You can’t, because everybody believes they’re right.

I used to answer my e-mail, until I realized that it had little to do with me, other than to tear me down and make me feel inadequate. And if you don’t think I’m nervous before I hit send, that I don’t do my best to make sure I don’t commit any faux pas, write down any inaccuracies, you don’t know me in real life. In other words, the Confidence Fairy did not fill up my tank and make me invulnerable to feedback.

And I do make mistakes. And I wince when e-mail comes in denoting that.

But most of the e-mail I get is to demonstrate that the writer is superior to me. They write in telling me about stuff that is contained in the missive, if only they read that far. They tell me I made mistakes that I didn’t. They inform me I left out their favorite, and I’m an ignorant slut, just like Jane.

But god forbid you respond, because never ever do the writers admit they’re wrong.

I’m admitting I’m wrong all day long, I live in fear of it. But not these people.

What is wrong with people?

What I like most is those asking for information, as if Google were never invented. Ever think of searching first?

Or those who want me to answer their questions, as if I’m a free college professor and my only goal is to make them rich and famous.

And that’s an e-mail I get all the time, people who want to get together or hop on the phone to inform me of their product that’s going to change the world. And if you respond that there’s nothing in it for you, me in this case, that they’re getting paid and I’m not, they never shy away, they double down! They’re doing me a favor, hipping me to their incredible offering that’s going to change the world. Don’t I want to hear their music, don’t I want my life to be better?

No.

I mean yes, but never ever have I gotten one of these e-mails from somebody looking to waste my time has it ever panned out. Not only do I not benefit, the product never breaks through.

So I’m sitting here wondering how these people get through life. Steeped in their ignorance, with a hair trigger, needing to be right when so often they’re wrong.

Every day people e-mail me incorrect facts. Multiple times.

You’d think if I write back the album is on Spotify, or that Obama is the President, or Jimmy Page was in Led Zeppelin, they’d apologize for wasting my time, never mind admit they’re incorrect.

But when I do, no matter how soft my tone, they get defensive, tell me I know nothing and either defend their initial inaccuracy or explain why I still don’t get it.

Which is why you don’t get a response from me. Because such a wide swath of the public is crazy, even though you’re not.

And I point this out because craziness infiltrates so much of our society. Blowhards convinced they’re right when they’re wrong. Especially politicians, spewing inaccuracies and not admitting their mistakes. It’s like the whole world is full of bullies who just believe if they rant frequently and loud enough, they’ll win.

As for me, if you think this is the pot calling the kettle black, let me state once again that you opted in, and you can easily opt out, happens all the time. And if you think I’m gonna be lonesome when you go… Sure, I don’t like losing subscribers, but they make it like I depend upon them, that without them I’m lost.

There’s this inane concept in America that the customer is always right.

Yup, the customer who returns their iPod to Costco after using it for 11 months, that’s why they had to change their exchange policy.

So the small group ruins it for the big group, isn’t that how it always is?

Your move.