Why not give us the reality show we really want to see.  Fifteen studs
competing for an evening with Brooke Burke.

Oh, we’ve got no idea who Brooke Burke really is.  It’s all external.  She
has a surgically-enhanced body and a precious smile.  But that’s enough for TV. 
That’s what they’re selling.  The OUTSIDE!  When every legitimate rock star
has made it based on what’s on the INSIDE!

Let’s take Perry Farrell.  See this dude on the street and want to spend a
night with him?  I don’t think so.  But listen to the songs he writes, see him
animated on stage, and you just want to get closer, you just want to KNOW him. 
(Well, in the old days, the days of "Nothing’s Socking".)  That’s the power
of rock stardom.  These artists create something so powerful, so meaningful,
that we just want to touch it.

Not that we want to touch Perry’s old bandmate Dave Navarro anymore.  Is this
a new kind of whore?  Ex-druggie, tattooed has-been?  It’s bad enough that
Jane’s broke up, but then Dave was essentially kicked out of the Red Hot Chili
Peppers, for with him the band was unsuccessful, nobody wanted to see them.  It
was all about Frusciante.  Someone who didn’t belong in "Us", or on TV even,
but LIVED the part of rock star, who picked his guitar, played his tunes and
moved people.

And in their own peculiar way, INXS used to do the same thing.  But rather
than sell darkness, rather than sell experience, INXS sold energy.  Encapsulated
primarily in their Jim Morrison lookalike lead singer Michael Hutchence. 
Only one problem, Hutchence died.

Game over.  For Navarro and the remaining members of INXS.  In every world
but television.

Believing he can do no wrong, Mark Burnett has entered the music field.  Kind
of like Andy Lack.  I mean how hard can it be?

Really damn hard.  To find an artist with the innate ability to mesmerize you
from the depth of his soul.

Not that the business is interested in that anymore.  That’s too difficult. 
The key is to take all the risk out.  To paint the band by numbers.

But what is truly the failure with this show isn’t the music, but the
TELEVISION!  Television thrives on drama, on excitement.  And "Rockstar: INXS" is so boring as to be equivalent to watching paint dry.  But, at least paint doesn’t
sing.

The members of INXS are in the neighborhood of fifty.  They don’t deserve
another chance.  Oh, we like seeing them fly around in a jet with their name
painted on the side, then again, unless this was footage from the eighties,
Burnett just paid a crew to paint the letters on this jet, and I’m sure they were
promptly removed.  Hell, INXS hasn’t probably BEEN in a private jet since
Hutchence died.

And the wannabes.  They’re a sorry lot.  You wouldn’t want to hang with them.
 It would be like mixing with the sad sacks from high school.  Not the art
chicks, not the brainiacs, just the losers.

And they sing the songs…  Like they’re in a bar.

Their performances are just about demonstrating their power, their raw skill,
whereas the true greats, everybody from Bob Dylan to Ray Davies to even
Bonnie Raitt, are about ANYTHING but perfection.  It’s about personalizing the
song, emotion, not technique.

And even phonier than INXS and the wannabes is the audience.  I’ve been to
see bands at the Mayan who are STILL stars and I’ve never seen a gaggle of fans
mobbing their limos out front.  As a matter of fact, bands always enter
through the BACK DOOR!  And, sure, there are people hanging out there after the
show, looking to get laid, and maybe if they showed THIS on camera I’d be
interested, but all we saw were paid people applauding lame acts.

Never underestimate the power of television.  Based on "Survivor" and
"American Idol" I expected "Rockstar: INXS" to BE a success.  And for the album to
sell.  Think about all that EXPOSURE!  That’s what MTV is built upon.  Show it
enough and SOME lame sucker will line up and buy it.  After all, we live in a
country of three hundred million and the sale of one million CDs is seen as a
huge accomplishment.

But there’s no reason to watch this show.

The wannabes aren’t sexy.  They’re not talented.  You don’t care who wins and
loses.

And when Dave Navarro and INXS critique the performances, you wince.  Maybe
INXS is too nice to be honest, but they needed someone like Steve Jones on this
show, speaking the truth, telling these people they SUCK!  I mean that’s why
they tune into "American Idol", to see Simon, right?

Mark Burnett has misstepped here.  He’s like every overinflated impresario
before him.  He thinks his shit doesn’t stink, that ANYTHING he does is good.

I can’t watch another episode.  It’s not just that I don’t care, it’s that my
life’s TOO SHORT!