It doesn’t matter who’s nominated, nobody’s paying attention.<\/p>\n
The Grammys were a laughable experience so unhip as to be off the radar until Mike Greene became head of NARAS.\u00c2\u00a0 This exec with the passion and ego of an artist single-handedly revved up the organization and its TV show until it MATTERED!\u00c2\u00a0 Those in charge now are caretakers akin to Al Teller at MCA after Irving Azoff.\u00c2\u00a0 Azoff is cut from the same cloth as Greene.\u00c2\u00a0 He’s a WILD MAN!\u00c2\u00a0 HE single-handedly created a contender out of the moribund Music Cemetery of America.\u00c2\u00a0 But, after just shy of a decade, the cunning, charismatic charmer wanted to throw off the reins, make that money for HIMSELF!\u00c2\u00a0 Teller coasted on Irving’s signings for a few years, and then MCA crashed.\u00c2\u00a0 Because Teller is a manager, but at the helm of a label you need an egomaniac, an INNOVATOR!<\/p>\n
And that’s what you need at NARAS too.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, they blew out the force of nature Greene, maybe he ultimately dared them to, with his actions, but they didn’t realize you need someone with the same BALLS, the same CHUTZPAH, the same TALENT in order to have the organization move forward, grow, STAY WITH THE TIMES!<\/p>\n
If NARAS was just initials, just an organization of old musicians without a TV show, who the fuck would care.\u00c2\u00a0 But with that vaunted TV show, that Mr. Greene blew up into a monolith, as that old seer said, all eyez are on them, and one HAS to criticize the ineptitude, the INACTION!<\/p>\n
Did you know the record business is in trouble?\u00c2\u00a0 Yes, I know it might be hard to believe, but those major labels, presently jockeying for position on the Grammy show, are in desperate straits.\u00c2\u00a0 You see the public is rejecting their wares.\u00c2\u00a0 They think mass-produced crap is…JUST THAT!\u00c2\u00a0 In cahoots with an ever-narrowing radio landscape, the major labels have delivered cartoon-like acts with a sheen so bright it blinds the audience, making them turn away.\u00c2\u00a0 As far as a major label is concerned, it’s about Top Forty and Top Forty only, in a world where Top Forty is an island in a sea of change, where what’s OUTSIDE Top Forty is so much more important than the mainstream pop and urban fare the hit outlets purvey.<\/p>\n
Yes, junior.\u00c2\u00a0 Music is so tame, so lame, that even MTV NO LONGER AIRS IT!\u00c2\u00a0 When the supposed arbiter of hip abandons a whole art form, you’ve got to scratch your head, you’ve got to pay attention, you’ve got to say WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?<\/p>\n
Actually, MTV is the culprit.\u00c2\u00a0 MTV eviscerated the credibility from music.\u00c2\u00a0 It was like heroin to record execs.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead of signing and promoting GOOD stuff, INTERESTING stuff, they focused on what MTV would play.\u00c2\u00a0 Because if MTV played it, they were going on a rocket ship to the MOON!\u00c2\u00a0 They were gonna sell more records than they ever dreamed of, they were gonna make SHITLOADS of money!\u00c2\u00a0 Actually, it’s not so different from Detroit focusing on SUVs.\u00c2\u00a0 To then be eclipsed by the Japanese, who figured out how to sell the luxury-liners AS WELL as econoboxes that made money.\u00c2\u00a0 Toyota has eclipsed Ford as the number two carmaker.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s probably gonna surpass GM.\u00c2\u00a0 Detroit was asleep at the wheel.\u00c2\u00a0 Its PRODUCTS stunk.\u00c2\u00a0 And the same thing is gonna happen to the major labels.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, their catalogs will sell, but with the Net an open playing field, with the younger generation not even tuning into radio, some young ‘un is gonna come along and steal music just like Bill Gates stole computing from IBM.<\/p>\n
