5. Slayer "Christ Illusion"

Debut: 62,449

Wow, makes you yearn for the days of yore, doesn’t it.  Pre-SoundScan.  When an act like this had NO CHANCE of making the Top Ten, not unless for some reason they suddenly caught fire with a radio track.  But that’s not gonna happen here.  Slayer’s hard core fans all went out the first week and purchased this album.  Which will promptly slide down the chart.  Into irrelevance.

Actually, give props to Rick Sales and his team.  For getting the message out.  It’s hard to break through the clutter and let your fans know you’ve GOT a new album.  I’m actually surprised so many people care.  But metal-heads are dedicated.  But the fact that this album is number 5 and doesn’t even come close to 100,000 sales…scary.

7. Kidz Bop Kidz  "Kidz Bop Ten"

This week: 56,211
Cume: 173,266

Charles Duhigg should have done an article on the Razor & Tie guys, not Ron Fair.

This is all concept…  And to tell you the truth, demonstrates EXCEPTIONAL creativity.  It’s the idea more than the execution.  Just look at the Velvet Underground!  It’s what you represent more than how well you do it.  Rather than polishing evanescent turds, come up with something different, that catches the public’s fancy.

This cost ten cents to make.  But not ten cents to promote.  Razor & Tie is one of Nickelodeon’s most coveted advertisers.  In an era where MTV plays almost no music, R&T is creating its OWN music video channel, granted, in between cartoons (both live action and animated!)

This is not art.  This is the fifties reincarnated.  That’s the mainstream business today.  Hell, the problem with the major labels is they’re not cynical ENOUGH!  If only they’d realize they were selling crap, and stop spending on stuff that doesn’t go to the bottom line, they could stop bitching so much.

8. Gnarls Barkley "St. Elsewhere"

This week: 53,747
Cume: 722,135

Now this isn’t the complete story.  They’ve sold 79,675 digital albums to date.  But, compare this to something like Fleetwood Mac, whether the first Buckingham/Nicks album OR "Rumours".  OH, you say, Fleetwood Mac was not a new band.  EXACTLY!  If you’re building acts today via the major label system, you’re fucked.  You’ve got to get in and get out fast.  And if this act, with the biggest hit of the summer, deservedly so, has sold SO few albums so far, even INCLUDING digital, you KNOW we’re in trouble.  Back in the late nineties you know this would be double platinum AT LEAST by now.

One more thing though.  They HAVE sold 956,664 digital singles of "Crazy".  Impressive on one hand, disillusioning on the other.  A market that didn’t exist.  Found money.  But how many of these people would have bought the album in days of yore?  Generating TEN TIMES THE REVENUE per sale.  Can you say "Chumbawamba"?  How many CDs would have been sold of THAT act if you could buy "Tubthumping" as a digital download?

(Of course, "Crazy" is number one on BigChampagne’s P2P chart and resides on MILLIONS of hard drives, but let’s not speak of the elephant in the room.)

16. Tom Petty "Highway Companion"

This week: 38,309
Cume: 208,027

The story isn’t how good or bad this album is, but that you can barely hear it.

What if the Beatles released a new single today?

It would flop.  Unless it employed beats.

Even the living Beatles, the Eagles, could not count on airplay if they dropped a new "Take It Easy", never mind "Hotel California".

I feel for these old acts.  They’ve been closed out of radio.  Their aging audience listens to talk anyway.  And, unfortunately, wants to only hear the OLD stuff, to relive their youth.

Mighty frustrating if you’re a true artist.

Print sold these records.  That’s the best way to reach an aging audience.

21. Nelly Furtado "Loose"

This week: 31,757
Cume: 620,503

Admit it.  You figured this HAD to be platinum.  Before Gnarls Barkley’s "Crazy" hit, Nelly had THE track.

Oh, Nelly did sell 1,238,622 digital copies of "Promiscuous".  That’s like selling…another 123,000 albums??

Oh, she did sell 27,372 digital albums.

Wow!  What more evidence do you need that iTunes is putting the labels out of business?  You don’t even do ONE-TENTH THE BUSINESS!  Unless we can get people to buy more, we’re fucked.

32. Carrie Underwood "Some Hearts"

This week: 24,875
Cume: 3,279,184

TV sells records.

For how long?  That’s a different question completely.  But since Carrie functions in the country world, maybe she’s the exception.  There are still viable careers in country.

34. Corinne Bailey Rae

This week: 23,869
Cume: 246,480

The brass at EMI felt since I loved KT Tunstall, I’d go for Corinne.

That’s laughable.  KT is an artist.  An innovator.  Just check a YouTube video if you doubt me.

Corinne Bailey Rae is a marketing exercise.  Sure, I like: "Put Your Records On", but if it hadn’t been for Norah Jones Corinne Bailey Rae probably wouldn’t have even gotten a deal.  Cocktail music for housewives, who’ve worn out their copies of "X&Y".

BUT, at least it’s music.  It’s not beats, it’s got melody, it’s ear-pleasing.  And the public is responding.  This is an incredible sales total for a new act without a monster hit.

36. Johnny Cash "American Recordings V"

This week: 25,992
Cume: 258,589

Dying is a great career move.

40. Wreckers "Stand Still Look Pretty"

This week: 19,935
Cume: 275, 713

I’m stunned.

If they’d put out another Michelle Branch record, it would have sold bupkes, nobody was interested, nobody cared.  Maybe they could have revved up the publicity machine and worked a track hard, but they wouldn’t have made any money.

But instead Michelle followed her own muse, wanted to do a country record, didn’t even use her own name, and it’s a SUCCESS!

Trust the artist, not the suit.

46. Ani DiFranco "Reprieve"

Debut: 17,991

Wow, she’s gonna make more money on her self-distributed record than major labels are gonna clear on their PRIORITIES!  And she’s not only the record company, but the artist!

Ani didn’t need the major label machine to deliver her a name.  She did it all by her lonesome.  She’s got a hard core fan base.  She can work forever.

Who said girls could not compete in this business…

47. KT Tunstall "Eye To The Telescope"

This week: 17,681
Cume: 573,291

This is how you build a career.  I wouldn’t even continue to work this record.  Let it sell by itself.  And then deliver a new one to those who ALREADY bought THIS one.  Satiate fans, not casual buyers.

If you don’t think gold on a new act is FANTASTIC your priorities are screwed up.

49. Los Lonely Boys "Sacred"

This week: 17,107
Cume: 138,466

It’s over.  Can you say FASTBALL?

The audience no longer believes in radio acts, no longer believes in their careers.  A big hit track doesn’t mean SHIT in the future.  If you want to last, you’ve got to build your base on the road, where people kick the tires, get excited, BELIEVE, and stand by you.