Gaga Tour
Declare victory and stay home.
With an 82% drop in its second week, from 305,280 to 45,536, “Artpop” is so stiff, you could iron a shirt on it.
And everybody knows.
And nobody wants to go to a show no one else is attending.
Heat. That’s what gets people to go, when their friends are going, when it’s the place to be and you don’t want to be left out.
But you’re not missing anything if you stay home. Hell, you’ve already seen it all on TV. That’s enough for most people.
Lady Gaga needs to reinvent herself. She needs to follow in the footsteps of Christina Aguilera, of all people. Christina’s album was dead as a doornail so she stayed home, with some lame excuse I can’t even remember, and that’s just the point. Then she burnished her image on “The Voice,” dieted down and went from being the scourge of the tabloids to their darling.
Gaga needs this transition too.
Then again, Christina Aguilera was managed by Irving Azoff, and still is, and Lady Gaga’s…got no manager. And not only does a manager run interference, he or she gives you guidance from outside the bubble. Gaga believes if she just keeps spinning faster, doing more, changing outfits multiple times a day, we’ll care. But we don’t.
POSTSCRIPT
Kanye. Is he killing his career or will he recover?
Yeezus has got an advantage over Gaga and most other acts. He was never a man of the people, never on their side. So he doesn’t have to worry about losing their trust so much as being…ignored.
I’ve yet to see Kanye kill cancer. Or create Google. But he keeps telling us on and on he’s an oppressed genius. It’s tough being a black man in America, but last time I checked the President was African-American and although racism is still rampant, is that what’s truly holding Kanye back or is it that he’s not paid his dues and demonstrated skills in areas other than music? Michael Jordan couldn’t make it in baseball, despite being a much better player than the average Joe. Why is it those who win in one sphere automatically believe they can emerge victorious in another?
Furthermore, Kanye’s lost track of the narrative. His album had very little impact and now it’s all Kim K., all the time, who may be rich but is borderline laughingstock. SNL skewered her so sharply she’s shish kebab, and almost impossible to take seriously. Oh, that’s right, we never did. Her skill was being a tabloid train-wreck, a role she plays so well.
And now we’ve got Seth Rogen and James Franco making fun of Kanye.
Used to be he was off limits. Now he’s a punching bag. Like Gaga.
Then again, who wouldn’t make fun of his inane sex on a motorcycle video with Kim’s kittenish squeals so ridiculous you can only laugh…at them, not with them.
Is this the end of Yeezus?
Like I said, the public was never on his side. If he releases great music, he can climb back up, especially in the modern era where the cycle is so fast that what happened today is forgotten next week.
But trends have changed. Radio and the critics have embraced Lorde, who is not only not hip-hop, but rails against the trappings of blowhard, hedonistic, possessions are everything celebrities in her monster hit “Royals.” In other words, do we really care about Louis Vuitton, never mind leather jogging pants? Is Lorde ushering in an era of what’s inside as opposed to outside? One that’s no longer about surface trappings but thought?
We’re ready for it.
Not that the public will give up reading the tabloids any time soon.
But right now, that’s the only place Kanye lives, in gossipland. And that’s a hell no musician wants to endure. If you don’t lead with your music, you’re on the way out.
