What a crock of shit this is.\u00c2\u00a0 God, how can we save the earth when we can’t even save the MUSIC BUSINESS!<\/p>\n
Maybe you weren’t alive back in ’69, but let me tell you, the reason Woodstock was so appealing, why everybody was enticed, why it went from who cares to a must go was the LINEUP, they had fucking EVERYBODY!\u00c2\u00a0 Joe Cocker is getting traction on FM radio with "She Came In Through The Bathroom Window"?\u00c2\u00a0 Shit HE’S gonna be there.\u00c2\u00a0 The Who, cresting big time with "Tommy"?\u00c2\u00a0 THEY’RE gonna be there.\u00c2\u00a0 The legendary Jefferson Airplane.\u00c2\u00a0 The outre Country Joe and the Fish.\u00c2\u00a0 It was a HAPPENING!<\/p>\n
I wouldn’t cross the fucking street to see the lineup at the New York Live Earth show.\u00c2\u00a0 And phone me when Genesis and the Police hit the London stage, then I might tune in.<\/p>\n
God, remember when music had power, when music could change the world?\u00c2\u00a0 How the fuck is the world gonna change with these lame acts:<\/p>\n
Kanye West.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, the press loves him, but we all know the only rapper with cred, the one everybody truly wants to see, the genius, is Dr. Dre.\u00c2\u00a0 And he ain’t on this bill.<\/p>\n
AFI?\u00c2\u00a0 Well, if there were more superstars, I’d give this band a pass.\u00c2\u00a0 They’ve got a cult audience.\u00c2\u00a0 Then again, they were supposed to break through big time last year, and they didn’t.<\/p>\n
Kelly Fucking Clarkson?\u00c2\u00a0 Where’s the cred here?\u00c2\u00a0 Who’s gonna follow this chick ANYWHERE?\u00c2\u00a0 Isn’t she the one who won the TV talent contest, and then sang a hit written by a fifty year old in Sweden?<\/p>\n
Akon.\u00c2\u00a0 Hit of the minute, forgotten tomorrow.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe forgotten by time this concert actually happens on 7\/7.<\/p>\n
KT Tunstall.\u00c2\u00a0 Love her, but she’s a club act.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s swallowed whole by a venue like Giants Stadium, her music becomes MEANINGLESS!<\/p>\n
Alicia Keys…\u00c2\u00a0 An overrated hack.\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, she ripped off "It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World" for her one big hit and she’s only marginally more important than Whitney Houston, Clive Davis’ hype of a decade previous.\u00c2\u00a0 Come on, sing a couple of her original songs, I DARE YOU!<\/p>\n
Ludacris.\u00c2\u00a0 Loved him in "Crash", but isn’t he ALREADY A HAS-BEEN?<\/p>\n
Bon Jovi.\u00c2\u00a0 "Slippery When Wet" is the best hair metal album ever cut.\u00c2\u00a0 But Jon Bon Jovi is a smiling idiot, he’s WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS BUSINESS!\u00c2\u00a0 Never takes a stand for fear of alienating a potential audience member.\u00c2\u00a0 THIS is the guy who’s gonna deliver us from the sun’s rays?\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t think so.\u00c2\u00a0 I wouldn’t follow this guy ANYWHERE!<\/p>\n
Sheryl Crow.\u00c2\u00a0 Come on, you knew she’d be on this bill.\u00c2\u00a0 God, she can’t be left out, she can’t be FORGOTTEN!\u00c2\u00a0 Who’s she appealing to here?\u00c2\u00a0 Soccer moms whose kids are already in college?\u00c2\u00a0 Like her audience is gonna tune in to this travesty?<\/p>\n
Melissa Etheridge.\u00c2\u00a0 I liked her better when she was an alienated lesbian decrying the sad state of gays in society.\u00c2\u00a0 Then she became the poster girl for homosexuals, the one Bill Clinton trotted out again and again, and she lost her edge.\u00c2\u00a0 And a good deal of her fan base too.<\/p>\n
