Sales-Week Ending-1/13/08
1. Alicia Keys "As I Am"
Sales this week: 70,267
Percentage change: -38%
Weeks on: 9
Cume: 2,725,935
That’s a FUCK of a lot of records.
Credit Clive Davis. An expertly orchestrated media campaign for a lovable entertainer that built for almost a year and crested in the fourth quarter, just when sales are hottest.
Clive’s always got one hot one. And then they fade…
What I want to see is if Alicia crosses the picket line if the WGA strike isn’t settled/NARAS doesn’t get a waiver for the Grammys. I want to see if she’s got more cred, more backbone than Justin Timberlake, who apologized after Nipplegate, like he didn’t know what was going on.
I’d be stunned if JT doesn’t cross the picket line, he can’t do what’s right. But I believe Alicia will stay out. I hope she stays out. What’s more important, hyping a momentary record or giving the middle finger to the man? The man in this case being the entertainment companies who want to say the future is the Net, but that the writers shouldn’t get their cut.
But maybe, in light of the directors making a deal, the writers will now too and it will all be academic.
2. Radiohead "In Rainbows"
Sales this week: 68,784
Percentage change: -44%
Weeks on: 3
Cume: 199,949
I’m coming to hate Radiohead. Not for their music, but for their business policies.
So they do the tip jar thing, and then they say it wasn’t a real release, it was just a way to deal with leaks, that it was just an ad for the CD.
Don’t ask me about the idiots buying this online (and they are idiots, the same ones you’re marketing to a year into a project, casual fans/inactive music buyers who are just getting the word when true fans are burned out and yearning for new material), at this point we can say the CD is a dud. Last time around they sold 300,000 the first week out. This drop far exceeds that in the marketplace in general. Couldn’t happen to a nicer group of self-satisfied, smirking fucks. (E-mail me…I DARE YOU! Like I CARE!)
3. "Juno"
Sales this week: 67,507
Percentage change: +78%
Weeks on: 2
Cume: 142,696
Isn’t it interesting that all these album sales are for a SMALL MOVIE!
People don’t want the soundtrack of the big movie, hyped ad infinitum for a year. They can’t own that, not emotionally. But people believe "Juno" was made just for them, it’s PERSONAL! They want the soundtrack as a badge of identity, as a souvenir! THIS is the way we used to sell bands. The works of which are inherently cheaper to make and market than a movie.
This is a bunt turned into a homer. This is beacon for the music business.
Meanwhile, maybe young ‘uns (the target audience for "Juno", and the only people who go to the movies anyway, needing to leave the house to get high and make out) will line up for the Kinks reunion tour!
At least they get to hear Bowie’s classic Mott The Hoople tune, "All The Young Dudes".
As for Cat Power… What is it, do all the male reviewers want to fuck her? She’s not THAT good. A SECOND album of covers? She’s desperate (and not that good a songwriter…)
4. Mary J. Blige "Growing Pains"
Sales this week: 63,876
Percentage change: -28%
Weeks on: 4
Cume: 988,396
Interesting album title for someone implicated in a steroids scandal:
5. Taylor Swift
Sales this week: 34,544
Percentage change: -26%
Weeks on: 64
Cume: 2,324,545
Incredible music business crossover story or an incredible case of overexposure, playing to the mainstream instead of staying home and placating the people who pay her bills, the country fans?
You decide.
Ah, I can’t help but weigh in. I’m going with the latter. She’s talented, but shit, give it a rest already.
8. Eagles "Long Road Out Of Eden"
Sales this week: 28,664
Percentage change: -20%
Weeks on: 11
Cume: 2,672,732
Now if it were thirty years ago, this album’s title track would be an FM staple…and you’d be INTO IT!
Instead, you’re sitting at home with your self-satisfied smirk (listening to "In Rainbows"!), saying the Eagles SUCK!
If being able to write and perform singable songs, that touch people’s hearts and make them think, means you’re terrible, then I LOVE SHIT!
This album is not "Hotel California". Henley himself goes on record that this it’s not. But the title track is an Eagles classic. And the fact that no one who doesn’t own this best-selling album has heard it shows you that the mainstream paradigm is DEAD!
If you’re a Radiohead fan you DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN to the Eagles. And vice versa.
But this sales figure is testimony to the fact that there are a lot more Eagles fans than Radiohead fans. Not that there’s anything wrong with Radiohead’s music, not everything great sells prodigiously. It’s just that there’s almost no cross-pollination, we’re not listening to the same radio stations or the watching the same TV shows. It’s almost IMPOSSIBLE to get people’s attention, especially for something new.
9. Garth Brooks "Ultimate Hits"
Sales this week: 28,312
Percentage change: -27%
Weeks on: 10
Cume: 1,400,985
Although I don’t love Garth, I respect him. But this competitive streak is sticking in my craw. How many shows do you have to do at Staples Garth? Are you into setting records, or helping fire victims? I think you’re interested in the latter, but I think you truly NEED to be number one, you need to be in the spotlight. Just admit it. Say the retirement is done and come back. Worked for Michael Jordan…the first time anyway.
Take over Celine’s building at Caesars. Move your kids to Vegas. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And you obviously have the will…
13. "Alvin & The Chipmunks"
Sales this week: 26,919
Percentage change: -17%
Weeks on: 6
Cume: 197,319
I didn’t think it was the same group, I figured it was impostors, just a bunch of young rodents filling the legendary shoes. But I downloaded the original "Witch Doctor" to compare, and they always sounded a bit fake…harmonized, pitch-corrected in the studio.
