I bought "Quadrophenia" the night I saw "Billy Jack". Before the mania, before the backlash, when the film’s cult was just forming and I wanted to discover its essence.

I stopped in the fall darkness at Korvette’s. Purchased six or seven records and then drove to the movie theatre in New Haven. I kept the bag of discs propped up in the front seat of my ’63 Chevy beside me. They couldn’t hit the floor. They were like children to me…

I remember buying one of those ice cream cones. You remember, with the chocolate confection sawed at the top of the yellow shell, with a piece of paper on top. I wanted to remember my youth, going to the flick on Saturday afternoon and seeing "Spartacus", when a cone like this cost ten cents.

The movie was interesting. Foremost for the fact Tom Laughlin made it himself. And when I got back to my parents’ house in Fairfield, I broke the shrinkwrap on "Quadrophenia" and looked through the extensive booklet. This was back when artists were into giving you more rather than less.

And when I got back to my dorm room in Middlebury the following evening, I dropped the needle on the first disc. And heard an ocean intro that sounded like it had been made on an ARP synthesizer. I was disappointed. I guess I wanted the "Overture" from "Tommy". My favorite Who album, if not the best. Even back in ’73, we knew "Who’s Next" was the best.

But many people now say "Quadrophenia" is their favorite.

I’ll say it’s my favorite rock movie. But favorite Who album?

Then I heard Phish’s version of "Sea and Sand" on my iPod this afternoon. This is the track that hooked me on "Quadrophenia".

Back before CDs, back before too much music on one disc, back before albums were basically filler, we played our records over and over again, waiting for a track to reveal itself. And over fifty percent through "Quadrophenia", in the second band of the second disc, I got hooked. By "Sea and Sand". This one little section:

The girl I love is a perfect dresser
Wears every fashion, gets it to a ‘t’
Heavens above, I got to match her
She knows just how she wants her man to be

Have you ever had a crush?

Oh, they truly begin in seventh grade. When your hormones have been raging for a year or two. When they thrust you in with a plethora of other kids from the town, back before junior high was replaced by middle school.

The object of your affection was exotic. She wasn’t the same girl everybody else desired. But there was a way she wore her sweater, combed her hair, turned her head that made you swoon. You thought about her walking home from school. You looked for every chance to connect, but you avoided almost all of them, feeling something akin to stage fright, you were worried you were going to blow it, say something stupid, drive her away.

You stood in front of the mirror. You looked at your zits. How could she pay attention to you? You thought about what you wore every day. You tried to make yourself desirable. But it never seemed to work. She ended up going for some dork, who wasn’t half the man you were.

Listening to Phish’s rendition this evening, I was reminded that notes make hits, but lyrics make classics. Well, the combination of the two. You could feel the angst in Pete Townshend’s music, and the lyrics contained all the anger and frustration of adolescence.

I came downstairs and fired up my PowerBook. What tracks did I have from "Quadrophenia" in my iTunes library? "Sea and Sand" was there, but "The Real Me" caught my eye.

The Who can never be the Who again because Keith Moon and the Ox are gone. Listen to "The Real Me". Entwistle is dancing ALL OVER IT! Oh, Pete slashes a guitar figure, but Entwistle is playing a bass MELODY underneath it all. It’s like Pete’s the rhythm guitarist and John’s the LEAD! It’s like while everybody is paying attention to the singer, the bass guitarist, caught in a trance, not worrying if anybody is paying attention, is creating HISTORY WITH HIS FINGERTIPS!

That’s the revelation of "Quadrophenia". John Entwistle’s playing.

Not that one wants to push Moon’s drumming aside. Did you ever see him play live? It was like there were two drummers on stage, like he was playing with eight arms. Sure, he had an outsized personality, but somehow Moon’s drumming was SUPPORTIVE! He was the coal car behind the engine, a necessary element. But his coal car threw the fuel into the boiler ALL BY ITSELF! Moon was the supporting actor who makes the movie gel. He played looking at the other three members of the band, he filled all the holes. He was why this three piece had the aural presence of an ORCHESTRA!