Dave Matthews Band.\u00c2\u00a0 Stars.\u00c2\u00a0 Who don’t do endorsements.\u00c2\u00a0 Who people believe in.\u00c2\u00a0 Better it be JUST the Dave Matthews Band than the rest of these hacks.\u00c2\u00a0 Didn’t we learn that with the package tours of the late nineties?\u00c2\u00a0 That one plus one doesn’t equal three, oftentimes not even two, but one at most?\u00c2\u00a0 Put Neil Young or the Allman Brothers atop the hippie bill at H.O.R.D.E. and business goes DOWN!\u00c2\u00a0 Their fans won’t come out.\u00c2\u00a0 They don’t want to endure crap, and they think they’re gonna get a short show.\u00c2\u00a0 Yeah, like Dave’s gonna play for three hours here…<\/p>\n
Rihanna.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what we’ve got a RAINBOW COALITION!\u00c2\u00a0 MTV is history.\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, originally MTV was rock only, then it expanded to Michael Jackson and black music.\u00c2\u00a0 But now all the scenes are ghettoized again, people interested in Rihanna don’t give a shit about Dave Matthews, and vice versa.<\/p>\n
Fall Out Boy.\u00c2\u00a0 Well, at least they’re big NOW!<\/p>\n
Roger Waters…\u00c2\u00a0 Live 8 gets the whole band, and Live Earth gets the guy who can’t sing.\u00c2\u00a0 Laughable.<\/p>\n
Smashing Pumpkins.\u00c2\u00a0 NOBODY CARES!\u00c2\u00a0 The band is not doing the promoters a favor, but just the opposite, the Pumpkins need EXPOSURE!<\/p>\n
John Mayer.\u00c2\u00a0 Sheryl Crow once removed.\u00c2\u00a0 Like I’m supposed to believe in the guy fucking Jessica Simpson.<\/p>\n
The Police.\u00c2\u00a0 The one certified killer headliner…<\/p>\n
Hell, let’s fly across the pond to England:<\/p>\n
Beastie Boys.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe they’re playing in the U.K. to hide the fact that very few care in the U.S. anymore.\u00c2\u00a0 They peaked OVER A DECADE AGO!<\/p>\n
Black Eyed Peas.\u00c2\u00a0 Make me puke.\u00c2\u00a0 They can only appear if Alanis comes out and does her parody of "My Humps".<\/p>\n
Bloc Party.\u00c2\u00a0 Legitimate.\u00c2\u00a0 They’ve got traction in the U.K., they get a pass.<\/p>\n
Corinne Bailey Rae.\u00c2\u00a0 Bloc Party once removed.\u00c2\u00a0 She has a career, but nobody’s gonna follow her ANYWHERE!\u00c2\u00a0 This is just another promotional performance, who can believe what a woman who writes such vapid lyrics has to say?<\/p>\n
Damien Rice.\u00c2\u00a0 "Cannonball" was years ago.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s past his peak.<\/p>\n
David Gray.\u00c2\u00a0 Damien Rice with a few more memorable tracks.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s over in the U.S., although he does have some fumes in the U.K.\u00c2\u00a0 But he’s not a stadium act.<\/p>\n
Duran Duran.\u00c2\u00a0 Legitimate superstars.\u00c2\u00a0 And hipper than Bon Jovi, which has NO EDGE!<\/p>\n
Foo Fighters.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe if Dave Grohl reunited with Krist and Courtney Love sang.\u00c2\u00a0 Foo Fighters are a second-rate band that wouldn’t even be on a bill like this twenty years ago.<\/p>\n
Genesis.\u00c2\u00a0 The Police of the U.K. show.\u00c2\u00a0 Coming back from retirement.\u00c2\u00a0 Stars.<\/p>\n
Keane.\u00c2\u00a0 God, they’ve got no career momentum.<\/p>\n
Madonna.\u00c2\u00a0 Surprising she’s not best friends with Sheryl Crow, she wouldn’t miss an opportunity to hype herself, she’s got to be at the PARTY!\u00c2\u00a0 Too bad her music is completely meaningless now.\u00c2\u00a0 Even Lourdes is more cutting edge.<\/p>\n
Paolo Nutini.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s a story here.\u00c2\u00a0 How such a new act gets on this bill.\u00c2\u00a0 Someone was owed a favor here.<\/p>\n
Razorlight.\u00c2\u00a0 Reasonable traction in the U.K., okay.<\/p>\n
Red Hot Chili Peppers.\u00c2\u00a0 Stars.\u00c2\u00a0 Even bigger in the U.K. than the U.S.<\/p>\n
Snow Patrol.\u00c2\u00a0 I dig them.<\/p>\n
