{"id":806,"date":"2007-05-24T08:12:42","date_gmt":"2007-05-24T16:12:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/archives\/2007\/05\/24\/american-idol-finale-2\/"},"modified":"2007-05-24T08:12:42","modified_gmt":"2007-05-24T16:12:42","slug":"american-idol-finale-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/2007\/05\/24\/american-idol-finale-2\/","title":{"rendered":"American Idol Finale-2"},"content":{"rendered":"

GLADYS KNIGHT<\/strong><\/p>\n

Does everybody get to sing their new single?<\/p>\n

Hell, didn’t you oldsters with no chance of getting on the radio get the memo that NOBODY CARES!<\/p>\n

And why do the new numbers have to be so LOUSY?\u00c2\u00a0 What, is Diane Warren on vacation?\u00c2\u00a0 Did somebody lose Max Martin’s phone number?<\/p>\n

TONY BENNETT<\/strong><\/p>\n

I heard " Shoo-Be-Doo-Be-Doo-Da-Day" on XM last week.\u00c2\u00a0 Stevie Wonder killed even BEFORE "Talking Book".\u00c2\u00a0 Somehow, Tony has drained all the magic from Stevie’s song.<\/p>\n

But that reaction shot of Paula, PRICELESS!\u00c2\u00a0 What planet does she live on?\u00c2\u00a0 One where the residents have Swiss cheese between their ears?<\/p>\n

God, if only Stevie Wonder came on this show and killed, like Prince at the Super Bowl.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, there’s still over an hour left!<\/p>\n

THE ENCEPHALITIC TWIT AND HIS OBESE BUDDY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Who knew Howard Stern had a network show?<\/p>\n

Are they laughing WITH you or AT you.<\/p>\n

That’s not the society I want…\u00c2\u00a0 Wherein we make fun of the physically deformed.\u00c2\u00a0 So, they get a day in the sun, but we’re laughing at their expense.\u00c2\u00a0 This seems no different from the shenanigans at the Colosseum back in Rome.<\/p>\n

MELINDA DOOLITTLE<\/strong><\/p>\n

The true winner.\u00c2\u00a0 Better voice than Gwen.<\/p>\n

Did she lose because she was semi-pro to Blake and Jordin amateur?\u00c2\u00a0 Or could it be her lack of personality, smiling and snorting at everything?\u00c2\u00a0 Want people to love you, to vote for you, HAVE AN EDGE!<\/p>\n

So far, she’s the best thing on this show.<\/p>\n

Oh, except for Gladys Knight doing "Midnight Train To Georgia".<\/p>\n

TIME AFTER TIME<\/strong><\/p>\n

You know things are fucked up when the music in the commercials is better than that on the show.\u00c2\u00a0 God, if only someone could cut a track as good as this Cyndi Lauper classic today.\u00c2\u00a0 It didn’t sound like anything else then, why does everything have to sound like what’s already on the radio NOW?<\/p>\n

CARRIE UNDERWOOD<\/strong><\/p>\n

Knows her roots, wearing her jeans.\u00c2\u00a0 But haven’t we seen this get-up before, this act before, with FAITH HILL?<\/p>\n

That’s your "American Idol" for you…\u00c2\u00a0 Originality is not part of the equation.<\/p>\n

As for her rendition of the Pretenders song, Chrissie Hynde is probably having a panic attack.\u00c2\u00a0 A fiddle on "I’ll Stand By You"?<\/p>\n

I’d like to say this slides off of me like an egg on teflon, but the rough edges catch, you remember the bad more than the good.<\/p>\n

And she sports the Cameron Diaz factor…i.e. she doesn’t have a complexion made for HD.<\/p>\n

CLIVE DAVIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

Was there a music business before Clive?\u00c2\u00a0 Really…<\/p>\n

God, he’s promoting Taylor Hicks’ new single!\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, I haven’t seen such a shameless plug since Macy Gray wore that dress with her album drop date on the VMAs!<\/p>\n

