They’re selling CDs at Whole Foods.

I stopped by yesterday to get some provisions to hold me over before we go to Vail.  I wanted to partake from the raw bar, but I never know how much to buy.  I HATE being limited with food.  To be savoring mussels or squid and run out makes me feel like a poor soul living a less than full life.  But, if I bought too much, what was I going to do with the extra?  And I come from the kind of background where it’s illegal to throw out food.

So I purchased some of the usual suspects.  A Border Girls beef brisket burrito.  Some smoked salmon.  Some Zone bars.

And sauntered up to the cash register.  Where I was confronted with four CDs.  One by Michael Buble.  Two I can’t remember right now.  And a greatest hits collection by Crosby, Stills & Nash I’d never seen before.  I had to remove it from the rack, hold it in my hand, the way I used to look through and hold the new releases at the record store.

But I don’t go to the record store anymore.

I don’t understand the record store.

The prices are best at Best Buy, and that’s not a record store.  They’re catering to the people I don’t respect, those buying the hits.

And the indie stores are like museums.  Relics from the seventies.  Usually run by people with long hair.  I spent half my life in record stores back when, but I don’t want to get back together with my old girlfriends either.  It’s just creepy.  Just because it was happening there a long time ago doesn’t mean it is NOW!

I’ll admit something to you.  The CD still rules.

I run into people all the time who tell me that people are still buying discs in the heartland.  I was just IN the heartland.  THEY’RE RIGHT!  Leave L.A. and not everybody is sporting white earphones.  But it’s not because they don’t want to, they just haven’t gotten the message.  It hasn’t been sold properly.  Hasn’t been sold by the labels.

I thought it would be hard for a baby boomer to resist buying this CSN CD.  Compared to the price of the food, it was almost CHEAP!  Well, not exactly, but if you’re looking at the prices, you shouldn’t be shopping at Whole Foods.

But how is it that Starbucks and Whole Foods are the new record stores?  On one hand they’re appealing to people who’ve REJECTED record stores.  I mean if I don’t go in them anymore, how about my adult contemporaries?  And then there’s the limited selection.  Sell anything and your boss will tell you to offer only TWO alternatives.  That if you show somebody multiple items they tend not to buy.  And, of course, oldsters still believe in the CD.

But I scratch my head.  If you buy a CD, you’re not hip.  And believe me, the one thing the customers of Starbucks and Whole Foods want to be is hip.  MAYBE if Starbucks opened up a downloading station, where you could just plug in your iPod and get the CD at a discount, people would partake just to BE cool.  Imagine it.  Everybody would show up at Starbucks with their iPod, as a badge of honor.  They’d b.s. like insiders, like Benz drivers, as they waited in line to fill up.  And then they’d tell all their buds that they downloaded an album at the coffee emporium.

But to provide something like this would be to invest in the future.  And, although they don’t want to go out of business, the labels are not INVESTING in the future.

When The Levee Breaks
If it keeps on rainin’, levee’s going to break

What song would you leave off Led Zeppelin IV.

Let’s say you’re ripping the CD, and you only have room for a few tracks.  Which ones would you not bother to convert?

I know it’s got fans, but I’m gonna discard "Four Sticks" first.

And then "Black Dog" and "Rock and Roll".  I respect both of them, but never loved them.  They’re energetic, but generic.  They get you going but they don’t throw you into ecstasy.

Same deal with "Misty Mountain Hop".  Certainly more innovative, but not legendary.  This is the kind of stuff, like the above three cuts, that CASUAL fans enjoy.

And I’m gonna leave off "Stairway To Heaven".  I’ve just heard it too much.  And in some way it’s obvious.  They KNEW they were creating an anthem, however dark and slow it might be.

But I’m NEVER gonna discard "The Battle Of Evermore".  I would never want to have to defend it as the best cut on IV, but it’s by far my favorite.  It’s so OTHERWORLDLY!  Nobody on MTV would cut this.  And when Sandy Denny and Robert twin wail your jaw drops, as your head furiously nods to the beat.  They’re pressing the limit.  THIS is the kind of music that made us fans.  Not the stuff on the hit parade.  Even guys in Sweden can write hits, but they can’t write "The Battle Of Evermore".  You’ve got to be a real musician, someone creative, a VISIONARY, to come up with "The Battle Of Evermore".

