Jet Blue
Every week, the Haggler in the "New York Times" responds to customer complaints. Usually the accused enterprise makes a lame excuse and makes the customer whole. Still, there are unreachable companies, and unrealistic consumers, those who believe they’re entitled to the product for free, to be treated like royalty.
It’s tough dealing with the public. Because there’s a percentage of people who are always unreasonable. But most of us are just looking for a fair exchange. We want to get what we pay for. And we want to know what we’re getting is a fair deal. Unlike in the concert industry, where the biggest acts scalp their own tickets.
Anyway, yesterday the Haggler did something I’ve never seen before. He did a tribute to great customer service. He lauded Jet Blue.
Now you don’t have to be paying attention to know about that Jet Blue flight attendant who exited via the slide, or the time passengers were stranded on a Jet Blue plane for hours. But you can’t let your mistakes bring you down, perfect is almost unachievable, like a great hitter, you’ve got to keep your chin up and go for the best average you can.
But in the music industry, we don’t even believe in rankings. We believe talent trumps everything. That if we create a desirable act, people will pay exorbitant amounts to see them.
And this may be true. But when that act falters a bit, the hordes run. As for experiencing a less than desirable act…now you know why people only go to one show a year.
If you read the "New York Times" piece, you will see that the Jet Blue CEO greets every new employee. A far cry from when the Sony Music brass wouldn’t even let the troops take the same elevator. That’s not an exercise in team-building, that’s an exercise in modern America.
But one other element of modern America is the Internet. Dell has never recovered from the bad press as a result of outsourcing its tech help to India. You see the cheapest alternative is not always the best. Ever notice that Apple always ranks number one in customer service? First and foremost, the operators are speaking English.
But as the labels fade, and believe me they are, EMI’s gonna be history if not by Christmas, at least by next Christmas, the focus is on the live side. And the live side has been fucked up for so long that to fix it is like turning around an ocean liner. Who hasn’t been hassled by undertrained security guards? Who hasn’t had their box office problem unsolved? Going to a show is like going to the post office, but with much higher prices. And if you don’t think we live in a service economy, you probably think a restaurant with good food and shitty service can prosper.
Now I want to say that the artists have learned this lesson. Every artist on the way up not only works the Web, he interfaces with his fans. Artists are accessible. They give bang for the buck. Your favorite artist is constantly proffering freebies. But when they hit the live arena…
How about a greeter? Yup, like Wal-Mart. A person at the venue who every patron is aware of who acts like a traffic cop, shows you where to go and who to speak to to get your problem solved. Dress him up in a tux. Or turn him into a clown. Have him pass out candy to kids and desirable coupons to parents. Make people feel good.
And if you’re gonna outsource food production, at least insist the servers don’t wear industrial, fast food outfits. A concert costs many times more dollars than McDonald’s, why should I be served by a teen in a blaring yellow shirt when I dressed up for the show?
And since the show was so expensive, I want high quality food. How come baseball learned this, every stadium now offers exotic fare, but we’ve still got hot dogs and popcorn at the concert? People will pay for high quality consumables, they’ve just got to believe they are…good.
Seating.
How come every ticket doesn’t come with a printout showing exactly where the seats are? Either a close up map with directions on the back of the ducat itself or an extra sheet of paper that you print out at home, since you’re paying for this privilege anyway. We pump our own gas, we can find our own seats…if you help us.
And just in case we lost the paper, how about an app of the venue for our smartphone, which shows our seat in the theatre?
And those ushers who remain must be incentivized to be nice. Maybe a hundred dollar reward to he or she who gets the best customer service report at each show. Come on, had your car serviced recently? Or had the cable company come to your house? All these people are being rated. As a result, they’re nice, and pleading for good reports. And the winner of the money gets his or her picture on the big screen just before the show. People would applaud, we’re all workers, we respect our own, when they respect us.
As for exchanges, etc…
If you can’t go to the show, at least give people credit, if not their money back. Keep a list of those who abuse this process. That’s what Amazon does. Return too many items and they won’t let you buy from them anymore. But most people are reasonable. If it turns out you’ve got a wedding that night, or grandma gets sick, shouldn’t you be entitled to a way out? As for acts complaining… What goes around comes around, every act has fans that can’t come at the last minute.
And how about a basket of earplugs at every door. They do this in Ibiza, they can’t do it in America? Furthermore, in Ibiza they brand the earplugs, putting them in a plastic bag with a logo! Suddenly, they’re a souvenir, especially if they’re emblazoned with the name of the band.
And everybody in the building must be empowered to make a decision. That’s what I hate about the show, you can’t find someone with authority to fix your problem. You’re told to wait, or go to the other end of the building… Frequently you end up communicating with a harried employee in a tie who is actually helpful, but at the cost of missing part of the show.
And how about speakers and video screens outside the venue for those who come late, or just want a breather. Baseball stadiums put screens by the concessions, why can’t music venues?
In a constant drive to the bottom, providing less for more so acts and promoters can get ever richer, the customer has been squeezed to the point of not coming. The only way to reverse this trend is to turn promoters into team efforts, that concertgoers know by name and respect.
