Well, with the weather report predicting blistering cold, we didn’t rush out to the hill.\u00c2\u00a0 But, when we finally arrived at the Vista Bahn we were stunned to find out it wasn’t that cold, and barely windy at all, and CROWDED!\u00c2\u00a0 As crowded as Christmas.\u00c2\u00a0 Did I not get the memo?\u00c2\u00a0 Is President’s Day now a FOUR DAY weekend?<\/p>\n
And when we got to Mid-Vail, the maze at the Mountain Top Express was full.\u00c2\u00a0 So we went over to Lion’s Head and hit the groomers.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s our little secret.\u00c2\u00a0 For some reason, no matter HOW crowded Vail gets, there’s never a line at the Pride Express.\u00c2\u00a0 But as brilliant as the skiing was, after four runs over there we were burned out.\u00c2\u00a0 So we dropped into Game Creek Bowl.\u00c2\u00a0 Oftentimes host to some of the longest lines in Vail.<\/p>\n
But the lift line was only two or three minutes long.\u00c2\u00a0 And the skiing was GLORIOUS!\u00c2\u00a0 The Woods, a steep blue with trees in the\u00c2\u00a0 middle, was mighty fine.\u00c2\u00a0 But Dealer’s Choice, with not a soul on it, had the kind of snow that makes easterners cry.\u00c2\u00a0 It was just that good.\u00c2\u00a0 We were blowing down by the trees with shiteating grins on our faces.\u00c2\u00a0 It just doesn’t get any better than this.\u00c2\u00a0 And part of me wanted to stay, but I had a hankering to ski the Headwall in Sun Up\u00c2\u00a0 Bowl.<\/p>\n
A trip on the dreaded Mountain Top Express would be required to get there.\u00c2\u00a0 But, if the Game Creek lift had such a short line, shit, maybe Mid-Vail had cleared up.<\/p>\n
We dropped down the front side of the mountain once again.\u00c2\u00a0 Felice stopped in at Mid-Vail to hit the rest room.\u00c2\u00a0 Where she ultimately found no TP.\u00c2\u00a0 Thinking of Elaine in that "Seinfeld" episode, she asked for help from her next door stallmate.\u00c2\u00a0 Who responded with a grunt and then delivered ONE SQUARE of TP under the partition.\u00c2\u00a0 What, did she own the place?\u00c2\u00a0 She couldn’t spare any more?<\/p>\n
And, after laughing at that, we slid down to the Mountain Top Express, where there was a line no longer than the one at Game Creek.\u00c2\u00a0 Things were looking up.<\/p>\n
But when we got to the top of the mountain, the Host started waxing rhapsodic about where and where not to ski in the Back Bowls.\u00c2\u00a0 Because of the wind.\u00c2\u00a0 He was a folksy sort of gentleman, but he put the idea in Felice’s head that this was going to be an ordeal.\u00c2\u00a0 And I didn’t need this dude raining on my parade.<\/p>\n
And we drop down the backside to the catwalk, and it’s blowing, and Felice announces she’s NOT going to take that slow triple chair we got stuck on two days before.\u00c2\u00a0 I told her to wait until we got to the Headwall to make a final decision.\u00c2\u00a0 But when we got to the Headwall…the wind was blowing and visibility sucked.\u00c2\u00a0 So I was wary of pushing my agenda.\u00c2\u00a0 I LOVE the Headwall.\u00c2\u00a0 It starts off at a certain pitch and then FALLS AWAY!\u00c2\u00a0 But my relationship was more important.\u00c2\u00a0 I told Felice we could ski down to Tea Cup Bowl, where the Host had said there was no wind and Red Zinger was delicious.<\/p>\n
I wanted to drop into Sweet N Sour, and ski down to the Orient Express, but we’ve skied that a number of times and the Host was waxing rhapsodic about Red Zinger, which I’d never skied, so we continued down the catwalk and we…couldn’t find it.<\/p>\n
We’re on this endless catwalk.\u00c2\u00a0 From the very top of Vail to the bottom of the Back Bowls.\u00c2\u00a0 And Felice starts to bitch.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s so fucking COLD!\u00c2\u00a0 Why aren’t I waiting for her!<\/p>\n
