I’m trying to decide whether to go to the Coldplay gig Monday night.

I didn’t even know that Coldplay was going to be in town. Not because I don’t care about the band, but because it’s impossible to know what’s going on anymore. There’s not one site that lists every concert happening, at least not one I want to go to. Used to be I just listened to the radio and knew EVERYTHING that was going on, everything that appealed to me. But that was back before terrestrial radio became sold out whores and I stopped listening. Used to be your local radio station served the community, now it serves advertisers and the Mays family…if it’s local at all. TicketMaster would say you can find all the info on their site… Shit, if you’ve got enough time to waste. As for LiveNation’s site… What’s its name again? The company is so busy trying to stay afloat, appease Wall Street, that it’s not really thinking about customers. Hell, there’s more concern with an exit strategy than getting people excited about going to the gig. The only thing the promoter is interested in is opening the fan’s wallet. How can he get more revenue. If you can’t charge for it, then they’re not interested in it. Which is why the fan will only go to one or two shows a year, and pay a fortune therefor. Otherwise, going to the gig is like playing GTA IV, getting clomped over the head, beaten up and risking a trip to the hospital.

A third party could establish a definitive concert site. Kinda like Craigslist. You click on your city, you pick a genre and VOILA! Everything you’re interested in is right there. But Craigslist is not about the money. Craig Newmark is about the users, the service. The big time music industry hasn’t been about the peons in almost two decades. As for the other Silicon Valleyites, it’s ALL ABOUT the exit strategy. They’re ONLY interested in the money. And speaking of the money, should I take Dave Holmes up on his offer to not only give me as many tickets as I need for the gig but a car to go in?

The car is no small issue. Despite high gas prices, traffic south of the 10 is still horrific in L.A. And I drive a car with a standard transmission. An hour of stop and go is enough to send me to the physical therapist.

But it’s at least a hundred bucks.

To tell you the truth, I’ve got no idea how much it is, I’ve never ever hired a limo. But it’s got to cost something, and will there be anything expected in return?

I decided to put this all up front to Mr. Holmes. He said no problem.

Then I listened to the record.

It’s a sixties and seventies ritual. You don’t go to the gig without knowing the new record. They’re going to play a lot of it and you want to be familiar with the material. Hell, this may be the ONLY time they play some of this material, you want to enjoy it, not wince with remorse when you end up loving the album AFTER you see the band.

But that paradigm is done. At least when it comes to most big time shows. They’re selling the brand, not the music. Not the new music anyway. You’re coming to see CHRIS MARTIN! Married to Gwyneth! You’re going to hear "Clocks", "The Scientist", hopefully "Yellow" and you’re going to ENDURE the new material.

It’s even worse with older acts. No one buys the new material and they certainly don’t want to hear it live. You can get paid a fortune, but you’re not allowed to grow. You’re a hit machine. Steve Miller’s got to play "Rock’n Me" every gig until he dies. He can’t even play "Kow Kow", not even "Quicksilver Girl". He can’t play his own obscurities, the audience demands otherwise. Read Ben Sidran’s book to learn about this. Yup, Steve’s old sideman nailed this concept. How you’re a PRISONER of your material!

So I steal "Viva la Vida". Oh, I could e-mail Ambrosia for a copy, but I don’t want to wait, I want to marinate in the music. I’m using Limewire because the album’s been ethnically cleansed from Rapidshare… And some of the cuts just aren’t right, the length is imperfect, and I steal them again and in the process…I listen to the album.

I like the opener, "Life In Technicolor". It’s dreamy, a perfect album opener. But as I steal and listen something strikes me… This album isn’t that good. It’s not that it’s bad, but the more you listen to it, the more you think one time will be enough. I didn’t expect this. I figured it would be a breakthrough, a step forward, working with Eno.

But maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m in a bad mood. Maybe I’m coming from a whacked perspective. So I decide to fire up the Amazon reviews, to see what the public thinks.