Can you see the real me? I’m trying so hard to reveal it. That’s why I write this shit. I crave attention. I missed out on something in my youth. Just like everybody picking up an instrument and saying LOOK AT ME! But too many of those musicians were afraid to write exactly what they felt. But not Pete Townshend. Hell, when I first listened to "The Real Me" not only had I not seen a psychiatrist, I thought therapy was BULLSHIT! Our heroes, the rockers, the musicians, were wise beyond their years. We learned from them. We expanded our minds.

And the tracks you hear most from "Quadrophenia" are "Love, Reign O’er Me" and "5:15", but the most important song on the album, the truly stellar number, is "I’m One".

I knew the track, but my sentiment was confirmed when I heard Pete’s take on "Deep End Live". But now, when I listen to the studio original, I get it!

Every year is the same
And I feel it again
I’m a loser – no chance to win
Leaves start falling
Come down is calling
Loneliness starts sinking in

Today’s pop stars are winners. Akin to head cheerleader and high school president. They’ve only known success. They’re the best-looking, and oftentimes they reinforce how fucking great they are.

Whereas our stars of yore were losers. Outsiders. Who were looking for a way to triumph.

Rock fans weren’t those playing by the rules, those winning at the traditional game, they were the outcasts, the ones who defied their parents and grew their hair long. They finally had leaders, who encased their message in wax. These musicians had the same frustrations as the audience did. That’s why they became stars. We elevated them to this exalted status because we were thrilled that they were speaking the truth, that we had someone to IDENTIFY WITH!

But I’m one
I am one
And I can see
That this is me
And I will be
You’ll all see
I’m the one

Our rock stars had something to prove. Springsteen to his father. The rest to the girls they couldn’t speak to, the teachers who said they were losers. Deep down inside, they felt they were WINNERS! And they were gonna SHOW ‘EM! That pure desire, that’s why they made it. This wasn’t about money, this wasn’t about being a star, this was about proving all those naysayers WRONG!

Where do you get
Those blue blue jeans
Faded patched secret so tight
Where do you get
That walk oh so lean
Your shoes and your shirts
All just right

Pete feels INADEQUATE! Oh, he’s speaking through a character, but it’s this gangly guy with the big nose who’s truly talking. Do you look into the mirror and think you’re ENTITLED? Then you’re not a real rock star. Great talents are plagued with self-doubt, they soldier on because there’s no other option. To accept their fate in the factory, in the cubicle, is a living death.

I got a Gibson
Without a case
But I can’t get that even tanned look on my face
Ill fitting clothes
I blend in the crowd
Fingers so clumsy
Voice too loud

The only one who says you’re great when you start out is your mother. If you’re lucky. You’ve got no support, only desire. And this desire causes you to practice. You’re not good-looking enough, you can barely talk to a stranger, you can’t pitch yourself. But your talent…that can show through. If you just spend enough time refining it, so it’s UNDENIABLE!

We listened to "Quadrophenia" and were exposed to the human condition. We didn’t need to go to a show to get it, we just needed to sit in front of the stereo, alone. This wasn’t music to dance to, to hang with your buddies with, this was like reading a book, a solo endeavor, that you TREASURED!

"Tommy" doesn’t hold up.

There’s not a better rock album than "Who’s Next".

But "Quadrophenia" is an integral part of the canon. It’s when Pete Townshend shed his skin and let his truth out. Not worried about what anybody else thought.

Without a hit single, without a tour, there was little scrutiny. "Quadrophenia" was not "Sgt. Pepper", wafting out of every window during the season. Hell, windows are closed in the late fall, when "Quadrophenia" was released.

It’s the broad works that are trumpeted, that get the accolades. But it’s the personal works that touch us, that stick with us.

I was reminded when I heard a COVER version of "Sea and Sand". And I marveled that the members of Phish, barely alive when "Quadrophenia" was originally released, recognized its greatness. Unexpurgated truth, delivered by inspired musicians, lives on. Forever.