After telling her NO BITCHING, that’s for the lodge, at the end of the day, not when you’re miles from nowhere, I suddenly realized it WAS freezing.\u00c2\u00a0 Venturing down to zero.\u00c2\u00a0 My fingers were going numb.\u00c2\u00a0 I had to put on my glove liners.<\/p>\n
Finally, we ended up at the bottom of the aforementioned Orient Express.\u00c2\u00a0 And, as our chair whisked away from the bottom of the hill, not a word was said.\u00c2\u00a0 I thought Felice was giving me the silent treatment, but she said she was so COLD she couldn’t talk.<\/p>\n
I tried to cheer her up.\u00c2\u00a0 Look, over there, in the west, the sun was trying to break through.\u00c2\u00a0 It really wasn’t that cold.\u00c2\u00a0 But my act wasn’t working.\u00c2\u00a0 Felice wanted to go into Two Elk Lodge near the top of the lift and WARM UP!<\/p>\n
And I knew…\u00c2\u00a0 That would be the end of our Back Bowl adventure.\u00c2\u00a0 All I’d have to show for the last half hour was an endless runout and a freezing lift ride.\u00c2\u00a0 I’d never make it to…SIBERIA!<\/p>\n
Okay.\u00c2\u00a0 The original Back Bowls are Sun Up and Sun Down.\u00c2\u00a0 Then they expanded east to Tea Cup.\u00c2\u00a0 And China.\u00c2\u00a0 THEN, they opened up a whole ridge, a whole PLAYGROUND that you can’t even see unless you’re in it.\u00c2\u00a0 Comprised of Siberia, Inner Mongolia and Outer Mongolia Bowls.\u00c2\u00a0 All black.\u00c2\u00a0 All seeming to say on the map DON’T COME HERE UNLESS YOU’RE A LOCAL!<\/p>\n
But it was the only place I’d never been at Vail.\u00c2\u00a0 I had a hankering to go.\u00c2\u00a0 And the grooming report said they’d plowed Bolshoi Ballroom.\u00c2\u00a0 I pleaded, I cajoled, FELICE, I’ve never been there, can’t we go to SIBERIA?<\/p>\n
She told me she couldn’t feel her fingers.\u00c2\u00a0 Nor her toes.\u00c2\u00a0 I felt like a bad boyfriend.\u00c2\u00a0 But I pushed her.\u00c2\u00a0 It was now or never.\u00c2\u00a0 It would be good.\u00c2\u00a0 We’d warm up on the catwalk over there, which required a bit of walking.<\/p>\n
And by time we get off the Orient Express lift, it’s blowing.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s miserable.\u00c2\u00a0 But I push off on the catwalk.\u00c2\u00a0 And Felice follows.<\/p>\n
And then we reach the point of no return.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s a gate.\u00c2\u00a0 We can stay in China Bowl or venture into the UNKNOWN!<\/p>\n
We drop in.<\/p>\n
And are confronted with crusty crud.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s no sign of a groomed slope.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s just a continuing catwalk.\u00c2\u00a0 Which I lead Felice down.\u00c2\u00a0 Not wanting to be next to her, for fear she’ll lay into me.<\/p>\n
Then the catwalk stops.\u00c2\u00a0 And there’s a lift.\u00c2\u00a0 The legendary Mongolia t-bar.\u00c2\u00a0 I ski up to it.\u00c2\u00a0 And ask the attendant.\u00c2\u00a0 How do we get to BOLSHOI BALLROOM?<\/p>\n
Damned if he knew.\u00c2\u00a0 This wasn’t his regular gig.\u00c2\u00a0 He was just filling in.<\/p>\n
So, we could hike back up, and then ski to the end of the catwalk and venture off into the trees.<\/p>\n
That sounded too formidable.\u00c2\u00a0 We were far out of cell range.\u00c2\u00a0 What if Felice froze up and fell.\u00c2\u00a0 What THEN?<\/p>\n
There was no option.\u00c2\u00a0 We had to go UP!<\/p>\n
I saw a catwalk paralleling the t-bar.\u00c2\u00a0 Worst case scenario we could get back to where we started at the base of the lift.<\/p>\n
Now I’m nervous.\u00c2\u00a0 I’ve got no fucking idea where I am.\u00c2\u00a0 I’M cold.\u00c2\u00a0 And I’m dragging Felice along!<\/p>\n
But, with her undying confidence in me, Felice puts the disc at the end of the rope between her legs and starts to go UP!<\/p>\n
