I was stretching late last night and "California" came on my iPod.<\/p>\n
I have a ritual.\u00c2\u00a0 Every time I cross the California border, I play this song.\u00c2\u00a0 At least I used to, when I drove a 2002 with a "Blue" cassette riding shotgun in the passenger seat, ready for insertion.<\/p>\n
I always saw "California" as an optimistic song, one of hope and relief.\u00c2\u00a0 But last night I heard a sadness.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what great songs do.\u00c2\u00a0 They evolve as you listen to them, new meanings are revealed and you fall in love with them all over again.<\/p>\n
In the middle of "California" last night I was no longer thinking of that park in Paris, France or the redneck on the Grecian isle.\u00c2\u00a0 For right smack dab in the middle was this truth that resonated.<\/p>\n
Oh it gets so lonely Loneliness is the curse of humanity.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe in some foreign culture it’s embraced, but not in America, never has been.\u00c2\u00a0 Whether back in the sixties or today.\u00c2\u00a0 Watch MTV, all the shows are about drinking together.\u00c2\u00a0 But if you’re truly a member of a group, if you truly have a life, you’re not watching these shows, you’re out living it up.\u00c2\u00a0 But most people are not living it up.\u00c2\u00a0 Most people are looking to fit in, and wondering what they’re going to do when the connections they have end, don’t relationships always seem to end, at least fade out and not even radiate?<\/p>\n People speak of the romance of travel.\u00c2\u00a0 But if you’ve ever taken to the sea and sky alone you know the depths of mood you feel during moments of your excursion, they’re depressing, sometimes terrifying.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re miles from your reference points.\u00c2\u00a0 You can’t get back to where you belong with a snap of your fingers.\u00c2\u00a0 You’ve got to endure the pain.\u00c2\u00a0 And that’s what Joni Mitchell is speaking of here.<\/p>\n Somehow in our fucked up world erudition and vocabulary pass for great writing.\u00c2\u00a0 Whereas great writing is simple, it goes down like an ice cream cone, all smooth, all sensation.\u00c2\u00a0 Great writing is not labored, it’s just unadorned truth.\u00c2\u00a0 Don Henley and Jackson Browne are masters.\u00c2\u00a0 But they sit below Joni Mitchell.\u00c2\u00a0 Hearing a Joni Mitchell record is like being in the same room with the woman.\u00c2\u00a0 Like she knocked on your door and came in and is telling her story.\u00c2\u00a0 You feel a connection lacking in the records of media stars.\u00c2\u00a0 You feel no stardom, you just feel you’re in the presence of a person.<\/p>\n "Blue" is the apotheosis.\u00c2\u00a0 Because of its naked simplicity.\u00c2\u00a0 And numbers like "A Case Of You" and "The Last Time I Saw Richard".\u00c2\u00a0 There’s no unnecessary adornment, just naked truth.<\/p>\n Unfortunately, it’s "Court and Spark" that was the breakthrough.\u00c2\u00a0 And casual listeners are not familiar with the intimacy Joni provided prior to that point.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s a sheen to "Court and Spark" that didn’t exist earlier.<\/p>\n Joni blew up.<\/p>\n And then she was done.\u00c2\u00a0 Commercially.\u00c2\u00a0 But she released one of her greatest albums ever when no one was looking, "Hejira".<\/p>\n I had the same experience listening to "Coyote" doing this podcast last week that I did hearing "California" last night.\u00c2\u00a0 I heard something I never did before.<\/p>\n There’s no comprehending Ain’t that the truth.\u00c2\u00a0 We’re supposed to be impressed by the hit and runs of the celebrities, recounted in the tabloids, but how fulfilling do you think those relationships are?\u00c2\u00a0 Between these people who frequently have nothing more in common than their fame.<\/p>\n There’s the vibration between being connected, yet alone.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, there’s one more line after the ones above, "And still feel related".\u00c2\u00a0 That’s how it is in the best relationships.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re together, but you still feel so separate.<\/p>\n But "Coyote" is only the introduction, it’s far from the best track on "Hejira".\u00c2\u00a0 That’s "Song For Sharon".<\/p>\n But you’ve got to listen to "Amelia".\u00c2\u00a0 With the sound of flying alone embedded.\u00c2\u00a0 Amelia Earhart was going somewhere, as Joni is in this song, they’re on a mission, but around them is not people, but air.\u00c2\u00a0 Ultimately life is a solo journey, yet you can’t spend too much time contemplating this, it would freak you out.\u00c2\u00a0 So, you continue on your path, hoping you get somewhere better, and the journey will deliver its own reward.<\/p>\n It’s the magical sound of "Amelia" that gets under your skin.\u00c2\u00a0 Like Joni is playing just for you.\u00c2\u00a0 Same deal with "Furry Sings The Blues".<\/p>\n "Refuge Of The Roads" evidences both wariness and hope.\u00c2\u00a0 If you go long enough, do you find fulfillment.\u00c2\u00a0 Or do you just learn how insignificant you are in the universe.<\/p>\n But it’s "Song For Sharon" that makes "Hejira" so special, so great.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s got the feel of the Staten Island ferry that Joni is riding upon, it seems as if you’re slowly bobbing up and down in the water.\u00c2\u00a0 But it’s the truth in the lyrics that resonates, that creeps you out.<\/p>\n Joni is telling her story, but it’s your story, our story.<\/p>\n A woman I knew just drowned herself That’s the truth of suicide.\u00c2\u00a0 We can understand it.\u00c2\u00a0 We don’t WANT to understand it, but we’ve been there, when everything doesn’t work.\u00c2\u00a0 If only they spoke of this in all the anti-suicide discourse.\u00c2\u00a0 How it’s natural to wonder if it’s worth it, and that in these moments only sheer perseverance will get you through.<\/p>\n And you must get through.\u00c2\u00a0 Because you have no idea what lies on the other side.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re truly the star of your own movie.\u00c2\u00a0 You don’t want to end it prematurely, do you?<\/p>\n I don’t know where the hell I’m going.\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes I don’t even know if I’m steering, if it’s even POSSIBLE to steer.<\/p>\n Everybody’s telling me what to do.\u00c2\u00a0 Yet they don’t seem to know who I am.<\/p>\n And that’s when I sing the final version of "Song For Sharon" to myself.<\/p>\n Sharon you’ve got a husband I’m a bit embarrassed by this week’s podcast.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ve revealed a bit more than I even realized.\u00c2\u00a0 But the explosions in my head somehow caused these words to come out.<\/p>\n I don’t really give a shit if you listen to me.\u00c2\u00a0 Like I said, I’m embarrassed.\u00c2\u00a0 But you should hear these songs.\u00c2\u00a0 You need to hear these songs.\u00c2\u00a0 For the human condition is in this record.\u00c2\u00a0 And you’re human.\u00c2\u00a0 And if you can just slow down enough to stop trying to avoid the loneliness, "Hejira" will resonate.<\/p>\n
When you’re walking
And the streets are full of strangers<\/em><\/p>\n
Just how close to the bone and the skin and the eyes
And the lips you can get
And still feel so alone<\/em><\/p>\n
The well was deep and muddy
She was just shaking off futility
Or punishing somebody
My friends were calling up all day yesterday
All emotions and abstractions
It seems we all live so close to that line
And so far from satisfaction<\/em><\/p>\n
And a family and a farm
I’ve got the apple of temptation
And a diamond snake around my arm
But you still have your music
And I’ve still got my eyes on the land and the sky
You sing for your friends and your family
I’ll walk green pastures by and by<\/em><\/p>\n\n