Oh, it’s getting worse.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s stroking the judges.\u00c2\u00a0 Is this a retirement dinner?\u00c2\u00a0 Are we at the Beverly Hilton?<\/p>\n

Now he’s hyping the professional songwriter.\u00c2\u00a0 Hey Clive, THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE BUSINESS!\u00c2\u00a0 You ruined it.\u00c2\u00a0 Once people stopped writing and performing their own material, producing it sans label interference, the business went downhill.\u00c2\u00a0 We connect to what comes from inside, THAT’S why we pledged fealty to the artists, we RELATED TO THEM, where they were coming from.\u00c2\u00a0 Now they’re just two-dimensional vessels for hacks like you to sell evanescent crap.\u00c2\u00a0 Sorry Clive, I don’t buy your act.\u00c2\u00a0 Like that old Jim Carroll song says, I’m just a constant warning to take the other direction.<\/p>\n

As for giving Carrie Underwood an award.\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t you get it?\u00c2\u00a0 This is the Grammy that she didn’t GET!<\/p>\n

Nobody goes home award-less in America.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, it’s like giving your kid who can’t kick the ball a trophy for sitting on the bench for his last place soccer team.<\/p>\n

AFRICAN CHILDREN’S CHOIR<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m flummoxed.\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t quite get the angle.<\/p>\n

Is this a race thing?<\/p>\n

No mention of AIDS in Africa?\u00c2\u00a0 No mention of the oppression and starvation on that continent?\u00c2\u00a0 Just a bunch of young kids, with more soul than the contestants, here to entertain us, like the African-Americans of yore?<\/p>\n

SANJAYA<\/strong><\/p>\n

Howard Stern takes credit for something he had little to do with and proves he no longer matters by Sanjaya’s failure to get to the closing rounds.<\/p>\n

As for Joe Perry…\u00c2\u00a0 He shows up and they play a KINKS song?<\/p>\n

Oh, Ray Davies wouldn’t be recognizable enough.<\/p>\n

But would Ray do it?<\/p>\n

I’ve seen better performers at the JCC.<\/p>\n

Joe Perry never would have done this if David Krebs were still his manager.\u00c2\u00a0 Can’t anybody say NO anymore?<\/p>\n

And the wind machine.\u00c2\u00a0 What, is Sanjaya related to Cindy Crawford?<\/p>\n

As for the crying girl…\u00c2\u00a0 She’s evidence of the true American religion…MANIPULATION!<\/p>\n

GREEN DAY\/WORKING CLASS HERO<\/strong><\/p>\n

I love that Billie Joe.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s so cute, you could eat him up!<\/p>\n

But why the fuck are THEY on this show?\u00c2\u00a0 "American Idiot" didn’t sell enough?\u00c2\u00a0 They’re everything Linkin Park is not, why are they slumming?\u00c2\u00a0 And this song works because of the pain in John Lennon’s voice.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not a standard, if you’re not willing to leave blood on the saddle, don’t sing this.<\/p>\n

I’m disappointed in my little Billie Joe.<\/p>\n

This is slowing the show down.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not quite a drum solo, but HEY, what’s in the fridge?<\/p>\n

This is one of the best things so far, but it’s a cheap shot.<\/p>\n

Would John Lennon do this?\u00c2\u00a0 OF COURSE NOT!<\/p>\n

God, they bled in John’s voice at the end…\u00c2\u00a0 So, I guess we’ve got to STILL hate Yoko.\u00c2\u00a0 Couldn’t Sean stop this?\u00c2\u00a0 Is John Lennon in danger of being forgotten?\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, the Beatles are fading away, Steve Jobs doesn’t want their music on iTunes…<\/p>\n

Are Michelangelo’s relatives on Leno working his legacy?\u00c2\u00a0 Trying to get people to go to the Sistine Chapel?<\/p>\n

