"And that’s the theme of our program for tonight.  It’s so fucking great to be alive is what the theme of our show is tonight boys and girls…

And I wanna tell ya…

If there’s anybody here who doesn’t believe _that it is fucking great to be alive I wish they would go now, because this show will bring them down so much!"

Some of the fun of being a rock fan is quoting the lyrics.  And some of my absolute favorites come from the Mothers’ "Fillmore East – June 1971".  You know the record, the one wherein Mark Volman, playing the role of the groupie, asks Howard Kaylan if he/she can come in the bus.  And Howard says: "Come in the bus, huh? Tomorrow we’re in ah, let’s see…Tierra del Fuego."  When I heard that lyric I had no idea where Tierra del Fuego WAS!  But I’ve used that line ad infinitum in the ensuing thirty years.  If people ask me where I’m going, where I’m coming from.  It rarely gets a rise, but it makes me feel good, to be aligned with Frank’s irreverence, his sense of humor.

But the lines at the top.  I love them too.  Whenever I’m revving up, whenever I’m starting to have a good time.  Like in the old days, when I was two or three beers in on a night of…TESTING THE LIMITS!  I did find the limits once or twice, but my failure to do so on a regular basis caused me to give up alcohol, because when you fall short, it’s nasty.  Still, I LOVE that feeling of leaving the trappings behind, getting totally involved in the trip, wanting no one along who doesn’t feel the same way, imploring them to get with the program or GET OFF! I don’t want to be brought down when I’m about to have a peak experience.

And today was a peak experience.  Today I felt it was so great to be alive.  Because of the WEATHER!

Yes, New York is the greatest city in the world.  Best museums, everything available.  But living in L.A…  It can’t be beat.  It’s like living in the suburbs with city accoutrements, in a perennially great climate.  When it’s in the eighties in NOVEMBER, without a cloud in the sky, HOW CAN YOU COMPLAIN??

And I’m driving down the avenue, listening to the radio, and I hear CSNY’s "Ohio".  It sounded so GOOD!  Reminds me I’ve got to get that new Neil Young "Fillmore East" album.  And Steven Tyler belting "Rag Doll" was pretty great too.  But "Jamie’s Cryin’" was AWESOME!

I laughed when I first saw Van Halen.  Opening for Nils Lofgren at the Santa Monica Civic in March of ’77.  David Lee Roth reminded me of no one so much as Jim Dandy, and I HATED BLACK OAK ARKANSAS!  Then the album came out.  And I heard "Runnin’ With The Devil".  And I had a hard time squaring my previous perception.

You couldn’t avoid "Runnin’ With The Devil".  But what truly stunned me was when Van Halen "II" was released.  I was in Rhino Records on Wilshire Boulevard, and the asshole clerks, who always found a way to insult my purchases, were going on what a great guitarist Eddie Van Halen was.  HUH?

Then came "1984".

That album was the soundtrack of the summer, even more than "Appetite For Destruction" was a few years later.  That’s when you knew things were heating up at the Rainbow.  When they started to spin "1984".  It wasn’t just "Jump".  It was "Top Jimmy", about the local performer, and my personal favorite, "I’ll Wait".  "Jump" had the joy Frank Zappa was talking about above.  Didn’t matter what you felt about Van Halen before, NOW you couldn’t resist.  You became a fan.  Which is why I finally broke down and purchased a Van Halen record.  And discovered "I’ll Wait".  Which too had a synth intro, but possessed a late night darkness completely the opposite of "Jump".

And those were crazy nights.  With the old, embittered Zeppelin road manager in the corner.  The girl from "Hustler" waiting to get laid.  The Scorpions in the circular booth.  That’s when the heavy metal lifestyle WAS the rock lifestyle.

And even though I gave up on the Rainbow when I got fired by Andy Taylor, I didn’t give up on Van Halen.  I bought "5150" the day it came out.  And played that vinyl to gray.  That album is FULL of great tracks, but the stellar cut, the one I played ad infinitum, was the second side opener, "Best Of Both Worlds".  Oh, the DYNAMICS in Eddie’s playing.  Going from loud to soft, dancing on the fretboard, THIS is the kind of music you play if you’re preparing to have the greatest night of your life.  And Sammy’s vocal is pure, but the lyrics…are pedestrian.  David Lee Roth never wrote pedestrian lyrics.

At this point my favorite Van Halen track is "And The Cradle Will Rock…".  I got into the song when they put out the first greatest hits album, it finally revealed its greatness.  Oh, I’d heard it on the radio plenty, but when it came pouring out of the speakers in MY house, when I could play it again and again, I became ENRAPTURED!

You can play "Metal Machine Music" to separate the men from the boys, but most of the men can’t listen to that either.  I remember I was on an Internet date, far out in the West Valley, and I cued "And The Cradle Will Rock…" up in my car and the girl covered her ears and FREAKED OUT!

No go.  She’s history.

