I can’t remember a thing Hillary Clinton said.

We’ve seen this movie before, when Arnold Schwarzenegger ran against Gray Davis, the lovable Terminator/Twin against the career politician/policy wonk. It was no contest, Arnold won.

And we went on a misadventure wherein California’s steam was picked up by Texas, because it turns out a celebrity debater might not be a good politician.

But don’t tell the public that.

Hillary is inauthentic. She’s been scrutinized so long that she’s become gun-shy. She over-prepares and thinks with her head not her heart and the truth is we’re all human beings and we relate most to those who evidence their humanity.

Hillary was a smiling robot, I thought she was gonna recite the 39 Steps.

But the Donald…

He was not what he was supposed to be, a bloviating buffoon who was going to make ill-tempered comments about his opponent. We can debate whether he appeared Presidential, but he certainly appeared reasonable.

Unless you’re a Hillary supporter.

This is a game folks. Take off your blinders, cast aside your elite degree and get into the pit and try to see what’s truly going on.

Donald Trump is telling people things are bad and he’s gonna make them better, that he cares about you.

And how does he do this?

THROUGH EXAMPLES!

There was one personal story after another, about a friend, a business colleague, a reporter, Trump seemed like a real person living in the real world.

Hillary looked like someone who lived in a bunker, surrounded by handlers, who only deigned to come out because the nation required it.

I knew Hillary was in trouble from the beginning. When she started off in a measured tone, sans emotion, and then refused to bite back at the Donald.

He was leaving himself wide open. She could have gone on the attack.

But she was not employing a rope-a-dope strategy. She never barked back, she never went for the jugular, she just kept repeating her talking points over and over and over again. It made me wish she’d done NO preparation. This debate is not an academic exercise scored by professionals, no, this is a raucous fracas scored by the public and Trump won. Because he played his game. One hiding in plain sight that no one in Clinton’s camp seemed to be aware of. He walked all over his Republican competitors and now it appears he might walk over Hillary Clinton too.

Authenticity wins in the end. Relatability. We don’t want to know how the sausage is made, just if it tastes good. And if you give us a free beer we’ll let you screw us, it’s the American Way. Give in on the small stuff and pull the wool over our eyes on the big stuff. That’s how Trump got to where he is.

Trump said America is losing and he’s a businessman who can get better deals which will aid all Americans. He said jobs were flowing across our borders and Hillary…

Didn’t respond.

Trump left himself wide open. Why did the corporations leave? How many really did? At first he said hundreds, then he said THOUSANDS! And Hillary recited her plan, boilerplate that had my eyes rolling into the back of my head.

Over and over and over again, Trump made inane, inaccurate statements and rather than delve into them, Hillary whipped out wonkish statements about how the world really works and said she’s got experience and this is her plan.

OF COURSE SHE’S GOT THE EXPERIENCE! OF COURSE SHE’D BE A BETTER PRESIDENT! BUT FIRST SHE’S GOT TO WIN!

But she can’t.

She’s like an aging rocker who thinks he can still have hits in a world dominated by Kanye. A complainer with a modicum of talent who knows it’s about being in the public eye each and every day, about owning the dialogue, about biting back at the naysayers. Clinton’s playing by nineties rules. It’s like she still hasn’t gotten over Bill losing the governorship of Arkansas.

Which is why America is the story of the young eating the old. The know-nothings who don’t know any better. Experience kills. Ideas and motivation. Look at the music industry. Techies not only decimated it, they ended up owning it. Along with the taxi industry and businesses that could not previously be fathomed.

Hillary’s out of touch. She’s so focus-grouped that she’s lost her identity.

No, you didn’t want to sit home and bake cookies. OWN IT!

The hard core Trump supporters ARE deplorables. You speak the truth and then back away, letting the press have a field day, owning the story to your detriment.

The majority of our nation is poorly educated, can’t analyze a situation and can’t separate fact from fiction. You wonder why Trump’s a contender? They’d rather see theatre than truth. Trump gives them “Star Wars,” Hillary gives them “Bambi.”

You can’t let your competitors define you.

She smiled and was even-handed so she wouldn’t appear the shark she’s been labeled.

But what helped the African-Americans gain traction and pride? Owning the “N” word. Pushing back. And if you don’t think the blacks own youth culture you don’t have a Snapchat account, you’re probably on Facebook posting pictures of your high school reunion.

The final chapter has not been written. But today the polls have Trump about even. In order for Hillary to win, she must appeal to the undecided, of which there are very few. Forget you, forget me, we’ve already made up our minds. But, if for some reason you’re unsure…

Today Trump’s offense ran right through Hillary’s defense.

Despite the brouhaha about Matt Lauer letting him slide, Trump ran right over Lester Holt too.

If Hillary’s such a fighter, she needs to PUNCH!

And only losers believe the rules apply in a knife fight.

Sending us to your website to check facts, to read about Donald’s lies?

We’re right in front of you, can’t you close us here?

If Hillary were an act, she would not get a deal. Like a Berklee graduate who knows all the notes she’d be trumped by Lil Yachty.

I want Hillary Clinton to run my government.

But she’s got no idea about show business.

And never forget, politics is show business for ugly people.

And that applies to you too Donald.