Utter bullshit.<\/p>\n

HELL’S KITCHEN PROMO<\/strong><\/p>\n

Well, everybody’s got to eat.\u00c2\u00a0 Reality TV thrives because of the drama.\u00c2\u00a0 But the more they manipulate it, the more they threaten the franchise.<\/p>\n

TAYLOR HICKS<\/strong><\/p>\n

How did he win?<\/p>\n

But at least his single is better than Kelly Clarkson’s.\u00c2\u00a0 But it too is not a smash.\u00c2\u00a0 Clive, you hyped it, how come it’s not a winner?<\/p>\n

And on a live show, he’s singing to tape…\u00c2\u00a0 He’s not making any fans here.<\/p>\n

But I love the "Green Onions" keyboard!<\/p>\n

I’m starting to get the feeling Daughtry is not gonna appear on this show.\u00c2\u00a0 Isn’t it funny that the only Idol with any credibility, having had a hand in composing his material, refuses to show up.\u00c2\u00a0 How could he get it so right, and Green Day so WRONG?<\/p>\n

RUBEN STUDDARD<\/strong><\/p>\n

At least he can SING!<\/p>\n

I’m sure it’s ONE HELL of a service at the church he broke out of!<\/p>\n

He and Jordin are doing a good version of this old Peaches & Herb number, it’s got more soul than Green Day’s John Lennon cover.\u00c2\u00a0 Gold star for whomever picked this song.<\/p>\n

Wait a second, they’re getting a little Donny & Marie…\u00c2\u00a0 Enough googly-eyes and tiny dance steps!<\/p>\n

And speaking of dance steps, why is Paula standing?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not a METALLICA SHOW!<\/p>\n

GIRL IN AXE AD<\/strong><\/p>\n

More starpower than Jordin.\u00c2\u00a0 She’d eat Blake ALIVE!\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, I’d tune in for that…\u00c2\u00a0 Pay Per View, next week!<\/p>\n

BETTE MIDLER<\/strong><\/p>\n

A sappy song for a sappy show.\u00c2\u00a0 "Wind Beneath My Wings" is the sappiest hit she ever had.\u00c2\u00a0 Couldn’t she have raved it up with "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy"?<\/p>\n

This is her territory, she started in the Continental Baths, she knows camp…so why isn’t she camping it up HERE?\u00c2\u00a0 She looks like she’s going to a college mixer circa 1969, or attending parents’ weekend at her kid’s school.\u00c2\u00a0 Other than the leather skirt…she’s positively MOM-LIKE!<\/p>\n

Bette’s more about performance than voice.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s not coming across great here.<\/p>\n

I just realized what this show is missing…SIMON!\u00c2\u00a0 We need more\u00c2\u00a0 Simon.\u00c2\u00a0 Enough with Ryan Seacrest, the human equivalent of cardboard.<\/p>\n

SGT. PEPPER MEDLEY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Didn’t the movie stiff?<\/p>\n

"Sgt. Pepper" was a breakthrough, this is a run around the track.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what Kelly’s doing, right?\u00c2\u00a0 Running in place, getting in shape for her tour?<\/p>\n

Doesn’t she do anything other than belt?\u00c2\u00a0 Last time I listened, "Sgt. Pepper" had moments of subtlety…<\/p>\n

Taylor Hicks…\u00c2\u00a0 I’m blown away, he not only doesn’t suck, he’s actually selling this.\u00c2\u00a0 "A Day In The Life" of Taylor Hicks, a hick nobody from nowhere who got a victory lap in front of the whole country, a good ride before he goes back home to sell cars.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, shit, he’s starting to belt, he’s out of tune…\u00c2\u00a0 Why does everybody have to show ALL their chops in EVERY song?<\/p>\n

