"I really don’t have a lot of talents.  I can cook, and I can fuck, and I can sing.  And I’m proud of all of them."

Bettye LaVette
"The New Yorker"
November 15, 2010

We like our rock stars honest.

And speaking of honesty, I smiled when I read the following comment from Kid Rock re Steven Tyler’s judgeship on "American Idol" in last week’s "Entertainment Weekly":

"I think it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever done in his life.  He’s a sacred American institution of rock ‘n’ roll, and he just threw it all out the window.  Just stomped on it and set it on fire.  I think whoever’s advising him, we should bring back the guillotine, or whatever they call that thing.  And if it was himself, he needs some serious counseling.  I love him to death, but I gotta speak the truth."

Is there anybody who thinks having Steven Tyler on "American Idol" is a good idea other than the producers of that show and Tyler himself?  It’s a horrible fucking idea, because it won’t save the show, because Tyler’s a rock star, not a TV star, and those are two vastly different things.  A rock star has charisma, and television eviscerates charisma.  But worse, once upon a time we believed in Tyler…and he whored himself out for the money?  Is there anybody in music who won’t sell out for a dollar?  And what’s worse is the labels, the managers and the agents are cheerleaders, egging talent to sell out so they can get paid.  Pretty ugly.  I’ve never heard of someone revering an agent, wanting to be just like an agent.  And didn’t Michael Ovitz ultimately blow himself up?  But we might forgive Tyler, if he does the proper mea culpa, whereas Ovitz never did anything to capture our hearts, it didn’t appear he had one, that he was one of those human beings who can run without blood.

Anyway, I’d like to say the article on Bettye LaVette is as good as the above quote, but it’s not.  Yet she’s quite the character, quite irascible.  She’s the anti-Bon Jovi.  Instead of being soft, with no edges, loving everybody, she’s a pain in the ass with opinions.  And isn’t that what made the legendary artists great, that they couldn’t do anything else?  You say you want to be successful, but if it doesn’t happen quick, you’re gonna go to graduate school.  Bettye LaVette didn’t even finish high school.

She’s not a fan of music.  She admits she feels like she’s 64, her partying days are behind her.  And the more I read about her in this article, the more I liked her.

And you may be a Wall Street banker, you may be rich, you might fly private, but really, does any of that matter if you’re a bad fuck?  Money’s important, but not as much as food and sex.  And if you can sing too, that’s just enough to get by.

P.S. The winner article in "The New Yorker" is the one on Lena Dunham.  So well-written you can’t wait to Google her.  Credit the writer, but kudos go to Ms. Dunham too.  Because like Ms. LaVette and Kid Rock she’s got a personality, it’s not all about what can I say to get paid.  If you’re really good, being yourself is enough to get paid.