I don’t know what happens when people die
Can’t seem to grasp it as hard as I try

"For A Dancer"
Jackson Browne

I’d just been thinking that I hadn’t heard from Bob in a while…

We’re fans. And when we hear from celebrities, the objects of our affection, we get a little thrill inside, especially when they’re artists, who unlike so many today aren’t famous for nothing, but are known because of talent, because of works they seemed to have concocted out of thin air. So when I got e-mail from Bob Welch, my heart was set a-flutter. It’s a long way from Fairfield, Connecticut to the Rolling Stones Mobile they used to cut some of the Fleetwood Mac records he was involved in.

I know, I know, Bob went on to have solo success thereafter. But Bob was the glue that keep Fleetwood Mac together. The bridge between their old manager putting a fake band on the road and the ultimate merger with Buckingham Nicks that resulted in superstardom. The fact that they wouldn’t let him be a part of their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction is heinous, just petty. But if you think rock stars are gracious, you just haven’t hung with enough of them. It’s so hard to make it, they’re always fearful of being misperceived, being brought down a notch, being replaced by someone younger and of the moment. But what does the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame mean anyway… We’ve all got our personal Halls of Fame. From playing those records. And listening back then was a solitary experience. It wasn’t about bumping asses and going to the club, but having your soul saved in your bedroom, as the glorious sound emanated from your speakers…

My favorite from the Welch era Fleetwood Mac is "Heroes Are Hard To Find"… An exuberant romp that never ceased to put a smile on my face and make me feel like my life was worth living. And, of course, there was "Hypnotized"… Which hearkened back to the band’s blues roots, its heyday with Peter Green. Bob wrote that. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention "Sentimental Lady", which went almost unnoticed on "Bare Trees" and became a hit when covered faithfully by Bob himself, after he’d left the band, after his compatriots had their success. A great song can languish without the right presentation, especially back then, when radio airplay was everything.

And Bob had his solo success and…

That’s the nature of music. Except for a very few, your time comes, and then it goes. And even those few, even McCartney and Elton…are imprisoned by their past, most people don’t want to hear their new music. But oh what a glorious past it is, it’s our history, the fabric of our identity, evoking more emotion and truth than any photograph or videotape.

A woman I knew just drowned herself
The well was deep and muddy
She was just shaking off futility
Or punishing somebody
My friends were calling up all day yesterday
All emotions and abstractions
It seems we all live so close to that line
and so far from satisfaction

"Song For Sharon"
Joni Mitchell

When "Song For Sharon" came out, I was closer to that line than satisfaction. Joni’s music helped me hang in there, until the worm turned and I ended up in my first serious relationship. But that’s the nature of the human condition. We bounce from exhilaration to despair and it’s a wild ride and some of us can’t hang on, we’re thrown from the roller coaster.

I don’t know what caused Bob Welch to take his life. There was a note, it might explain it. And despite knowing nothing I’m pissed that we live in a country where everybody must be macho and buck up and internalize and cope with their own problems. You’ve got to be able to ask for help and receive it. Without being described as weak. We’ve all been down that low. We’ve all needed a hand to lift us up. And too often, we need a professional hand. I have no idea if Bob had that available to him. But we all should. In a country that’s done a one eighty and is all about self-reliance, but even if you’re a famous rock star that’s sometimes hard to do. Jason Mraz had a number one yet still was on the verge of suicide.

But that won’t change history. Bob’s gone.

And I’m creeped out. Because it’s sad enough when someone goes. When they take their own life you wonder… Could you have helped? Am I capable of doing the same thing?

We go to school and everybody cares about us, what we do. We graduate and instantly you’re on your own, nobody’s paying attention. What a crazy country we live in where people want to regulate bedroom activities but don’t want to spend a dime to help those in trouble.

Not that I want to use this as a soapbox for my political beliefs, but the problem with suicide is it leaves so many questions. Which usually don’t ever get answered, they just slowly fade. Bob must have been in a lot of pain. But now we are too.

From: Mike Lawson
Subject: Bob Welch

Bob Welch was my best friend the past 22 years. He and Wendy threw the baby shower for my middle child Kelly 18 years ago. I can’t express how much I love this man and his wife Wendy. Why am I writing? Bob loved the Lefsetz Letter. He turned me on to you. We had countless calls on the heels of a newsletter from you, and he always was delighted when he saw you publish one of his replies.

It’s all over the news before we even got the blood cleaned up. I am devastated he was my best friend.