That sound.  Like an eruption.  Like a rocket’s about to go off.  Like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar is EXPLODING!  It’s PURE MAGIC as the intro.

But then Dave’s lyrics are so…OFF THE WALL!  This is PURE ANGST!  For every teenage boy sneaking out in the middle of the night.  And then in the middle of the break, when Dave utters the non sequitur, "Have you seen Junior’s grades…", you’re confronted with the power of rock and roll, the ATTITUDE!

But "And The Cradle Will Rock…" is not the best Van Halen song.  That’s either "Runnin’ With The Devil" or "Jamie’s Cryin’".

I bought the debut at the advent of the CD revolution.  In 1988, when we were informed that vinyl was dead.  I first got some of my favorite albums.  Then, I ventured out, to records I’d never previously purchased.  Like this.  I needed to hear "Runnin’ With The Devil" whenever I wanted.  And I listened to that plenty.  But the song that I got hooked on was "Jamie’s Cryin’".

The track begins with a swagger, Alex lays down a quick drum fill and Eddie starts wailing, but with a soulful feeling.  Then Dave starts to sing.

She saw the look in his eyes
N’ she knew better
He wanted her tonight
And it was now or never

Are you gonna give it up?  Are you gonna come in the bus, or are you going to retain your dignity?

Jamie decided on the latter.

Now Jamie wouldn’t say all right
She knew he’d forget her
N’ so they said ah-good night
Oh, and now he’s gone forever

She had her CHANCE!  To fuck a rock star.  She took the risk of feeling creepy at the end, but it would be a story that would stick with her forever, that she could tell.  But maybe that’s the problem, sex is forever, you never forget.

And then the track takes a wild turn!

Despite the intro, despite Eddie working out, to this point "Jamie’s Cryin’" is not a cut above.  It’s workmanlike.  And THEN!

She wants to send him a letter, uh yeah yeah
Uh, just to try to make herself feel better
It said ‘Gimme (Gimme a call sometime)’
But she knows what that’ll get her

The music takes a left turn, it’s a bridge out of a BEATLE SONG!  However, twisted via the Sunset Strip.  And the SENTIMENT!  Jamie missed her one big chance.  She’s got REGRETS!  She wants another CHANCE!

She’s gonna fire off a letter to…whom?  The address on the back of the album?  Is it ever going to reach him?  Is he going to REMEMBER HER?  Did he feel what she did?

Well, she can’t appear desperate, so she’s gonna be cavalier.  Not here’s my number and I’m available at these hours and don’t call when my mom is home, but offhanded, GIMME A CALL SOMETIME!  I can live without it, but if you reach out I’ll suck your dick, I’ll let you tie me up in a knot, I’ll be your slave, GIVE ME A RING!

Yes, you can sense the desperation.  She’s trying to retain her dignity.  But does she WANT TO??

But what puts this bridge, this interlude, over the top, is the BACKGROUND VOCALS!  Which almost sound stupid in a heavy song like this, they’re something out of a bubble gum record, the kind producer Ted Templeman used to cut when he was a singer, and they’re far from pure.  But they’re the ESSENCE OF ROCK AND ROLL!  Because you feel the joy in the performance, you can’t help but JOIN IN!

I’m driving in my car, alone, and I raise my head and sing GIMME A CALL SOMETIME!  And then smile and crack up.  And wait for my next cue.

Now Jamie’s been in love before (ahh-ahh)
And she knows what love is for (ahh-ahh)
It should mean a little, a little more (ahh-ahh)
Than one night stands

Yup, do your part.  Sing the "ahhs", be part of the Greek chorus.

Yes, this ain’t no schoolgirl crush.  No summer camp fling.  This is beyond that.  She put on her halter top, straightened her hair and caked on makeup.  She was out looking for it.  Not exactly sure what it was until she almost got it.

It’s not supposed to be this way.  You’re supposed to get to know them first.  Then again, she DOES know him, she’s listened to his record over and over.  But her father warned her not to give it up too soon.  What would HE think.  Does this make her a slut?  But the feeling down there, the juices are flowing, it’s taking all of her power to hold back.  WHY?

And that’s what happened in the dawning days of ’64.  All across America kids who’d been doing what they were told, who were into the swim team and arts and crafts, TOSSED IT!  To FOLLOW THE BEATLES!

Without the Beatles, there’s no Van Halen.  There’s no testing limits.  There’s none of this great rock and roll.

The music got heavier.  Sabbath was even darker than Zeppelin.  But then the sound was filtered through a Southern California ethos, and we got Van Halen.

It might seem stupid to you, but if it does, you’ve never let go.  You’re too inured, too INVESTED in who you are, in what you represent.  You’ve got to be dignified.  Where you went to school is important.  You’ve got to have the right clothes.  You’ve got to be seen at the right parties.  Whereas Van Halen is saying FUCK THAT!  Come join the ROCK AND ROLL CIRCUS!

Have some fun.

Or you could end up like Jamie, crying in her room, thinking about what could have been.