Sheryl Crow Dell Commercial

This is why I don’t watch television.  It’s evidence of a culture so into
fame and bucks that my values of honesty and integrity appear to be
worthless chump change.

Who do we blame for this?  Sheryl, Jimmy or Scooter?

Can’t be Scooter.  He’s just not that sharp.  Can’t imagine Scooter even
getting Michael Dell on the telephone.  Hell, he’d have to camp out in front of
the building for a month just to get an audience.

No, this has the stamp of Jimmy Iovine all over it.  And you know Sheryl
approved it.  There’s NOTHING this woman will say no to.  Not a gig, not an
endorsement, she’s more addicted to the public eye than the Simpson girls. 
To think that she was once a credible artist is a head-spinner. 
How did she get so fucking WARPED?

Dell is not cool.  Not in any way.  Dell is about as cool as Hyundai.  A rock
bottom price for something functional.  There’s no design innovation, just
boring boxes.  There’s no technical innovation, god they piggyback on Microsoft,
the inept lumbering giant that ultimately makes the computers Dell purveys
unusable because of adware, viruses and spyware.  God, if Bin Laden bought time
on network TV would Sheryl Crow agree to appear in HIS commercials?  Think of
it.  We’re HUMANIZING the Taliban.  My participation illustrates they’ve got a
heart.  We have to play along with the enemy instead of constantly labeling

I won’t exactly say Dell is the enemy, but the company is as sexy as a
urinal.  Give U2 props, at least the iPod is cool.  Even though they’re desperate
and counseled by Jimmy Iovine too.  But DELL??

What exactly are you saying here Sheryl, how exactly are we supposed to
interpret this appearance?  I’m over forty and nobody will play my music so I have
to resort to this cheap shot?  God, the paradigm was established by Sting, but
until they cheapened the brand with those lame Jaguar X-types that are really
Fords Jaguar was COOL!  Who wouldn’t want to own a Jaguar?  God, did that
company ever run an ad featuring a doofus saying "Dude, you’re getting a JAGUAR??"

I’m not a big fan of "Tuesday Night Music Club" but I thought "The Globe
Sessions" was one of the best albums of the year.  And as recently as 2000, she
was playing the heartfelt "Safe and Sound".

But heartfelt works no more.  Sheryl had to get a facelift, to soften her
image, she can’t be a blues mama like Bonnie Raitt.  She resorted to cutting
ditties like "Soak Up The Sun" instead of meaningful music.  Is that how far we’ve
come?  That it’s ONLY about fame?  ONLY about being in the public eye?  ONLY
about money?

I’m close enough to know that money and fame don’t make a life.  That being
in the public eye doesn’t mean you’re happy, not that they’re mutually
exclusive, then again, pound for pound, I’ve found celebrities to be LESS happy than the hoi polloi.

That’s what Sheryl Crow has become.  A celebrity.  She USED to be a musician.
But that wasn’t good enough for her.

How in the hell did a music teacher from Missouri end up being a poster girl
for American consumerism?  Is Sheryl really starring in a real life "What
Makes Sammy Run"?

As for Jimmy Iovine…

We’re supposed to revere you because you can broker a deal like this? 
Because you can make money?  God, maybe like Chuck Colson you should see the error of your ways and dedicate your life to religion, to HELPING people.

That’s what’s wrong with America.  Adults playing a boys game.  Participating
in a competition wherein he who dies with the most toys win.  Immaturity on

This business was built on artists exhibiting honest values.  The PUBLIC
resonating with honest values.

A person watching this Sheryl Crow ad immediately thinks of the "W" word. 
That she did it for the money and the exposure.

When is the entertainment business going to wake up and realize the audience
is SOPHISTICATED?  That it knows the GAME?

Meanwhile, the Media PC Sheryl is hawking…  An overpriced, useless piece of
shit.  About as significant in the marketplace as Microsoft Plays For Sure
subscription MP3 players.

But that doesn’t matter.

What only matters is that Sheryl Crow remain famous.  And RICH!

Furthermore, instead of focusing on marketing opportunities, she should have
written a better song.  That’s what we’re selling, music, right?

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