Holyfuckingshit.

I’m not getting an iPhone. First and foremost because it’s tied to AT&T, and AT&T sucks. I could count the ways… Well, let me. Lost connections, shitty sound, lame high speed network… But AT&T isn’t my only reason for not lining up next week. I’m addicted to e-mail, I need it instantly, as soon as it comes in, I need a BlackBerry.

If you’re an e-mail person, if you need your messages automatically pushed to you, get a BlackBerry. It’s the Cadillac of the sphere.

But it’s not the BMW. And certainly not the Toyota. To use any of the additional features on the BlackBerry… Well, you can navigate the built-in help. But that’s so fucking slow and confusing that you only do it when you’re waiting in a doctor’s office, or killing time on the train, because it takes five or ten minutes MINIMUM to find what you’re looking for. If you can at all.

You see the BlackBerry just isn’t intuitive.

And the Web-surfing? I do it, but it’s not like using Safari. It’s not like being in front of my computer. How come I can’t have a simple homepage that’s always the same? How come when I want to change a setting on my BlackBerry it’s almost impossible, I have to go ONLINE for the answer?

But I’ve been living down on the farm, I haven’t been to Paree.

I just watched the iPhone Guided Tour. Now I’ve been to Paree.

Will the iPhone be successful? That’s an interesting question that I am not going to debate right now. Could be it’s just the Macintosh. An overpriced device way ahead of its time. But that 1984 Macintosh, it contained the essence of computing today. The icons, the point and click interface…there’s been refinement since, but no revolution.

Watch this iPhone demo. And you’ll realize, instantly, that you’re seeing the future of mobile devices. Those Nokias, Motorolas and LGs will never be the same again, never mind the BlackBerries and Treos.

Sure, the iPhone looks cool. But the essence is not the hardware, but the SOFTWARE! The USABILITY! They say that Mac users employ more applications, utilize more features of their computers than PC users? Well, iPhone users are gonna do shit on their handheld device that you wouldn’t even DREAM of doing on your smartphone. Because even if the device contained the feature, YOU WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE IT!

I still can’t do conference calling on my BlackBerry. And using the speakerphone is a challenge too. But on the iPhone, the buttons on the bottom of the screen…THEY’RE SELF-EXPLANATORY! If you’ve been using a Mac, the learning curve will be almost NONEXISTENT!

And the features we’ve all wanted but have never found… Like being able to fast-forward through individual voice mail messages, to repeat salient features, like a phone number… No other handset I’ve used allows you to do this!

I’m waiting for Jobs and Apple to fuck this one up.

But it hasn’t happened yet. From the jaw-dropping reveal at Macworld in January to the announcement of the on-sale date to the ads to this demo, execution has been PERFECT! How come NO OTHER COMPANY CAN DO THIS?

Really, this demo… It’s just an explanation of how the iPhone works. But you stay riveted, you want to click and buy the damn thing, because it’s so well done, so professional, so easily understood. They’re not talking above or beneath you. You get the idea that you could get an iPhone and be comfortable IMMEDIATELY!

Oh, teenagers can navigate the menus of their handsets. But nearly every adult I know is challenged by his mobile device. Shit, haven’t they just come out with phones that do LESS for oldsters?

It’s kind of like VCRs. Boomers could never figure out how to use them. A TiVo is just a glorified VCR, but with better SOFTWARE!

That’s what Apple’s got here, better software. No one can compete with them, probably ever, or at least in the next five years. Because you’ve got real OS X with features laden atop it. Windows Mobile? ARE YOU KIDDING?

There’s no instant push e-mail. The keyboard might not be for road warriors. Will you be able to see the screen in the sun?

The battery’s not removable. It’s a Jobs device, it’s the one HE wanted to make, not the one the committee would approve of. But he got it right with the iPod. From the looks of it, he got it right with the iPhone too. The iPod wasn’t the first MP3 player, just the most easily used, the best. From the looks of it, the iPhone is a category killer. And the people buying iPhones won’t all be Mac users, no, with iTunes and the iPod Steve Jobs has convinced those living on the dark side of Apple’s superiority. Why SHOULDN’T the iPhone work? Their iPod does!

The original Macintosh was underpowered and overpriced. It didn’t have a hard disk. You had to swap floppies constantly. None of this was in the "1984" ad. We won’t know how great the iPhone truly is until next weekend. But one thing’s for sure, it’s a breakthrough, it’s the future, TODAY!