And I’m gonna include "Going To California".  If you immigrated here, you’d get it.  I followed my dream.  It was all it was cracked up to be.  The fact that you don’t get L.A., the whole Golden State, the fact that it’s not like the east coast, not like other cities, is EXACTLY the reason I love it.

But, I’m also gonna include "When The Levee Breaks".

If only today’s metal musicians could cut something as heavy as "When The Levee Breaks".  Oh, they play their guitars furiously, they SCREAM, but it doesn’t translate.  It doesn’t penetrate you, it doesn’t radiate.  Whereas "When The Levee Breaks", a slow pounding song, immediately gets under your skin and wafts over the complete landscape.

If you had to boil it down to one element, it’s John Bonham’s drums.  Listening to this song one can understand why the band had to call it quits when he died.  It’s kind of like an ocean liner without a hull.  A cruise ship.  You can have all the officers, all the restaurants, all the entertainment, but if you don’t have a rock solid hull, the whole thing doesn’t float.  But Bonzo does more than support, he DRIVES!  His drums sound like a pile driver, like the blue collar worker none of the band members wanted to be working all day long.  Tired, but still needing to break rocks.

And from there…

God, there’s Robert’s vocal.  His harmonica work.

And the sound of Jimmy’s guitar.  And the changes that develop.  The song is just slogging along, and then there’s this hook.

This is stuff that is the ANTITHESIS of hit material, and that’s why it IS a hit!  Not a single, but a song you want to play again and again and again.

Which is why I downloaded the live version of "When The Levee Breaks" by Robert Plant & The Strange Sensation from the iTunes Music Store.

Oh, don’t worry.  I didn’t pay for it.  I’ve got credits.

But I never use them.  I’m waiting for something I just can’t find P2P.  But I played the thirty second excerpt and had to partake.  It’s like having your dick two inches from the vagina.  You’ve GOT to go in.

And this take doesn’t have Bonzo.  And it doesn’t have Jimmy.

But it has Robert.

And Bonzo is dead.  And Jimmy hasn’t done anything new, anything innovative, in decades.  God, doing Kashmir with Puffy?  Going on the road and playing Zeppelin classics with the third-rate Black Crowes?

But Robert.  Who has allowed himself to age, who has not had plastic surgery, who has resisted casting himself as a legend like Michael Jackson and is walking the earth like a mere mortal…Robert’s still got it.

He’s not wailing like he did in the original.  It’s a more nuanced performance.  One of a more experienced man.  Who doesn’t have to bat the chicks over the head but can get in their pants anyway.  Just by looking them in the eye, by being subtle, by being himself.

See The Sun
Come on take my hand
We’re going for a walk, I know you can
You can wear anything as long as it’s not black
Please don’t mourn forever
She’s not coming back

They never do.  That’s the strange thing.  When they’re done with you accept it.  If you will them back, if they come back with their tail between their legs, it will never work.  What will be keeping you together is desperation.

I’m not talking about a fight.  I’m talking what happens after a BUNCH of fights.  Finally, in the middle of the night, one partner calls it quits.  Says not only that he can’t do it anymore, but reviews the whole relationship.  Says why it’s done.

You could foresee it.  You did everything in your power to prevent it from happening, from hearing these words, but to no avail.

Oh, OF COURSE they regret their decision.  But something has changed in their heart.  They might come by, even fuck you, but they’ve moved on.  The more you beg, the more you mope, the less chance you’ll get what you’re looking for, which is having it the way it used to be.  But, if you can mourn, if you can get to the other side, then you get perspective.  You see their flaws, how they weren’t right for you anyway.

These are the kinds of concepts that appear in Dido’s music.  Which is why I love her.  Which is why I play her.

I don’t think I’ll ever get in her pants.  And I’m savvy enough to know that famous people, people you’ve never met, never fit the construct you have of them in your head.  But that’s not their job, to be in real life who you want them to be.  It’s about creating your own mental picture, based on the data they give you, that’s what makes you fall in love with them.

It’s not about appearing in the tabloids.  It’s not about what they do day by day.  It’s about their MUSIC!  The songs and the album cover are enough for you to establish a complete picture.

Dido is me.  Someone who is thinking about all interactions.  Someone who’s analyzing in a way that everybody hates.  What do they tell you?  Forward?  Get on with it?  I realize that’s the sentiment of "See The Sun"…but not really.  Here she’s lending a helping hand.  To someone who’s stuck.  She’s not chastising him, not castigating him, but trying to prod him just a bit, trying to impart enough wisdom to get him moving again.