I don’t start off with the five star reviews, I know they love the album. I start off at the bottom, with the one star reviews.

Oftentimes, one star reviews can be discounted. The writer has an ax to grind. He hates the band anyway. But these people were fans. They were pissed they hadn’t listened before they’d purchased. Where was the old Coldplay, where was the PIANO!

They’re right! This is EXACTLY what I’m feeling.

And as you go up the star ratings, everybody’s saying the same thing, albeit with less intensity. And now I’m starting to wonder, do I even want to SEE the band? I didn’t love them the LAST time through.

But Rapino gave us such good seats at Irvine Meadows (i.e. Verizon) that you had to be deaf to enjoy the show. I am almost deaf and it was too loud. So we went way up into the hinterlands. And couldn’t quite feel the show.

Then I wrote and said something negative about the show and Rapino flipped out. He said I should have been thankful that he’d given me tickets. I was flummoxed. I thought we were friends. The really big guys, Freston, Azoff, they realize it’s about relationships first, they don’t go insane if you write negative shit. God, Freston said I’d written such negative shit about MTV that if he truly cared, we couldn’t be friends! If Rapino is doling out tickets to curry favor, like I should be thrilled to see ANY fucking band, I’d rather buy the damn tickets.

But I don’t even know Dave Holmes. I know he did a brilliant job of setting up "Viva la Vida", assembling the team, but I don’t know how thin-skinned he is.

And now it’s even worse. Since I’ve listened to the album, I now have a STORY!

And the story is NEVER LISTEN TO THE PRESS! NEVER LISTEN TO THE DETRACTORS! ONLY LISTEN TO YOURSELF!

Jon Pareles called Coldplay INSUFFERABLE in the "New York Times". Most Coldplay fans, I’d say essentially ALL, have no idea who Jon Pareles IS!

We’ve seen this time and again.

Bryan Adams was a megastar. But the critics said his songs were just ditties, they didn’t mean anything. So he recorded a statement album, one that dealt with the issues of the day, "Into The Fire", and it just about sank like a stone. The critics were NEVER going to like Bryan Adams, why should he give a fuck?

Same deal with the STONES! They recorded "Satanic Majesties" to compete with the Beatles. But the Beatles were different. They were pop and the Stones were blues based. The Stones could NEVER cut anything CLOSE to "Sgt. Pepper". But, when they retrenched, they recorded possibly the best album of their career, "Beggars Banquet". You’ve got to be true to yourself.

And I love some of those tracks on "Satanic Majesties". "2000 Light Years From Home", "Citadel" and "In Another Land". And, there are good tracks on "Viva la Vida". Like the second "Lost". But, track for track, it’s a misstep.

I really didn’t expect this. I’m an Eno fan. I thought he didn’t fuck up. But, this was a mismatch. Coldplay is too pop, and too warm for Eno’s cold hand. Sure, U2 broke through with "Achtung Baby", but U2 is more about dark than light. Coldplay is your friend, U2 is selling something different. U2 is spectacle, Coldplay is intimacy.

So I told Dave I was reconsidering.

He responded "No worries let me know either way."

I’d like to go for the hang. Yup, he invited me for dinner. Says he brings his own catering, that the food is really good. I like good food, but I’m more interested in the conversation. Backstage after the show is bullshit compared to dinner before. Everybody from manager to band members to crew partake. You’re let into a little club, where there’s very little starpower, they’re all hanging together, in this traveling city/circus, for months. It’s anything but artifice.

But I don’t want to burn Dave Holmes or the band. I don’t want to be an asshole.

But maybe they’re more like Freston. They don’t only want sycophancy, they’re interested in outside opinions, they’re not like Gene Simmons, living in a walled city where you shoot first, making sure no one with a contrary opinion penetrates.

But shit, to take their car too? And what, pray tell, if I’m bored and want to leave early?

Should I stay or should I go?