The New Van Halen Track
Now if that doesn’t make you want to log on to Ticketmaster and buy a ticket you probably don’t have a tattoo and never contemplated getting one, you probably graduated from college and are a winner, you never drove a mini-truck, drank a case of beer and wished you were something more but decided that for now, who you are is enough.
Now this is not the unexpected sonic explosion of "Why Can’t This Be Love", when Van Halen truly had something to prove with Dave off on a solo career and new singer Sammy Hager in place. Still, if you were ever a fan it satisfies.
Top Forty radio ain’t gonna play it, doesn’t matter what the reviewers say, they hated the band until everyone suddenly agreed Eddie was one of the greats, this is just for you. Who’ve waited, who’ve still believed, that despite your pot belly and thinning hair, despite the sand running through the hourglass, your prayers could still be answered, that deep inside you’re still eighteen and it’s so fucking great to be alive.
You’re sitting there hoping it doesn’t suck. And the repetition of the lyric in the chorus is a bit disappointing, Dave never took the easy way out, but then suddenly your butt is squirming in your seat, your arms are in the air, you’re dancing, you’ve wearing a shiteating grin and you’re saying to yourself THIS IS FUCKING GREAT!
Now you’ve got to start with the video, on the band’s homepage:
Sure, you miss Michael Anthony, but you get over that pretty quick since Wolfie’s aged, but what gets you is the swagger, the essence of what the band always was is still there. Dave knows we’re watching and he’s doing his best to be the coolest dude on the planet. Still, as always, it’s about Eddie. This is what made us all want to pick up the guitar and play. He just looks so fucking COOL! His axe is part of him, the way he bends his knee, how the fuck does he do this?
Meanwhile, they appear to be having fun. You remember fun, right? Sure, the money and the chicks were good, but it meant nothing if that amplified sound didn’t make you feel like the most powerful person on earth!
And just when you think it’s Dave’s monopolizing the track, two and a half minutes into it, Eddie starts to WAIL! His guitar is firing bullets and you’re writhing in ecstasy with the pain of being shot.
And it’s all so fucking EFFORTLESS!
But it gets better, hang on until the end, just when you think the song is over…. At 4:20, when the track quiets down and Eddie wrings this writhing sound from his guitar, like in "Finish What Ya Started", but this is mellower and so simple yet so utterly perfect.
And the second time through you notice a bit more texture under the track, Eddie was always a keyboard wizard too, never forget "Jump", and you’re contemplating whether the track is really that great and then you say, FUCK IT, I LOVE THIS!
I almost bought it, I couldn’t take the time to steal it.
Then I wondered, how hip was this band, how of the moment. The Vimeo clip on the homepage stuttered a ton the first time through, could "Tattoo" be on Spotify? OF COURSE!
And I played "5150" until the grooves were gray. Even though I believe the Dave era was better. When they remastered the greatest hits the first time through, back in ’96, I couldn’t stop playing "And The Cradle Will Rock…"
And it positively will. Any young ‘un who sees this video is gonna have to go to the show. This ain’t nostalgia, this is as new as an iPhone, but it’s positively ALIVE!
Nerds have inherited the world, with their software and gadgets. But in one fell swoop Van Halen has taken it back.
THAT’S THE POWER OF ROCK AND ROLL!