Not that you’d know that from these nominations.\u00c2\u00a0 Who the fuck would be interested in who wins these awards?\u00c2\u00a0 Certainly not those determining the FUTURE!\u00c2\u00a0 Just check the atrocious ratings for the Billboard Music Awards if you want proof.\u00c2\u00a0 Kids have moved on.\u00c2\u00a0 To MySpace, YouTube and P2P.<\/p>\n
The Grammys are a circle jerk that no one is interested in.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re completely out of touch, NOT reflective of the heart and soul of music.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re just a mirror of what’s wrong.\u00c2\u00a0 I hope your nomination makes you feel good, because it DOESN’T MEAN SHIT!<\/p>\n
USED to be people tuned into the Grammys, looked at who won the awards, to find out what to buy.\u00c2\u00a0 But the Grammy bounce has evaporated with the show’s ratings.\u00c2\u00a0 NO ONE TRUSTS THE MAINSTREAM ANYMORE!<\/p>\n
If NARAS is truly in the TV show business, if it’s really all about the telecast, they’ve got to retool the show.\u00c2\u00a0 They’ve got to make it hip.\u00c2\u00a0 So the PUBLIC will think it’s hip.<\/p>\n
In the heyday of music, when sales BLEW UP, thirty five years ago, when album rocked ruled, when MANY acts could sell out stadiums, the Grammys were giving awards to old farts.\u00c2\u00a0 Because those in charge, like the media in general, couldn’t see that times had changed.\u00c2\u00a0 The show got a reprieve in the era of Mr. Greene, because the nineties were all about MAINSTREAM!\u00c2\u00a0 Yes, capped by ‘N Sync selling two million CDs in one week.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, don’t you remember those dot com years?\u00c2\u00a0 After Kurt Cobain died and took the business with him, before we KNEW THIS?\u00c2\u00a0 It was just one big happy family.\u00c2\u00a0 And the Grammy show was evidence of this.\u00c2\u00a0 But those days are gone.<\/p>\n
THAT’S the story of the twenty first century. NICHE!\u00c2\u00a0 Or, to put it another way, EVERYBODY FINDING HIS OWN THING!\u00c2\u00a0 We all don’t want to see the same crummy blockbuster, with people blowing shit up.\u00c2\u00a0 And we don’t want to see Tom Cruise in ANYTHING, because that guy is LAUGHABLE!\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, just go online and read the blogs, he’s a JOKE!<\/p>\n
The Net, the blogs…\u00c2\u00a0 NARAS really blew it here.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead of out of touch execs meeting behind closed doors, they should have had a Grammy Website, where the PUBLIC weighed in.\u00c2\u00a0 Created some excitement BEFORE the nominations.\u00c2\u00a0 You get people involved on the ground floor and they’ll stay with you to the end, through the TELECAST!\u00c2\u00a0 If you don’t care about ratings, then this is irrelevant.\u00c2\u00a0 But NARAS ONLY cares about ratings, their CBS contract FUNDS them.\u00c2\u00a0 And, although the contract has years left, the ratings positively STINK, they’ve been SINKING, DRAMATICALLY!<\/p>\n
Maybe if the NARAS people saw what the public thought, they’d get their heads out of their asses.<\/p>\n
Now Mike Greene created a million categories to drive up membership.\u00c2\u00a0 Those days are through.\u00c2\u00a0 There are TOO MANY categories.\u00c2\u00a0 If you can’t get nominated for a Grammy, you’re not a musician.\u00c2\u00a0 Cut the list.\u00c2\u00a0 Make it MANAGEABLE, make it MEAN something.<\/p>\n
And create new categories.\u00c2\u00a0 Most E-Mailed track.\u00c2\u00a0 Most TRADED track.\u00c2\u00a0 Just put in SOMETHING hip, SOMETHING to acknowledge the sea change in the music universe.<\/p>\n
As for the show, turn it into a train-wreck.<\/p>\n
Yes, the Grammys must lose their dignity, like every other asshole who thought they were sitting on high before the Net showed they were wearing no underpants, LITERALLY in the case of Britney Spears.<\/p>\n
The show’s got to open with a reuniting of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, they’ve got to come out holding hands.\u00c2\u00a0 Or approach each other from each side of the stage and then KISS!<\/p>\n
