Now even I want to fuck John Taylor.<\/p>\n
I only know Steve Jones as the guy who used to ride his motorcycle right up to the front door of his apartment in Beverly Hills, right next door to that of my quasi in-laws.<\/p>\n
Well, I know Jonesy as the guitarist of the Sex Pistols.<\/p>\n
But that was a long time ago.\u00c2\u00a0 How does Jonesy survive today?<\/p>\n
By being a deejay.<\/p>\n
You might not have gotten the memo if you don’t live in L.A., but Steve Jones is the middle of the day deejay, the anchor of Indie 103.1, L.A.’s hippest radio station (oh, if you think it’s KROQ, you’re not listening…KROQ is like MTV, a has-been playing to a lowest common denominator.)<\/p>\n
So Jonesy has got this new show, Jonesy’s Jukebox Jury, where they play seven or eight tracks and four jurors comment.<\/p>\n
Yesterday, I was a juror.<\/p>\n
It was me.\u00c2\u00a0 Shepard Fairey, art director, designer of Black Eyed Peas albums and the Indie 103.1 logo.\u00c2\u00a0 Kate Sullivan, music editor of the "L.A. Weekly".\u00c2\u00a0 And John Taylor, of Duran Duran.<\/p>\n
I thought they would greet me with open arms, after all, they tracked ME down.<\/p>\n
But Jonesy seemed to have no idea who I was.<\/p>\n
Oh, the office was glorious, like out of a movie set.<\/p>\n
Then I found out all those desks were related to the Spanish stations, and Indie 103.1 was just an outpost, an oasis in the vast sea of foreign language revenue generators.<\/p>\n
So I’m led through security into the tiny studio, where Jonesy is speaking with some guy, whom I ultimately find out is Shepard Fairey.<\/p>\n
Now yesterday it was raining in L.A.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that bad, not a downpour, you didn’t even need an umbrella.\u00c2\u00a0 But Jonesy was dressed for a brisk English morning, as if he just blew the cold off his hands before entering the studio.\u00c2\u00a0 He had a military jacket on, buttoned all the way up to his chin.\u00c2\u00a0 And a white knit cap.<\/p>\n
I figured he’d release the ensemble as the show wore on.<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
Who looks like this, who dresses like this?\u00c2\u00a0 A ROCK STAR!<\/p>\n
For a member of an intense, limit-testing band, Jonesy was low-key and friendly.\u00c2\u00a0 You’d never know he was a Sex Pistol unless YOU KNEW!<\/p>\n
When Jonesy asked me my story, I knew I was in trouble.\u00c2\u00a0 This was gonna be an uphill fight.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, you get used to having a profile, people knowing who you are, what to expect, it’s weird to be that asshole with an opinion that everybody derides again.<\/p>\n
And then in came John and Kate.<\/p>\n
Kate…\u00c2\u00a0 A short, effervescent chick with a smile on her face.\u00c2\u00a0 Who seems to have dedicated her life to rock and roll.<\/p>\n
John Taylor…\u00c2\u00a0 An ADONIS!<\/p>\n
Over forty, but not overweight.<\/p>\n
Yet not plastic-surgeried to youth.<\/p>\n
He had no attitude, he had a smile on his face.\u00c2\u00a0 What must HIS life been like?\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, to be THAT good-looking and charismatic.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, his biography must be MUCH different from mine!<\/p>\n
And then we go live, and Jonesy asks us all for a bit of history.<\/p>\n
And John says "I start bands."<\/p>\n
I butt in, did he START Duran Duran?<\/p>\n
YUP!<\/p>\n
And then the show began.<\/p>\n
We ended up listening to eight tracks.\u00c2\u00a0 Each one of them SUCKED!<\/p>\n
Well, you had to say "pants" or "mustard".\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t ask me why.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, I can’t even remember.\u00c2\u00a0 I believe pants was bad, mustard good.\u00c2\u00a0 But there were so many variations, "pantaloons", "Gulden’s mustard"…<\/p>\n
And John’s being charitable, and Shepard, who’s also a deejay, a CLUB deejay, isn’t being TOO negative.\u00c2\u00a0 You can tell Kate wants to say worse shit, but doesn’t.\u00c2\u00a0 But me?\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, isn’t that what you pay me for, THE TRUTH?<\/p>\n
Well, I wasn’t getting paid.<\/p>\n
And it was like "Springtime For Hitler".\u00c2\u00a0 Their mouths were agape.<\/p>\n
They all hated Pearl Jam’s cover of "Love, Reign O’er Me", but when I start desecrating Eddie Vedder they were speechless.\u00c2\u00a0 Until Jonesy asked me whether I’d say that IN FRONT OF EDDIE!<\/p>\n
OF COURSE!<\/p>\n
Shit, that’s the territory.\u00c2\u00a0 You become famous, you take the barbs.\u00c2\u00a0 THAT’S WHAT YOU GET PAID FOR!<\/p>\n
