The Grammy Nominations
Huh?
Who cares!
Just like our country, NARAS is run by an ineffectual President beholden to old, monied interests who refuses to lead and leaves the public out in the cold, completely absent from the equation.
Once upon a time, the Grammys became relevant because the mainstream merged with the hip during the MTV era and Mike Greene seized this moment to ramp up membership, create a hubbub and finally give the appearance that the Grammys mattered. And his caretaker replacement has been coasting on Greene’s coattails for years as the franchise declines, just like Al Teller coasted on the house Irving Azoff built at MCA until the hits dried up.
We no longer live in the eighties. Once again, we’ve got a mainstream and an alternative market. One declining, the other ever more vibrant. What does NARAS do? Come out with Grammy nominations in 109 categories, defying anyone to make sense of them, meanwhile flaunting mainstream hits that are less mainstream than ever before. End result? A sideshow. With the major labels having abdicated their power, isn’t it time for NARAS to finally lead?
If you look at the "Record Of The Year" nominees, unless you’re truly a fan of one of these five acts, you’re flummoxed. B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars is a brand new act, and the public has been trained to believe these beat-infused Top Forty tracks are made by performers who are here today and gone tomorrow. It’s a big hit right now, so what? Eminem has the biggest album of the year, but mixing him with Rihanna may yield a radio hit but it results in a public turnoff. This is lowest common denominator shit, where a credible act buys insurance. If Rihanna had so many fans, her tour wouldn’t have stiffed. If Cee-Lo’s track has been released as "Forget You", instead of "F*** You", it wouldn’t have even been nominated. "Empire State Of Mind" is a legitimate hit and a legitimate contender. One can say the same thing about Lady Antebellum’s "Need You Now", except for the fact that this act is America instead of Crosby, Stills & Nash. They’re good, they’re serviceable, are they great? NO!
And where are the top touring acts? I know, I know, it’s a recorded music clusterfuck, but give the CMA Awards credit, at least they honor an "Entertainer Of The Year". I’d complain if Bon Jovi won it, but isn’t the race between Bon Jovi and the Eagles and the Dave Matthews Band, the acts people truly want to see and are fans of? Acts with staying power?
As for Album of the Year… Once again, if you’re not a fan of one of these acts, you just don’t give a shit. Used to be people paid attention to this category, went out and bought what won. That’s not gonna happen here. There’ll be a slight sales bump, and that’s it. Evidencing the fact that there’s no universal hit act out there that everybody truly cares about. Give Eminem props for staying power. But Arcade Fire… I’m thinking they were nominated in the back room. I love their marketing, I love that they haven’t sold out to a major label, but play this album for someone who’s not already a fan, and there are not that many believers, and they’ll scream for you to TAKE IT OFF! "The Fame Monster" was a huge hit. But you either care about GaGa or you don’t. Used to be we begrudgingly said those with success had talent, even if we didn’t like them. Give GaGa the marketing award. The odds of this album surviving the ages are about as good as those of Lauryn Hill’s Grammy winning opus. Has ANYONE listened to "The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill" recently? And Katy Perry is just a joke. Do they nominate Rob Schneider for an Oscar?
And the "Song Of The Year" nominees are shoulder-shruggers too.
Oh, stop complaining. I’m just pointing out the elephant in the room. That you might be getting paid, you might be a music fan, but too many people are not. FarmVille and Angry Birds are more exciting than music. Especially this music. Made for a market more than artistic expression. And the public knows it.
There’s maybe ten relevant categories here. The rest are all strokes for lifetime musicians who need an award to feel good about themselves. I mean if you can’t get nominated for a Grammy, you don’t make music.
And just like Clayton Christensen laid out the blueprint for saving a dying enterprise, by establishing its wholly-owned competitor across the street, the Grammys should be split in two. One whored out telecast with fewer than ten awards where everybody begs for performance time and the public watches and laughs and another super-credible version that airs simultaneously on cable and the web and has social media components that’s about burnishing the brand of music.
Yup, there I said it, the dreaded "B" word, "brand". That’s what all these acts are. Do you want to sleep with your computer? Make love to your car? Then why in hell do you think we’d get excited about these acts! And the whole category is deflated. Music is where those dying to be famous go to try and get rich. You know, those without education or talent, just a desire to be noticed. Angelina of "The Jersey Shore" is working a single
doesn’t that prove the point?
Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist. I know you, you people playing to nobody who’ve put in your 10,000 hours. It’s not only about the time, it’s about hard practice. Ski the bunny slope for twenty years and you’re still a beginner, you’ve got to challenge yourself! And challenging yourself means falling, looking bad, taking risks. But the nominees are exactly the opposite, they’re lowest common denominator safe crap. Remember when artists did it because they needed to, were willing to starve to express themselves? Most people think those players are gone. How can we tell them they are wrong?
By nominating someone like Ray LaMontagne. "Beg Steal or Borrow" is the best song on his album. But to nominate it for "Song Of The Year"? Shit, does the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences nominate babies in YouTube videos for Actor Of The Year? It just cheapens the whole enterprise.
So, if you must play to the mainstream, limit it and whore it out completely. Turn it into a train-wreck. Don’t even try to strive for credibility. This is what MTV has done with its awards shows, and the ratings have gone through the roof. Who wins is irrelevant. It’s just a party.
But if you want to make it about music… It’s got to be vital and credible and you’ve got to position it like people should care. It’s hard to argue that ANYBODY who’s not nominated or financially interested in these nominees truly cares about the Grammy Awards.
Don’t shoot me, I’m just the messenger. Remember, the major labels asked who’d want to listen to music on their computer!
