Judgemania

It’s over.

That’s what the entertainment business does best, pile on. Rather than innovate, it imitates. If one western works, they do ten. Ditto with boy bands and singing shows.

What’s interesting is “The Voice” and “X Factor” piled on a dying platform. Yup, it’s not about ratings, but the underlying construct. In other words, it doesn’t matter how many albums you sell, but whether people listen to the music. A hit band with a lousy record is already on the oldies circuit, it just doesn’t know it yet.

And speaking of knowing it, don’t Keith Urban and Nicki Minaj? Aren’t they both smart enough to avoid climbing on to a sinking ship? Top-heavy with stars, but sans any competing talent?

Yup, what we’ve learned is you can scour America, promise instant exposure, and there’s still very little talent. Certainly obvious talent. Let this be a lesson to you wannabes. It’s not that you haven’t gotten your chance, it’s that you’re just not good enough. As for those who will break through, they’ll be radically different, just like cop shows supplanted westerns and eventually we got nighttime soaps and police procedurals. The spoils go to he who comes up with the next big thing, not the person who does a great imitation of what once was. So you’ve got the range of Mariah Carey and can melisma with the best of them… Even Mariah, the progenitor, has trouble denting the chart these days!

Yes, if you want to make it, think different. Hell, remember when Apple was a pooh-poohed also-ran? Told to liquidate by Michael Dell? Who’s laughing now?

People have seen the movie. There’s nothing left behind the curtain. Which is why “X Factor” ratings were so terrible. Isn’t it funny that when it all comes down at the end the big winner from “Idol” will be Ryan Seacrest and not Simon Cowell?

Ryan realized it was not about him. That he could be replaced. So he diversified. It’s not his radio gig that keeps him current, but his TV production duties. You may think it’s trash, but “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” is a ratings juggernaut and couldn’t be more different from “Idol” whereas “X Factor” is essentially a clone, requiring you to split the differences between the Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync to separate it from the original.

Now that “X Factor” is fading, not only in the U.S., but the U.K., what does Simon Cowell do? He’s a one trick pony. And that pony ain’t so hot. It’s not like he’s Richard Russell, bringing to market Adele and the cavalcade of innovators at XL, Simon’s about lowest common denominator crap, and that’s harder to sell than ever. And what can he be other than a judge, a panelist on late night TV? He’s barely different from Robin Leach, now relegated to doing commercials after once giving us a peek into the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

You wanted the “Idol” paradigm to die? It did, it quit making stars, it was a flawed concept. But it was always better TV than music, peppered with drama and antagonism. But we learned by putting J. Lo and Tyler on “Idol” that musicians make lousy judges and if you won’t go negative, you’ve got lousy TV.

As for “The Voice”… It’s a gimmick. A train-wreck that was successful before they closed the door on the concept.

I just don’t get all the musician/celebrities joining up.

Britney? We all want to see if she melts down. Once. Not for an entire TV season. As for Demi Lovato… Asking us to care is like being interested in Miley Cyrus’s acting career… Huh?

You get in early and you get out quick. That’s the key to success in the entertainment business.

But these “stars” never got that memo. They’re dumb. Which is why music is a second class citizen, peopled by idiots who think exposure trumps credibility, that money is more important than music.

You’re a musician. Sing!

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