Last night I caught the Republic Tigers on Letterman.

No, I was not surfing. As a matter of fact, I was watching a recording of "The Deadliest Catch". But I went back to live TV because I got an e-mail from a friend, telling me the band was going to be on.

How RIDICULOUS!

Oh, the act was good. They played that track I wrote about, "Buildings & Mountains"… BUT WHY THE FUCK WERE THEY ON?

I’ve got YouTube. And an iPod. Even an iPod Touch that I can take to bed and dial up videos and music on over the Internet. Why in the HELL would I sit through some act I don’t care about on TELEVISION? Shit, even MTV gave up airing videos for this reason. People tune out. If you want to watch videos, you go to the Web, where they’re ON DEMAND!

Now the Republic Tigers can tell their parents and friends they were on Letterman. Whoo-hoo! This ain’t like being on Ed Sullivan in the sixties, it’s like being in the school play. Where only a captive audience, not there by choice, is in attendance…probably not even paying attention!

All exposure is not good exposure! Don’t take every gig. Don’t waste your time and money!

If the Stones ask you to open for them, and you’re a sensitive singer/songwriter, DON’T! Hell, I’d make a case you shouldn’t open for the Stones no matter WHAT your music sounds like. Their audience JUST DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT! If people even bother to come early, they’re probably not going to sit down, and if they do, they’re going to talk through your set of unfamiliar music. And believe me, at today’s inflated ticket prices, no one comes to see the opening act. That’s like buying Tiffany diamonds for the box. No, worse. Like buying beer for the plastic rings that hold the cans together!

My old friend Ron Fierstein didn’t believe in his acts opening for ANYBODY! He broke Suzanne Vega and Shawn Colvin as headliners. Sure, the audience might have been small at first, but the people CARED! They were quiet, they paid attention, they spread the word.

Now maybe it pays to get a song in a TV show or movie. Probably because the audience DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR SONG! Unless it’s absolutely horrible, and these music supervisors don’t let in anything that bad. It’s about the primary action. Maybe if your song is truly great, buzz can be generated, but I don’t even buy that… With so many songs included, in the background, and the "O.C." CANCELLED!

Don’t whine, don’t tell me you have no choice, that it’s impossible to break a band. You’ve got to start very small, and only play to those who CARE!

If you want to know what it’s like doing Letterman, taking an opening slot for a band that’s stylistically different, or a superstar, go down to the subway and busk. No, better yet, go to the library and busk. No, go out to the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND BUSK! You’re hoping that one person, doing something else, is going to stride by and think your music is so damn good, they’re going to give you pennies. Shit, maybe all these MySpace acts SHOULD busk, so they can see how few people really care.

Or, if you’re big enough, get booked at a festival. A THEME festival. Don’t book your indie rock act at Stagecoach, and don’t book your classical quartet at Bonnaroo. People like to check out new stuff at festivals. Assuming it’s of the stripe that they like.

It’s not about dunning people who don’t care into submission. It’s not about beating people over the head to pay attention. It’s about letting people come to you. Letting the music and ITS FANS generate the heat.

Stunningly, the Republic Tigers replicated "Buildings & Mountains" quite well on Letterman last night. But they looked so out of place. With white-haired comedian Dave on one side, and bald Paul on the other. To get this act, the light would have to be low. The music would have to envelop you, you’d have to feel the vibe. NO ONE can feel the vibe on a TV variety show. If you’re on late night TV, you’re doing it to tell your mother, or as a gift to your fans, who already like you, you’re not going to break through to a larger audience. That happened when we had no choice. When we used to have to tune in TV to SEE bands. Now we’ve got unlimited choice. And we don’t want to hear the unknown work of an unknown band on TV. Not with 500 channels. Only the most passive of viewers is not switching the channel, and these people are not active music buyers anyway.

There are no short cuts. When will you realize this?