Can’t somebody sue somebody?  Maybe audience members?  Like those "American Idol" fans wanting their money back from Clay Aiken for being gay?

"Good Times Roll" is one of the best album-openers of all time.  Better than the tracks opening most Stones albums, and they perfected the paradigm.  First it sounded a bit off, but then on subsequent listenings you got into the synthetic drums, the little flourishes, you wanted to hear it AGAIN AND AGAIN!  Still brings a smile to my face every time I hear it.

And the Cars’ debut is their best work.  Oh, they did that album with Mutt Lange, "Heartbeat City", but although it had hits and sold a zillion copies, it was more about him than them.  It’s the debut that counts.

The cover was awful.  In a day when established acts sported serious photos and designs on their albums and the English new wave was full of attitude.  Then again, the Cars were AMERICAN!  And not exactly punk like the Ramones.  They were just a bit different.  Taking traditional forms and pushing them.

In an era when corporate rock was crumbling but still ruled the Cars came in to eclipse the old bands on car radios, at frat parties, instantly the Boston act became part of the fabric of society.  Oh, the hit was "Just What I Needed".  But even track 8, deep in the album, "Bye Bye Love" was infectious.  And "Moving In Stereo" was just experimental enough, just out there enough, for us to believe the band wasn’t playing it safe, but testing the limits, winking at us with their pop material.

"Candy-O" was a mediocre remake, with the lovable "Dangerous Type", and then one had to give up.  "Panorama" sucked and "Shake It Up" had the hit but not much else.  "Heartbeat City" allowed them to play in the new MTV era, but then it was done.  The Cars were no longer new, but established.  And not being able to test the limits and go forward, they ran out of gas.

One would have expected Ric Ocasek to break through with a solo career.  But all Ric was too much of a grating thing.  He needed Ben Orr to balance him, or at least inspire him to write better material.  As for the rest of the players…well, it was a band, but they didn’t appear to be primary elements, they were part of the mix, and without their leader, they were done.  Another band bites the dust.  Leaving our memories intact.

But then we get this abomination of a reformation.

Ric, like Robbie Robertson before him, is not participating in the dash for cash.  One hopes, like Roger Waters, he’ll ultimately reconsider, but for now, the KEY element of the Cars reunion is absent.  But it’s WORSE!  The other integral element, Ben Orr’s voice…well, that ain’t NEVER coming back, because Ben is DEAD!  But instead of getting some faceless name to play their parts, they got Todd Rundgren.  Who is more talented and whose career has had more impact than seemingly every band from Boston ever other than Aerosmith.  It’s like watching Willie Mays play AAA ball.  Or Pete Rose sign autographs in Vegas.  Yes, Todd needs the money.  Can’t we take up a collection?  Can’t we sue someone for ripping him off?  Where did all the money from producing "We’re An American Band" GO?

And Todd is a fearless mimic.  He proved his chops on his own album "Faithful".  But that was an artistic experiment.  This is a mercenary effort.  In the public eye.  As good an imitator as he is, watching Todd sing Ric Ocasek’s part on last night’s Leno could only make one wince.  As for the rest of the band, WHO CARES!

It was like Lou Reed fronting INXS.  It made one wish every rocker died at age forty, certainly FIFTY, before they lost all their charisma, before they were revealed to be human, before bad business decisions forced them to do shit they’d NEVER have done in their twenties.

This is a fucked up business.  Couldn’t SOMEONE say no?  The agent?  The talent buyer?  Does everybody’s legacy have to be dragged through the mud, does the audience no longer count, is everything just grist for the mill, part of the flat affect of America?