Once again, David Geffen has eclipsed the fame of the talent he midwived into the public consciousness.  Maybe because he’s more of a rock star than all of the singers, songwriters, movie directors and screenwriters he’s given a helping hand to.  This guy made all the money himself, his way, and he’s beholden to no one.  THAT’S a rock star.  Not some chump who does what his handlers tell him to, never mind sells his soul to Madison Avenue.

David Geffen started out with very little.  His mother made bras and his father barely worked.  He wanted to make something of himself.  And how did he do this?  By LYING!

Yes, he said he graduated from UCLA so he could get a talent agency job, but it was a fabrication.  But what do you learn in school anyway?  The street is where lessons come to life.  Doubt me?  Then ask for financial advice from a doctor.  Or relationship insight from a corporate lawyer.  Whereas David Geffen, the ultimate confidante, is skilled in both of these spheres, and is legendary for prescient, reasonable advice with regard thereto.  But that’s a lonely life, always serving others.

Really.  If you’ve got an ego, it’s hard to remain the faceless man behind the star, the little woman behind the successful man.  Take a look at Clive Davis, for example.  He’d have you believing there wouldn’t BE a record business without him.  Casual music fans might actually think he writes and produces the music himself!

But Mr. Davis plays on a small stage.  And his efforts have no lasting appeal.  Whitney Houston?  Her records have about as much of a chance of being remembered a hundred years from now as those of the 1910 Fruitgum Company.

Mr. Geffen’s charges have a better chance at longevity than those of Mr. Davis’.  They probably WILL be playing Eagles songs in the twenty second century.

But Mr. Geffen won’t be around to hear them.  No, David Geffen isn’t about legacy, but now.  He wants a hand in the inner workings of SOCIETY today.  Art is one thing.  Real estate another.  But the big kahuna for those wanting to leave their imprint is politics.  David Geffen wanted to play in the political world.

They say that politics is show business for ugly people.  And it is.  But if you’re ugly, you have to develop all your other talents, your skills, in order to triumph.  In other words, politicians are more duplicitous, and sleazier, than ANY entertainer, never mind the kingmakers who put them in the public eye.  And politicians truly answer to the public.  There are elections.  If the next Justin Timberlake CD fails, Sony BMG does not go out of business.  Get bounced from your Senate seat, and suddenly you’re irrelevant, like Tom Daschle.

Now if Geffen had a sense of history he’d see that not only the Allman Brothers, but their manager Phil Walden was forgotten by Jimmy Carter once he took office.  They were a means to an end.  A necessary means.  One can argue strongly that without the help of these two entities, Carter’s Presidential campaign would not have gotten off the ground.  But once you’re President, do you want to hang out with drug-addicted musicians?  Never mind their shady manager?

But Geffen believed he was different.  He was no cracker from the south.  He was brilliant.  And in the end, he got his way.  So when David Geffen threw his weight behind the Clinton campaign, he felt he’d ride the Arkansan’s victory all the way from Malibu to D.C.  And he did.  But in a very minor way.  He got to sleep in the White House.  But David Geffen, for all his money, for all his support, got almost nothing.  He got the President’s ear, but he received no power.  He was a Friend Of Bill.  And one can argue that David Geffen has no friends, he’s not about friends, he’s about POWER!

So David Geffen seethed.  Privately.  Waiting for his chance to pounce again.  And last week he got it.

I’m not sure if David Geffen has derailed Hillary Clinton’s Presidential campaign.  I mean really, who reads the "New York Times"?  The country only cares about Anna Nicole Smith, all the time.  But he truly has created the political brouhaha of the year.  Within which Maureen Dowd was complicit.

Maureen Dowd.  She knocks one out of the park every once in a while.  But she loves to go girly, speaking of her friends and clothing.  But worse, she likes to do an east coast take on west coast business.  Yes, Maureen Dowd fancies herself a TV authority.  She comes out to Pasadena for the introduction of new shows.  She figures since she watches TV, she’s an expert!

Well, five year olds watch TV, are THEY experts?

In other words, Maureen Dowd doesn’t know how the game is played, she’s got no EXPERTISE!  She gave David Geffen an open forum, not realizing where he was coming from and what he wanted to accomplish.  David Geffen charmed and manipulated Maureen Dowd and she had NO IDEA!  She just thought she had a scoop, and was thrilled to evidence her access.

They don’t give you access unless they want something.  That’s Entertainment Business 101.  They’re not really your friend, they’re not doing you a favor, they’re serving THEIR OWN NEEDS!

Why in hell was Maureen Dowd unaware of Geffen’s goals?  Which were not so much about the political landscape but RETRIBUTION!  For the Clintons’, pardon my French, fucking him in the ass.

Oh, don’t make a gay joke.  Nobody wants to get laid by anybody not of their choosing, and they don’t want the act to take place unless they’ve given their permission.  The Clintons screwed David Geffen just like they screwed a million people on the way to the top.  Just like Madonna screwed so many people, literally and figuratively, on her way to the top.  JUST LIKE DAVID GEFFEN SCREWED SO MANY PEOPLE ON HIS WAY TO THE TOP!

But despite all appearances, David Geffen never wanted to retire.  He always wanted to have a hand in the game.  He kept up relationships.  NO ONE had fucked him this badly since Universal sold out to Matsushita and kept him out of the loop.  You don’t fuck with David Geffen.  If you don’t know this, you just don’t know the man.  He’s a kingmaker, you need his permission, or else you incur his wrath.  And with his network of friends, and favors owed, he can block your progress, your career, your life, in a way that’s WORSE than Hollywood legend.

But the Clintons didn’t care.  Politics is a blood sport.  It’s about the end result.  Geffen lorded nothing over them in the future, so they didn’t have to deliver for him after Bill got elected the second time.  Oh, they paid lip service to David, but that’s all.  So Geffen FUMED!

But is this story in the media?  Do you read this story in the "New York Times"?  See it analyzed on TV?  OF COURSE NOT!  Because those reporting are just not savvy enough, nor informed enough, to know what’s really going on.  They pontificate, but with no knowledge of history.  And everything they know about David Geffen they read, they don’t share mutual friends, they don’t call up Irving Azoff for insight, WHICH IRVING WON’T GIVE THEM ANYWAY!

Chalk one up for David Geffen.  He’s back.

Oh, Clive Calder might have eclipsed his success in the record business.  And Paramount may own DreamWorks.  But it was never about the business entities, but HIM!  Geffen has manipulated the press and they don’t even realize it!

But can Geffen beat the Clintons?

Highly doubtful.  Because although Hillary can come across as brusque, Bill is a charmer whose skills trump Geffen’s.  And they’re playing in their arena, not David’s.  It’s politics.  And no matter how well you read the papers, you can’t make up for experience.  And they’ve got it, not Barack Obama.  Furthermore, they’re every bit as smart as Geffen, and educated to boot.

Yes, it’s a war between the east coast intellectuals and the west coast entertainment nabobs.  And it’s being fought on the home field of the east coasters.  Can Geffen win?  Of course not.  Can he create enough trouble, enough diversion, to impact the outcome?

Well, a streaker never changed the outcome of a football game.