I don’t give a fuck.\u00c2\u00a0 If the South American dame knocked on my door I wouldn’t open it.\u00c2\u00a0 She was the most credible of Latin artists and then she came to America and blanded herself out to such a degree that she was unrecognizable to anybody who’d ever been exposed to her.\u00c2\u00a0 If only she could comprehend English, she never would have pursued this dumb path in the United States.\u00c2\u00a0 Wherein she looks less like Alanis Morissette circa 1995 and more like Charo circa 1975.<\/p>\n
I’m supposed to be ga-ga that Charlie Walk masterminded this incredible plan to resuscitate the dead record of a barely more than one hit wonder?\u00c2\u00a0 So he got together with Verizon V-Cast.\u00c2\u00a0 Did you ever count the number of people who actually HAVE that service?\u00c2\u00a0 Never mind those who give a shit about Shakira?\u00c2\u00a0 The tie-in with Yahoo WAS brilliant, allowing the hoi polloi to make their own videos.\u00c2\u00a0 But to strip in a track after the fact just alienates the core fan (assuming Shakira has any of these, which based on the sales of the CD BEFORE "Hips Don’t Lie" broke is questionable) showing that the major labels don’t give a shit about careers and artist development. They just need to look good TODAY!<\/p>\n
"Hips Don’t Lie" is the kind of irrelevant fodder that we used to sell in the seventies on AM radio, when everybody tuned out.<\/p>\n
Yes, THAT’S the story here.\u00c2\u00a0 Not the marketing plan, not how many downloads were recorded, not how many spins took place, but HOW FEW FUCKING PEOPLE CARE!<\/p>\n
It’s 1969 all over again.\u00c2\u00a0 Believe me, if there was a new Woodstock, the guys at the major labels wouldn’t even attend, they’d say it was IRRELEVANT!\u00c2\u00a0 That nobody was interested, that that’s not where the action is.<\/p>\n
We’re at a pivotal point in the movie.\u00c2\u00a0 It started last summer with Mariah Carey.\u00c2\u00a0 And now it’s plain as day with this Wyclef\/Shakira track.\u00c2\u00a0 A hit don’t mean shit.\u00c2\u00a0 Ubiquity is passe.\u00c2\u00a0 In other words, the only people who care about these manufactured wonders are the purveyors.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a giant circle jerk.\u00c2\u00a0 Participated in by the labels and what’s left of terrestrial radio.\u00c2\u00a0 They run this shit up the flagpole and then smile beatifically as if it means something.\u00c2\u00a0 And it DOESN’T!<\/p>\n
The only people who don’t know this is a manufactured hit are those who don’t care.\u00c2\u00a0 Yes, the people buying this single at iTunes, all 250,000 of them last week, like that’s a huge number in a country of 300 MILLION, are the lowest common denominator.\u00c2\u00a0 Those to whom music is an AFTERTHOUGHT!\u00c2\u00a0 Anybody with a brain, anybody who cares about music, has tuned this whole system OUT!\u00c2\u00a0 And is trolling on the Internet, listening to their buddies, finding out about shit that’s CREDIBLE, that they can BELIEVE IN!<\/p>\n
There was AM radio in the seventies.\u00c2\u00a0 Top Forty radio.\u00c2\u00a0 You can comb the "Billboard" charts and read what was played.\u00c2\u00a0 But AM radio was the last bastion of those who didn’t get the memo.\u00c2\u00a0 For all the hits of these artists, most couldn’t do SHIT on the road.\u00c2\u00a0 For the real action was over on AOR, where the career bands lived.\u00c2\u00a0 Believe me, "Afternoon Delight" was a HUGE hit, but Starland Vocal Band couldn’t draw a fly, whereas FM staples like Lynyrd Skynyrd were filling up stadiums.<\/p>\n
If you want to be on TV magazine shows.\u00c2\u00a0 If you want to be gossiped about in the tabloids.\u00c2\u00a0 If you want to SUPERSEDE the music you make with your identity.\u00c2\u00a0 THEN you belong on a major label.\u00c2\u00a0 Where they’ll pull out ALL the stops to make their quarterly numbers.\u00c2\u00a0 But if you’re a true artist, you won’t do anything for a buck.\u00c2\u00a0 You won’t sell your soul to the company man.\u00c2\u00a0 Your fans come first, and they know it.<\/p>\n
The more the mainstream beats its chest, saying it’s where it’s at, the greater the number of disaffected, looking elsewhere, for something that’s more than empty calories.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, the major labels will survive to purvey crap like "Hips Don’t Lie", but shit like this will be the sideshow.\u00c2\u00a0 As bands the majors pooh-poohed, steered by twentysomethings like Geffen and Azoff in their heyday, build careers on the Net and road and generate cash the supposed big players of today can only ENVY!<\/p>\n
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