As you can see, the U.K. lineup far exceeds that of the U.S.\u00c2\u00a0 Still, it falls curiously flat.\u00c2\u00a0 You see we just don’t have STARS ANYMORE!<\/p>\n
Oh, they could reunite the acts of the past.\u00c2\u00a0 But you’d have to pay Jimmy and Robert.\u00c2\u00a0 And too many of the oldsters are TOO OLD!<\/p>\n
Yup, this is what the modern era has delivered us.\u00c2\u00a0 Few stars.\u00c2\u00a0 And even fewer you can believe in.\u00c2\u00a0 Only Bon Jovi seems to have survived MTV.\u00c2\u00a0 And in the modern file-trading era, no one’s bubbled up in the U.S. yet.<\/p>\n
This ain’t no Live Aid, this ain’t no national holiday, this ain’t no stay inside and watch the tube all day affair.<\/p>\n
God, just look at the Live Aid lineup:<\/p>\n
\nStatus Quo
Style Council
Boomtown Rats
Adam Ant
INXS
Ultravox
Loudness
Spandau Ballet
Bernard Watson
Joan Baez
Elvis Costello
The Hooters
Opus
Nik Kershaw
The Four Tops
B.B. King
Billy Ocean
Black Sabbath
Sade
Run DMC\u00c2\u00a0
Sting
Rick Springfield
Phil Collins
REO Speedwagon
Howard Jones
Autograph
Bryan Ferry
Crosby, Still & Nash
Udo Lindenberg
Judas Priest
Paul Young – Alison Moyet
Bryan Adams
U2
The Beach Boys
Dire Straits & Sting\u00c2\u00a0
George Thorogood & the Destroyers\/Bo Diddley\/Albert Collins
Queen
David Bowie\/Mick Jagger
Simple Minds
David Bowie
The Pretenders
The Who
Santana\/Pat Metheny
Elton John
Ashford & Simpson\/Teddy Pendergrass
Elton John\/Kiki Dee\/Wham!\u00c2\u00a0
Madonna
Freddie Mercury\/Brian May\u00c2\u00a0
Paul McCartney
McCartney\/Bowie\/Pete Townshend\/Alison Moyet\/Bob Geldof
Tom Petty
Kenny Loggins
The Cars
Neil Young
The Power Station
The Thompson Twins
Eric Clapton
Phil Collins
Robert Plant\/Jimmy Page\/John Paul Jones
Duran Duran
Patti LaBelle
Hall & Oates\/Eddie Kendricks\/David Ruffin
Mick Jagger
Mick Jagger\/Tina Turner
Bob Dylan \/Keith Richards\/Ron Wood<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\nFuck the Live Earth lineup.\u00c2\u00a0 They’d be better off trying to recreate this TWENTY YEAR OLD SHOW!\u00c2\u00a0 Even the complete has-beens are better than most of what’s on today’s bill.\u00c2\u00a0 Come on, who wouldn’t rather see Ultravox than Akon or Kelly Clarkson?\u00c2\u00a0 And doesn’t Status Quo still tour?<\/p>\n
Live Nation and Kevin Wall are operating under the illusion that it’s still 1985, that we live in one big happy world united by music.\u00c2\u00a0 We don’t.\u00c2\u00a0 You want stars, we’ve got ’em, they’re just not musicians.\u00c2\u00a0 Steve Jobs is bigger than any of the acts on these new bills.\u00c2\u00a0 And he’s STILL HOT!\u00c2\u00a0 He’s not on a nostalgia tour.<\/p>\n
What a sad sad state of affairs we’re in.\u00c2\u00a0 When there’s no music to believe in.<\/p>\n
I say wipe the slate clean of the labels, the video channel employees and Live Nation too.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re just trying to prop up what once was, even though the underpinnings are completely rotten.\u00c2\u00a0 We’ve got no belief in major music today.\u00c2\u00a0 Nothing that can sell a lick that anybody cares about.\u00c2\u00a0 So why should we follow these tools of the system when they stand up and tell us to fight global warming?\u00c2\u00a0 Aren’t these the SAME culprits whored out to the Fortune 500 companies who are PERPETUATING THE PROBLEM?<\/p>\n
I saw the movie.\u00c2\u00a0 If you want to get me riled up, let’s all march on Washington, protesting the policies of George W. Bush.\u00c2\u00a0 Or stop buying SUVs.\u00c2\u00a0 Do something that counts rather than watch these idiots, slaves to the system, either live or on the Web.<\/p>\n
Where’s John Lennon when you need him.\u00c2\u00a0 Gimme some truth.\u00c2\u00a0 Tell me that music’s been ruined, that there’s nothing to believe in, and we’ve got to start all over from SCRATCH!<\/p>\n
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