Shine
Give me a word
Give me a sign
Show me where to come
Tell me what will I find

It’s hard to get excited about music today.  It’s just not purveyed in a palatable way.  You’ve got the evanescent Top Forty/tabloid fodder and then you’ve got the hipper than thou pitchforkmedia crowd, that tells you you’re just too stupid and out of it to know what’s going on.

I don’t like being excluded.  I don’t like being unhip.  I want to feel plugged in.  But I just don’t.  And I know all the movers and shakers, I get anything I want for free.

Used to be music was an inclusive endeavor.  We were in it together.  There weren’t rival camps telling us we didn’t get it.  That we would never get it.  It wasn’t purely about the bucks.

The whole country has gotten coarser.  We used to depend on music to soften things up.  I yearn for those days.

I want a rallying place.  Somewhere I can go where there are other people who feel like I do.

I don’t drink coffee.  And I don’t buy CDs.

I can barely fall asleep as it is.  To add that much caffeine to my body would have me spinning off into the universe.  A CD just isn’t a vinyl record.  It’s small and creepy.  Already antiquated.  I only want the file.

I know this is where it’s going.  But rather than invest in where it’s going we’ve got the powers-that-be trying to corral everybody into the past.

We’ve got an adversarial relationship.  How is it that Andy Lack, David Munns and Zach Horowitz are AGAINST their customer, HATE their customer.  Used to be the coolest thing was to make and sell music.  Now it’s a laughable profession inhabited by middle-aged pricks inured to their lifestyle.

Today Apple introduced the Mighty Mouse.  They responded to their critics.  Who complained about the lack of a scroll wheel and an extra button.  They TRUMPED expectations.  When was the last time the music business trumped expectations?

I think the iTunes Music Store is bullshit.  Pay the price of a CD for less.  Furthermore, sale by single is economic death.  The label model only works if you sell a bundle.

But the iTunes Music Store is selling the one thing that file-traders salivate over, that have them dedicating hours to P2P, that’s rarities, exclusives.

That’s what this business was built upon.  Owning a copy of "Hey, Hey What Can I Do".  But somewhere along the line greed triumphed over creativity and all the blood was sucked out.

Despite being a lame economic model, the iTunes Music Store is cool.  It’s the new record store.  It’s got everything the old record stores used to have, and more.  Stuff the indie stores are lacking.

Go to the homepage, click on "Back To School Shuffle".  They’re SUGGESTING music.

But what made me cough up some of my credits was the exclusives.  Stuff you couldn’t buy on CD.  Stuff like Robert Plant’s version of "When The Levee Breaks" and Dido’s "See The Sun" and Collective Soul’s "Shine".  I hated "Shine" when it came out.  But this acoustic version kills.

None of this product, none of these songs, are being hyped by the labels.  Because they’re ignorant.  They’re going after the big bucks.  They don’t care about cool.  And they don’t want Apple to have too much power.

But it’s THIS stuff that built the business.  Not stuff shoved down people’s throats but rarities, oddities, that you could tell your friends about, share with them.

Not that you can share anything from the iTunes Music Store.  Imagine that.  The labels CUTTING OFF their lifeblood.  It’s only by sharing amongst friends that you create the kind of culture that supports a band.

There should be ads trumpeting the availability of iTunes rarities and exclusives.  THIS is where the future of the business is.

Labels should create a promotional page.  Where they give this stuff away for free.  Make a fan and he’ll buy an album, more, in whatever form.

I want to be a member of the club.  But you make it hard when I can only hear a thirty second snippet before I lay down my money.

And I want to lay down my money.  I want to give you my money.  You’ve got what I want.  What gets me off.

You’ve just got to let me and everybody else know about it.  Let us know we’re important, that we count, that you’re doing us a favor, turning us on to this stuff.

Buy some of these tracks.  Invest a buck or two.

And then you’ll know why I love P2P.  I’ve got THOUSANDS of tracks like this.

This is what will sustain this business.  The availability of the culture to the audience.

The major label ethic is anathema to growth.  And that’s why revenues are down.  If labels only opened up to the new world, stopped lamenting the death of the CD and invested in new ways to truly satiate customers, THEN their business would grow.

These iTunes exclusives are just a taste.  Of what could be.