Costco
Clean bathrooms. That’s why I’m writing this. Cleaner than my own house. So clean I’m convinced no one used the commode prior to me. There weren’t even any scratches, it’s like they installed a brand new toilet for each and every customer.
So Leo and I are rolling down the highway, after a few days of skiing the pow in Mammoth, and I get a hankering for some ice cream. If you think you can get Haagen-Dazs in Lone Pine, never mind Bishop, then you’ve never cruised 395, one of the most beautiful highways in the nation, located between the highest point in the continental U.S., Mt. Whitney, and the lowest, Death Valley. Leo suggested McDonald’s, but I wanted real ice cream, not a concoction made for the masses that looks right, but tastes wrong.
And ice cream is one category where you can demand quality without breaking the bank. Kind of like going to In N’ Out instead of Burger King, or eating store-baked chocolate chip cookies instead of Chips Ahoy. I’m willing to splurge on ice cream.
But I didn’t have to. Because we went to Costco!
That wasn’t our original plan, but after failing to find an outlet for soft serve in Mojave, Leo floated the idea. Costco was off of K Street in Lancaster, or was it J? Leo felt he could find it.
And I was up for it, because I’d had an ice cream sundae at the Toronto Costco just the week before!
On the way to the airport, Jake told me he wanted to stop, to buy chicken breasts and dog treats, and on the way out he had a hankering for a corned beef sandwich, did I want anything?
I got a hot fudge sundae with ice cream as good as Carvel for less money than I’d have spent at any dip shop, where the mix-ins might be good, but the ‘scream is so often terrible.
Lancaster isn’t pretty, and its inhabitants aren’t either. A mix of multiple ethnicities, I wondered what they thought of the umbrellas covering the tables inside the establishment. They said HEBREW NATIONAL!
Speak to any Jew. He’ll tell you these all beef hot dogs are the best. But most people can’t argue, because they’re not willing to cough up the dough for this premium product. But at Costco, a Hebrew National hot dog was $1.69! And it wasn’t the chubby mini-dog you get shrink-wrapped in the frozen foods case, it was a foot long, plump and juicy in a bun that could accommodate all the condiments laid out ballpark-style by the wall. Costco is doing more to eradicate anti-semitism than the UJA. Start with their bellies, not their brains. Once they see how good our dogs are, they won’t be able to hate us.
But I had to use the facilities. We’d been on the highway for hours. (Well, we stopped in Olancha at Gus’s for jerky, but we didn’t hit the bathrooms…) And I remembered T.O., where Jake waited while I did my business. The cleanliness of the rest room. Stunning!
And it was just as clean in Lancaster.
And the ice cream was frozen yogurt, and there was no chocolate sauce, only berries, but the concoction was delicious, and so large that when one finished, you didn’t want more, you were satiated.
And I’m thinking how great this is. How an establishment without advertising, that doesn’t bop us over the head telling us how great it is, appeals to the populace on sheer quality. And price. But unlike Wal-Mart, pays its employees a living wage, respects them and STILL makes money!
Did you read that essay by the Wharton professor delineating how advertising is failing on the Internet?
To spend money on slick ads all in an effort to entice customers who don’t care is a complete waste. As this guy says, consumers do not trust advertising, they don’t want to view advertising and they don’t need advertising. Why do you need advertising when you’ve got friends?
Your friends will give you the straight poop. Dedicated Costco shoppers salivate when they speak of their store of choice. They bring it up unsolicited, it’s a main topic of conversation for them, akin to computer-users testifying about their Macs. The everlasting love makes you want to avoid Costco and Apple at first, but then you have an experience and you’re converted.
Costco cares about its customers. It knows their needs. And it wants to deliver the very best for the very cheapest price. We’re all willing to pay the most for something great. But most people don’t want to spend upwards of twenty bucks for a CD with one good track. Nor do they want to spend fifty plus bucks to see a band with only one hit. People are willing to risk if they believe it’s a fair business proposition. Or if their friends can convince them.
I don’t need to buy in quantity. I don’t want to spend the time driving to my local Costco. But I’m finding it hard to resist. Because I want to be a member of the club, I too want to testify about my store of choice. And I want more of those berry sundaes…