And I can’t get over Eddie lying about his past.\u00c2\u00a0 Saying he was a brooding social misfit when he was the star of his high school play, one of the most popular kids in his class.<\/p>\n
Oh, the tracks…\u00c2\u00a0 Most of them you’d never know.\u00c2\u00a0 Except for Goldfrapp.\u00c2\u00a0 I kind of liked that.\u00c2\u00a0 I gave it yellow mustard.\u00c2\u00a0 And John liked where she was coming from.\u00c2\u00a0 But Shepard and Kate weren’t into it.<\/p>\n
And that was fascinating.\u00c2\u00a0 The more out there, the crunchier and more offensive the guitars were, the more everybody else liked the tracks, and the more I hated them.\u00c2\u00a0 It was like we were coming from different universes.\u00c2\u00a0 And the other three started referencing bands I’d never heard of.\u00c2\u00a0 I felt a bit inadequate.\u00c2\u00a0 But these acts…DID ANYBODY GIVE A SHIT?<\/p>\n
It seems there’s an insular world, and I’m not a member.\u00c2\u00a0 But is anybody other than those in the indie rock world?\u00c2\u00a0 Is what’s hip a SIDESHOW?\u00c2\u00a0 Is "American Idol" more mainstream, more PALATABLE than this crap?\u00c2\u00a0 And like I said, except for a very few very mild mustards, everybody else hated all the tracks too.<\/p>\n
And then John posited that it had all been done.\u00c2\u00a0 That after decades, maybe you couldn’t say anything new with a guitar, bass and drums.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that he was complaining.\u00c2\u00a0 Just slipping out an idea, like a woman married to another guy, and not exquisitely happy about it, flirting with you.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, she’s got no intention of leaving her spouse, but you feel some sort of CONNECTION!<\/p>\n
And since conversation had slowed down, since I seemed the only one UP, I took control, I started asking John Taylor questions.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, I had a bona fide rock star in my presence!<\/p>\n
I mean I’m not star-struck.\u00c2\u00a0 But this guy wasn’t aloof, and wasn’t an asshole.\u00c2\u00a0 It was like sitting down with James Bond.<\/p>\n
I asked how Duran Duran had come back, after laying fallow for years.\u00c2\u00a0 I’d seen them at KROQ’s Acoustic Christmas in 1991, when they’d closed the show, and debuted "Ordinary World".<\/p>\n
"Ah…’, John chuckled.<\/p>\n
They needed to write a hit.<\/p>\n
But they weren’t coming up with one.<\/p>\n
The deal was they’d write a few songs and bring them into Capitol.\u00c2\u00a0 And then they’d get more money.\u00c2\u00a0 They were being paid by the week.\u00c2\u00a0 Since they’d blown through so much MONEY!<\/p>\n
Oh, the expression on John’s face as he said this.\u00c2\u00a0 Revealing truth, yet laughing.\u00c2\u00a0 Like he’d lived a life you never would, but was not putting you down for it.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, isn’t that what a rock star DOES?<\/p>\n
Well, finally they went into Capitol with "Ordinary World", and the label gave them a budget for a complete album.<\/p>\n
Actually, that record had two great tracks, "Ordinary World" and "Come Undone".<\/p>\n
Not that they’ve been able to equal them since.\u00c2\u00a0 But shit, it doesn’t matter in the eyes of their fortysomething audience, who loved them back then.<\/p>\n
And I was enraptured by "Girls On Film".\u00c2\u00a0 I own "Rio".\u00c2\u00a0 But Simon LeBon was always a bit puffy, a bit over the top.<\/p>\n
But that good-looking guy in the background, playing bass…\u00c2\u00a0 There WAS something ABOUT that guy.<\/p>\n
There still is.<\/p>\n
Oh, he didn’t want my e-mail address after, didn’t want to keep in contact.<\/p>\n
None of them did.<\/p>\n
Except for the producer, who said they might call me again.<\/p>\n
I did a good job, didn’t I?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s RADIO, isn’t it?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s about ENTERTAINMENT, right?<\/p>\n
Actually, Kate finally realized who I was when I referenced that I did a Sunday night show on KLSX while doing MY bio on the air.\u00c2\u00a0 She pointed at me and said YOU’RE THAT GUY!\u00c2\u00a0 I LOVE THAT SHOW!<\/p>\n
And I’m walking out of the building.\u00c2\u00a0 Feeling a bit shitty about myself.\u00c2\u00a0 Like I’m the same asshole I’ve ever been.\u00c2\u00a0 Twentysomething, looking for my future, futilely, once again.<\/p>\n
But to be in the presence of two rock stars, to feel their CHARISMA!\u00c2\u00a0 That was WORTH IT!<\/p>\n
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