hiring John Sculley. Oh, Jobs was right, he just didn’t send the message correctly. Rather than taking cues from Kevin Spacey in “House Of Cards,” he acted like a teenager, kicking and screaming and pouting, the end result being he was put in a years-long time-out.

But then Jobs outmaneuvered Gil Amelio. Stabbed him in the back at the same time he appeared to be cozying up to him. That’s what an adult does. Someone who’s actually lived and experienced the ups and downs of life.

Oh, I know, music is for the young ‘uns, and only the young ‘uns are willing to sacrifice for it. But it’s the oldsters who truly drive the economy, not that the oldsters want to own this, they just want to diet down into their True Religion jeans and get plastic surgery resulting in skin so shiny they can light up an entire room with their reflection.

Now I’m not switching to Android, for reasons of sync if nothing else. Oh, those Android applauders…with their multiple operating systems and malware. It’s just anti-Apple arrivistes, nothing more. But Tim Cook has lost the plot and Jony Ive needs someone to bounce ideas off of. That’s what a great record producer does, filter through the concepts and keep the act on track. And hasn’t Cook seen his own Apple movie? The Mac was a failure, it limped along until Apple could execute a truly dominant product. The iPod was for everybody, at all price points, and at first the iPhone had no competitors. Going upscale only with iPhones is a recipe for death. Because it’s not about the hardware but the software. And the smaller your market share, the fewer people who write apps. Sure, the internet/web browser saved the Mac, but on a tiny phone, it’s all about the apps.

Now if Ive were smart, he’d send an update wherein I could choose my own font, so I could add a blocky one that allowed me to peck my fat fingers in the right place.

As for Cook… No Tim, you want to make cheap phones, you want to dominate the market, and you do this by undercutting everyone else. Yup, the iPod victory was all about the lock-up of solid state memory, cornering the market like a right wing industrial titan.

As for the new Mac Pro… Looks great, but you’ve got to add devices via Thunderbolt to make it work? The tiny professional market isn’t interested in design but usability. They don’t care what the device looks like, they just want to put it under their desk and have screaming I/O.

Now I hate beating up on my favorite tech company, but if I don’t, who will? Naysayers who don’t use the equipment don’t matter, fans do. Steve Jobs was not only a futurist, but an arbiter. He knew the tiniest little things made a difference, like the font employed. If you can see the time and typing keys in iOS 7, you’ve probably never had sex, you certainly don’t have kids.

Furthermore, the battery life sucks! I’m boasting to everybody that my iPhone 5 never runs out of juice, and suddenly the percentage of battery left is dropping faster than the air pressure in a tornado!