Carrie Underwood…\u00c2\u00a0 "She’s Leaving Home" is not a country number, sung by someone who believes in hearth and family, it’s a tale of no understanding, a young girl leaving home for a better life in a faraway place like San Francisco.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s when there was hope, forty years ago, in 1967.\u00c2\u00a0 Irrelevant of what life was truly like in the city by the bay, San Francisco was a beacon, it pointed the rest of us towards a better life, where we weren’t sheep, but fully realized human beings following our own paths.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, now she’s belting.\u00c2\u00a0 That girl SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE!\u00c2\u00a0 She didn’t stand at the foot of the stairs, belting her story out so her parents would come down in their PJs and do a dance number before she left.<\/p>\n

Ruben…\u00c2\u00a0 You can’t hate him, but something is wrong here.\u00c2\u00a0 Wrong key?\u00c2\u00a0 He’s singing this straight, not realizing back in the day we were wondering, was "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" really about LSD\/a drug trip?\u00c2\u00a0 Now they’re ALL into it!\u00c2\u00a0 Have everybody participate in "Yellow Submarine", not "Lucy In\u00c2\u00a0 The Sky".<\/p>\n

"With A Little Help From My Friends".\u00c2\u00a0 Makes Ringo look like a genius.\u00c2\u00a0 His offhanded way of singing this, with his less than magical voice.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what we’re looking for in our stars.\u00c2\u00a0 We don’t want perfect confections, but imperfect artists speaking truth that we can CONNECT WITH!<\/p>\n

You don’t tackle "Sgt. Pepper".\u00c2\u00a0 What next, "The Wall"?\u00c2\u00a0 Better some Michael Jackson album…<\/p>\n

WORLD RECORD VOTE<\/strong><\/p>\n

Wait a second, who are they competing with?\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t they own the record?<\/p>\n

So Jordin wins…\u00c2\u00a0 Wasn’t this predictable?\u00c2\u00a0 When we got down to the final two anyway?<\/p>\n

So now Jordin is the American Idol…<\/p>\n

Who won "Survivor"?\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, who won the Oscar for Best Actress?\u00c2\u00a0 The World Series, the Super Bowl?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s all about the competition, not the winner, we forget the winner..<\/p>\n

Well, usually.\u00c2\u00a0 But we’re going to be subjected to Jordin hype for the better part of a year.\u00c2\u00a0 You’d think she actually had some talent, but she doesn’t.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s just another high school singer.<\/p>\n

Our country has so little to rally around, so little to unite us, so little we can debate.\u00c2\u00a0 We’ve stopped going to the movies, listening to mainstream music.\u00c2\u00a0 Now we belong by watching manufactured TV competitions.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s how we relate to our coworkers.\u00c2\u00a0 By discussing the nuances.\u00c2\u00a0 Fox and 19 are doing us a favor, adding soul to our lives.\u00c2\u00a0 But if only the rallying point had more substance, if only we revered true talent, innovation, creativity, intellectual ability.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead, we celebrate mediocrity, people with pretty faces who we’d like to have over for dinner.\u00c2\u00a0 Danger’s for those in Iraq, not us coddled babies back here in the States.<\/p>\n

With so much poverty, so much depression, so much struggle, why are these not acknowledged in the mainstream media?\u00c2\u00a0 The classic acts of the past spoke from their hearts, unrestricted by convention, we not only loved their work, and still do, but saw them as role models, of human development.\u00c2\u00a0 We felt if we only got closer to them, our lives would work.<\/p>\n

Anybody who thinks getting closer to Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan will make their life work is a putz.<\/p>\n

Creativity, talent, originality…they’re now at the bottom of the barrel.\u00c2\u00a0 But the populace is yearning for them to come back.<\/p>\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

GLADYS KNIGHT Does everybody get to sing their new single? Hell, didn’t you oldsters with no chance of getting on the radio get the memo that NOBODY CARES! And why do the new numbers have to be so LOUSY?\u00c2\u00a0 What, is Diane Warren on vacation?\u00c2\u00a0 Did somebody lose Max Martin’s phone number? TONY BENNETT I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-media"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p96vPs-d0","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=806"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}