What if they toured and no one cared?

They’ve gone back to the well so many times, burned out so many markets, that to think they’re just gonna put tickets up for sale and sell out is to believe the Democrats and Republicans are gonna settle their financial disagreements by the end of the day.

They charge too much and deliver the same old thing, but without Christine McVie, it’s a cash grab and the only people who can’t see it are the rich too blind to know the tickets they’re overpaying for will not make them look good when they show up the next day and say they were in attendance.

Yup, that’s what sells the expensive ducats. Pricks who just want to say they were there. Who come late, talk through the show and leave early. Who probably weren’t even fans in the seventies.

At least the Stones had a hook. The fiftieth anniversary.

Then again, Stones sales were weak at the end of the last tour, and Fleetwood Mac has been far from an instant sellout for years.

No one cared about Lindsey Buckingham’s solo album, and although stellar, Stevie Nicks’s solo didn’t do gangbusters. The group is more than the sum of its parts. Then again, where’s Christine? It’s not that people know her, but they know her songs, which she won’t sing. As for Lindsey’s guitar pyrotechnics, the modern Fleetwood Mac audience is turned off as opposed to turned on. Like I said, the audience is not the stoners of yore, but the matrons and He-Men of the Universe of today.

But the press just parrots the story. As if people care.

They don’t.

And the fact that the band doesn’t realize this amazes me.

The Who are doing terrible numbers. Not even filling half an arena in some cases. We got it. You need the money. You’re missing half the band and we’ve seen you ad infinitum. Furthermore, Roger’s pipes are now substandard, kind of like Lindsey’s.

I’m not saying the Mac doesn’t have a right to go on the road.

But I am saying that when you put money in front of music, we get to point out the emperor has no clothes, that you’re living in the wrong decade, that you’re representative of everything that’s wrong with our country, where concerts are not life-changing events but financial affairs wherein you pay your multiple mortgages and the only people who get a good seat are the ones who employ subterfuge or overpay or both.

We thought classic rock would rule until the end. But what we find out is these greedy people end up exposing their mercenary ways and become positively creepy, turning us off.

Thank god the records are perfect. They can’t be changed.

As for new music, put out one song as good as “Rhiannon” or “Dreams” and that’ll give you a reason to tour. Just one, I dare you.