If you’re having a party, if you’re playing Seth Rogen in "Knocked Up", fire up your P2P program and download some of the group’s covers. Listen to "Funkytown". YOU’LL CRACK THE FUCK UP!
25. Robert Plant/Alison Krauss "Raising Sand"
Sales this week: 20,082
Percentage change: -10%
Weeks on: 12
Cume: 689,414
I’m not sure who’s selling this, Robert or Alison, or as Big Brother & the Holding Company would say, a combination of the two. But one’s thing for sure, baby boomers are hungry for music and will PAY FOR IT!
This is about the music, not the fame, not the obvious marketing tie-ins, not the endorsements. And the public is REACTING!
33. Jay-Z "American Gangster"
Sales this week: 17,307
Percentage change: -27%
Weeks on: 10
Cume: 928,311
You didn’t fall for that ridiculous Jay-Z to Apple rumor, did you?
Why in the HELL should Steve Jobs go into the music production business? Where’s the upside in selling tracks for a buck when you can get people slowing your online store to a crawl to buy $1,799 MacBook Airs!
You just don’t get it. There’s not enough money in music, not compared to TECHNOLOGY! Which is why the creative industries are fucked in D.C. There aren’t enough dollars involved, not when their interests are opposite hardware/software/tech/electronics companies.
35. Britney Spears "Blackout"
Sales this week: 16,507
Percentage change: -20%
Weeks on: 11
Cume: 694,234
For all of those of you out there who believe all publicity is good publicity…
Britney’s behavior might be selling something, but it’s not RECORDS!
50. Jordin Sparks
Sales this week: 12,416
Percentage change: -30%
Weeks on: 8
Cume: 436,768
If Simon Cowell had any balls, when the "American Idol" competition ended last year, after Jordin Sparks was coronated, he should have stood up and said she wasn’t good enough, and refused to put out her record. Kind of like in court, when the judge grants summary judgment. There’s not enough evidence to support the case, no matter what. There’s not enough talent for Jordin Sparks to break through.
You wonder why people hate the music business? Because it believes it can make ANYONE a star. (Oh, and there are those lawsuits and overpriced CDs and Ticketmaster fees and…)
84. James Taylor "One Man Band"
Sales this week: 7,858
Percentage change: -30%
Weeks on: 9
Cume: 356,536
How many times can you sell the same damn songs?
To the point where people no longer have to buy them. Even if they’re jammed down their throat at Starbucks. (But he does do one of my personal favorites, "Chili Dog"!)
People want to hear the same damn songs again and again live, but not on DISC (or file or however you want to sell them).
This is an Instant Live project, sell the live album of the show people were at, not the same damn songs again to the general public.
I could keep going down the chart, you could keep e-mailing me, castigating me, DON’T I HAVE ANYTHING POSITIVE TO SAY!
Yes, the mainstream is a hollow rotting corpse and your time is finally here. You always hated what everybody else was listening to. Now, YOU CAN AVOID IT! You can just wallow in your own private Idaho. And ignore everything else.
The only problem is everybody else is ignoring YOU! And you were always waiting for Sonic Youth and other sophomoric, unlistenable alternative acts to become ubiquitous. And now that can’t happen. And you’re PISSED ABOUT IT!
You wanted your revenge. You wanted to gather with Skolnick and the rest of the nerds and triumph. But now they’ve changed the rules of the game. No, they’ve abolished the game. And you can’t give everybody their comeuppance. They’re happy listening to "Umbrella" and you never have to hear it. You don’t get to tell somebody to flip the station, because they’re not listening to radio in the car anyway. The music you hate is not blaring out of the speakers at sporting events, they’re playing thirty year old classic rock. All those ignorant fucks listening to crap…you’re not even swimming in the same pool!
Meanwhile, the fat cats, the ignoramuses like Doug Morris, just think if they could get everybody to stop stealing, then they’d be back to the glory days. But how to explain the lack of airplay for the Eagles? Never mind that the album is straight to Wal-Mart in the U.S. and the major labels are cut out. If you can’t break records on the radio, then what? What if people AREN’T LISTENING TO THE RADIO? What if MTV played no music? THAT’S REALITY!
The game has changed.  If you want to make a ton of money, quickly, sell your local VC on a social networking site. Then again, MySpace’s numbers have fallen from their peak.
The ball keeps moving. The record business wanted to control it, keep it in eyesight. But the public holds the ball, always has.
Music will be cheaper in the future. More people will own more of it. If someone tells you about a record, if so inclined, you’ll be able to hear it instantly on the Web. Will the label get paid for this? If it’s smart.
But will the label steer? Not the majors. Look at the touring industry. It used to live on the scraps of the major labels’ efforts. Now LiveNation’s stock keeps tanking because not only did the company make a ridiculous deal with Madonna, Wall Street has woken up to the fact that there are no superstars in the making.
Sales last week were off 10% from the corresponding week LAST YEAR! And last year was a SHIT YEAR! Tower Records didn’t just close. What caused this sudden drop?
Maybe lack of great product. But more the inability to do saturation marketing on what good product the labels do have. Oh, you can DO the saturation marketing, you just can’t REACH PEOPLE!
