I hate Windows.

My antivirus subscription expired on one of my Windows laptops, and rather than pop fifty bucks for a new subscription, I decided to fire up my other machine, and download Google Desktop, with the six month free subscription to Norton.

There went the evening.  And a good chunk of this afternoon too.

I had to update the update program.  And then download sixty security patches.  And then it took an hour to download Service Pack 2.  Shit, I installed a whole new OPERATING SYSTEM on my Mac in twenty minutes.

And then, after rebooting, I had no Internet access.  Oh, the icon in the tray said I was connected, I just couldn’t surf the Web.

I thought of calling my buddy, who swears by Windows, but it was almost eleven p.m., so I sat there and tried to figure it out.

For the first time ever I followed the instructions on the 404 error page.

That didn’t work.

I opened the Control Panel, I tried to establish a new connection.  But it just said the old one was working fine.  Finally, results came up in Explorer.  How and why, I can’t tell you.

And this afternoon, after finally getting the machine up to date, I got ready to install the Sonos software.  But then I remembered how it was next to impossible the last time, because of my firewall.

So I decided to use my Mac.  Even though I’d been uptight about punching a hole in ITS firewall.

Well, it turns out you don’t have to do this.  Not that I could get the system to work anyway.  Finally, I had to call tech support.  Turns out there’s a known glitch, when it comes to adding music libraries on a Mac.  Easily solved, but not without a wizard on the other end of the phone.

But then…

I get this shit for free.  If you’re counting your pennies, this is not for you.  But if you’ve got disposable income and you don’t have a Sonos system…then you just must not know what it is.

Sonos throws your music library to any stereo in the house.  Oh, you’ve got to get these Zone Players, but once you’ve ponied up, it’s seamless.

But the reason I’m writing this, the reason I got my Sonos up and running today, after it went blank after a power failure and my Windows laptop could no longer see the system, is because of the new Rhapsody integration.

Oh, there used to be Rhapsody integration, but you needed Windows, and I don’t keep a Windows laptop running.  AND, whenever I did fire up the system, Rhapsody dropped out and I’d have to relaunch the program.  Which kind of defeats the purpose.

But Thursday Sonos announced a breakthrough.  Now the system gets the Rhapsody service STRAIGHT FROM THE PIPE!  You have to set the system up ONCE via computer, but thereafter the machine is SUPERFLUOUS!  It’s like having two and a half million songs at your FINGERTIPS!

Now this diatribe would have been over the top if my Internet connection hadn’t been on the fritz tonight.  Oh, I pay extra, for a screaming connection, but the vagaries of the system, the gremlins, came to haunt me.  So I got the dreaded dropouts.  Then again, I couldn’t surf the Web on my laptop either.

But unlike before, when service came back up, I was reconnected, I didn’t have to get up and reboot the program on my PC, which isn’t even turned on.

But before the intermittent intermissions (within which I played tracks from my iTunes library), I had the kind of shiteating grin a teenager wears from ear to ear.

You see I was sitting on the toilet bringing up the greatest hits of my life.

I dialed up Ry Cooder’s "Into The Purple Valley" on the hand-held controller and pushed the button to hear "Billy The Kid".  Then I thought of "Broken Arrow", the legendary Robbie Robertson track.  And found they had "Storyville", so I played its opening cut, "Night Parade".  It was 1991 all over again.

I had the history of recorded music at my fingertips.  It was like being in an indie record store and being able to hear EVERYTHING!  I was feeding my addiction, and I wasn’t even leaving the house!

Oh, there’s a picture of the album cover in the controller window.  And the name of the track and album and the timing…RIGHT IN MY HAND!

The service just dropped out again.  If I were paying for this shit, if I weren’t rich, I’d be pissed.  You need a catalogue of MP3s as backup.  But if you do have the dough, even if you’re not an early adopter, you’ve GOT TO HAVE THIS!

I played "Heavenly Fire" by Souther, Hillman, Furay.

Granted, I’ve got all these cuts in my iTunes library, but not this portability.  Hell, an Airport Express doesn’t deliver this.  You feel like the music is in your HAND!

I’ve spent eons downloading, STEALING, so much of this stuff.  But now all you have to do is lay down ten bucks a month, and you can hear it EVERYWHERE!

Well, not everything…  Then again, who knew Jon Pousette-Dart had a new album?