And then Britney’s got to give Kevin a humanitarian award, or a lifetime achievement award or something.\u00c2\u00a0 Something that actually SEEMS real, but isn’t.\u00c2\u00a0 DON’T start with ANY song.\u00c2\u00a0 Remember, the most memorable opening for the MTV Music Video Awards was Pee Wee Herman after he stroked his weenie.<\/p>\n
And then you had RuPaul and Milton Berle.\u00c2\u00a0 And their famous exchange.\u00c2\u00a0 Pair up Paris Hilton and Donald Rumsfeld.\u00c2\u00a0 Have her talk about taking him out partying.<\/p>\n
Do a remote to some college dorm room.\u00c2\u00a0 Akin to those Hampshire College episodes they used to have on SNL.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, get Tina Fey to write a skit.<\/p>\n
And how about a filmed piece, a PARODY, like the MTV Movie Awards.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe with Billy Ray Cyrus dressing up in a tux, thrilled that his daughter Miley is gonna win Album of the Year for her "Hannah Montana" disc.<\/p>\n
Make it funny, make it fun.\u00c2\u00a0 Fuck the respect, like I said, people DON’T respect the music anymore, not the music nominated here.\u00c2\u00a0 Just the music that’s NOT mentioned\/played here.<\/p>\n
As for the awards…\u00c2\u00a0 They’re irrelevant.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, MTV learned that long ago.\u00c2\u00a0 Make it a memorable SHOW!\u00c2\u00a0 Put the rehearsals up on YouTube.\u00c2\u00a0 Have AOL Music sponsor a contest, determining WHO GETS TO PLAY ON THE SHOW!\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, instead of taking phone calls from Clive Davis, have his group go to a rehearsal studio and cut a track live, that people will VOTE ON!<\/p>\n
And in these days of social networking, allow the PUBLIC to be on the show.\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, win a chance to dance behind Beyonce (oh, you know she’ll be on the show, whether her album qualifies or not).<\/p>\n
How about a public presenter?<\/p>\n
And how about the editor of Pitchforkmedia.com giving away the alternative award?<\/p>\n
Really, get down in the pit with the people, the hoi polloi.\u00c2\u00a0 You’ll dig it, once you’ve thrown off your airs, you’re FREE!<\/p>\n
Music is in transition.\u00c2\u00a0 Looking at the Grammy nominations, you wouldn’t get this.<\/p>\n
Mary J. Blige is good, but not new.\u00c2\u00a0 James Blunt is no different from Christopher Cross.\u00c2\u00a0 The Dixie Chicks should only be nominated if they agree to get up on stage and say YOU SEE, WE WERE RIGHT!\u00c2\u00a0 Gnarls Barkley should get the award in the first fifteen minutes, building to this anticlimax is a waste of three hours.\u00c2\u00a0 As for Corinne Bailey Rae, her nomination PROVES how out of touch and irrelevant these awards are.\u00c2\u00a0 If you think this record or she is the future of music, then your future must suck.\u00c2\u00a0 Talk to me in twenty years, when she’s forgotten and some new Bonnie Raitt-type character will be lauded.\u00c2\u00a0 Yes, Bonnie Raitt eventually got her Grammys, TWO DECADES after cutting her first album on four track in the upper Midwest.\u00c2\u00a0 Whereas Corinne Bailey Rae is all shined up for consumption, all promoted by Capitol, all so nice, all so BLECCH!<\/p>\n
And really, how much must music suck if John Mayer is up for Album of the Year.\u00c2\u00a0 Really, what do you want to take to a desert island, second-level Tull, "Thick As A Brick", or CONTINUUM!\u00c2\u00a0 I won’t let you take "Stand Up", or "This Was".\u00c2\u00a0 They weren’t nominated.<\/p>\n
But Ian and the boys won the heavy metal category years later.<\/p>\n
Today’s Tull is being ignored here, in its infancy.\u00c2\u00a0 These awards are not hip.\u00c2\u00a0 The show is a travesty.\u00c2\u00a0 Could Michael Greene fix this situation?\u00c2\u00a0 I’m not sure, but at least he’d TRY!<\/p>\n
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