No one knew what satellite radio was until Howard Stern signed on.<\/p>\n
And people hate Howard.<\/p>\n
Suddenly satellite radio went from something cool, the new iPod, into the same old thing, but you pay for it.<\/p>\n
I mean who wants to pay for Howard Stern?\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, his show is better than ever, but it’s all about freeing HIM, not servicing YOU!\u00c2\u00a0 He was constrained by the FCC, not you.\u00c2\u00a0 And suddenly you got the same old thing, except it cost you $12.95 a month.\u00c2\u00a0 Sure, diehard fans were happy to pay.\u00c2\u00a0 But most Stern listeners were not.\u00c2\u00a0 Only a fraction followed him to satellite.<\/p>\n
Great way to build a business.\u00c2\u00a0 Giving the middle finger to your audience.\u00c2\u00a0 Telling people you need to feel free to make $100 million, but really you’re all in this together.\u00c2\u00a0 Bullshit.<\/p>\n
And those not into Howard Stern, they were happy to stay away from the stink.<\/p>\n
But what about XM?<\/p>\n
X what?<\/p>\n
Suddenly, satellite became synonymous with Sirius.\u00c2\u00a0 Howard hyped it everywhere he went, for a year before he could even be heard on the service.<\/p>\n
And then Mel Karmazin followed him there.<\/p>\n
Mel Karmazin is the number two poster boy for everything Americans hate about radio.\u00c2\u00a0 Number one, of course, is the Mays family\/Clear Channel.\u00c2\u00a0 But wasn’t it Mel who turned CBS Radio into an advertising juggernaut?\u00c2\u00a0 And everywhere he went after signing on to Sirius, Mel babbled about how he was going to sell so much advertising.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, satellite radio was Howard Stern with commercials.\u00c2\u00a0 And you had to PAY FOR IT!\u00c2\u00a0 People were turned off.<\/p>\n
Most people have never heard satellite radio.\u00c2\u00a0 They’ve got no idea of its charms.<\/p>\n
Then again, if you listen to Sirius, it doesn’t sound that different from terrestrial.\u00c2\u00a0 The deejays are jive and the records are repeated endlessly.\u00c2\u00a0 But you’ve got STARS!\u00c2\u00a0 Curious, don’t you think.\u00c2\u00a0 In an era where the stars on television are the hoi polloi, where everyman is what most people want to see, they suddenly want to PAY to hear the bloviations of people who have no previous history in radio?<\/p>\n
Now if you need Howard, Sirius is the only place to go.<\/p>\n
And if you buy a Sirius-ready car, you’ll find the service is superior to terrestrial, so maybe you’ll keep up your subscription.<\/p>\n
But where’s the growth?<\/p>\n
Suddenly signing up satellite subscribers is a grind.\u00c2\u00a0 The kind Mel Karmazin works with his salesmen.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead of people flocking to buy it, like Windows switchers to Macs, you’ve got to convince people.\u00c2\u00a0 And that’s tough.<\/p>\n
XM had it right.\u00c2\u00a0 The service was growing organically.\u00c2\u00a0 Its best salesmen were its subscribers.\u00c2\u00a0 But you can’t sell XM to non-subscribers anymore.\u00c2\u00a0 They know all about satellite.\u00c2\u00a0 Losing money and desperately begging for a merger.\u00c2\u00a0 Battling with terrestrial and iPods.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, does the iPod cite the Walkman as competition?\u00c2\u00a0 But we’ve got Mel all over the media saying Sirius and XM have no choice but to merge, because of all the competition.\u00c2\u00a0 Does U2 have competition?\u00c2\u00a0 Even Coldplay?\u00c2\u00a0 Great bands generate their own desire.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s only crap bands that have to fight for their spot in the marketplace.<\/p>\n
I’m getting a bad feeling that the Sirius\/XM merger is a fait accompli.\u00c2\u00a0 That all of Mel’s whining is going to convince the regulators.\u00c2\u00a0 And this is sad.\u00c2\u00a0 Because what’s lost in translation is satellite radio’s PROMISE!<\/p>\n
Oh, don’t tell me about Net radio.\u00c2\u00a0 First and foremost, you can’t get it in your car, and won’t be able to for a while.\u00c2\u00a0 Never mind that too much of it is unlistenable.\u00c2\u00a0 And HD radio?\u00c2\u00a0 The amount of money thrown towards programming wouldn’t keep XM or Sirius afloat for minutes.\u00c2\u00a0 No, satellite radio is the answer, if only they could make it cool again.<\/p>\n
I don’t think Mel is interested in making Sirius cool.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s just interested in the bucks.\u00c2\u00a0 Which is why satellite is being dragged down.\u00c2\u00a0 But XM?\u00c2\u00a0 Can XM be cool again?\u00c2\u00a0 Can XM be saved by a repositioning, a separation from Sirius?<\/p>\n
XM is not terrestrial without the commercials.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a different philosophy.\u00c2\u00a0 The deejays don’t talk jive and the playlists are varied.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that anybody but subscribers knows this, because nobody has told them!<\/p>\n
The future is about filters.\u00c2\u00a0 XM is a filter today!\u00c2\u00a0 But it’s been positioned so poorly, it’s dying on the vine.<\/p>\n
While Hugh Panero focused on car deals, he did no soulful marketing.\u00c2\u00a0 And, didn’t plan for car owners to switch the service off, because the vibe on satellite is so bad in the community.\u00c2\u00a0 Buying satellite is like buying a Zune.\u00c2\u00a0 What kind of chump lays hard-earned money down for crap?<\/p>\n
First and foremost XM has got a perception problem.\u00c2\u00a0 Sirius does too, but it’s going to use this merger to triumph.\u00c2\u00a0 But what if the merger doesn’t happen?\u00c2\u00a0 What if regulators finally see that competition is best?\u00c2\u00a0 Can XM sell itself again?\u00c2\u00a0 Can it get people to believe and spread the word?\u00c2\u00a0 That’s its challenge.<\/p>\n
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