Yes, the t-bar is kind of a pomalift.\u00c2\u00a0 Which drags you up to the highest point on the ridge.\u00c2\u00a0 11,455 feet.\u00c2\u00a0 We’re riding SO high that we can now see over Vail Pass to Copper Mountain.\u00c2\u00a0 And as we approach the top, I see…there’s one of those narrow chutes leading down.\u00c2\u00a0 The kind that isn’t THAT hard to navigate.\u00c2\u00a0 But if you’ve never skied between the rocks before, you can get truly freaked out.<\/p>\n
And now we’re off the lift.\u00c2\u00a0 And there’s no map.\u00c2\u00a0 Only the chute and a catwalk heading off into NOWHERE!<\/p>\n
I’m not taking that catwalk.\u00c2\u00a0 Lord only KNOWS where that goes.<\/p>\n
So I drop into the kind of windblown crust you see at the top of the Alps.\u00c2\u00a0 The kind that separates the men from the boys.\u00c2\u00a0 The kind that demands a constant edge as you navigate the bumps, ice and rock.<\/p>\n
And then we get to the point of no return.\u00c2\u00a0 We’re at the catwalk that parallels the t-bar.\u00c2\u00a0 I decide at this point, we’ve got to go down.\u00c2\u00a0 Because where we started from, I was CLUELESS there.<\/p>\n
And we start to ski.<\/p>\n
It’s the kind of frozen crust that has been burnished smooth by hundred mile an hour winds.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s not another soul in sight.\u00c2\u00a0 But it’s SMOOTH!<\/p>\n
Sure, the wind is blowing.\u00c2\u00a0 But you can get an edge.\u00c2\u00a0 I start to carve arcs between the trees.\u00c2\u00a0 I see a sign, this IS Bolshoi Ballroom.\u00c2\u00a0 It was only supposed to be groomed halfway down, but this top part, it’s relatively flat and eminently skiable.<\/p>\n
By me.\u00c2\u00a0 But what about Felice?<\/p>\n
I stop in the blistering wind.\u00c2\u00a0 I look back up the hill.\u00c2\u00a0 Felice is linking turns.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s got no idea that I was freaked out.\u00c2\u00a0 She seems to be running on faith.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s got no anxiety at all.<\/p>\n
And then, after I wait for her, we start off again, and we get into a RHYTHM!\u00c2\u00a0 The wind has died down a bit.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s a bit more snow on the hill.\u00c2\u00a0 This is GOOD!<\/p>\n
And then, the lower we get, with an endless view of the Vail Valley, from Mt. Holy Cross to Beaver Creek and beyond, it starts to occur to me as we’re out here alone in the middle of nowhere, this skiing, it’s FANTASTIC!<\/p>\n
I finally broach the subject with Felice.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s smiling, she’s LOVING IT!<\/p>\n
And now we’re SCREAMING along.\u00c2\u00a0 As the slope gets steeper.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s like being in Courchevel, on top of the world!\u00c2\u00a0 Way down below we can see some ant-like people taking the cat track back to the Orient Express.\u00c2\u00a0 We’re SAFE!\u00c2\u00a0 We’re on our way back to civilization, we can kick back and ENJOY OURSELVES!<\/p>\n
And now it’s packed powder.\u00c2\u00a0 And the hill drops off suddenly.\u00c2\u00a0 Like the Headwall.\u00c2\u00a0 There are no snowboarders criss-crossing the slope, getting in our way.\u00c2\u00a0 We’re way out here in the Colorado Rockies, tearing it up, ALONE!\u00c2\u00a0 We’re in HEAVEN!<\/p>\n
And when we finally got back on the Orient Express, Felice said that was the best run of the day.\u00c2\u00a0 No, maybe the best run of the past THREE days.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe the best run of our TRIP!<\/p>\n
I wanted to convince her to do it again.<\/p>\n
She said she was too frozen.\u00c2\u00a0 But I could go back alone.<\/p>\n
But I didn’t want to separate.<\/p>\n
And when I finally walked into Two Elk Lodge, I felt I couldn’t stand one more minute exposed to the elements.\u00c2\u00a0 Shit, Felice said the only thing that wasn’t frozen on her was her ASS!<\/p>\n
That run made the trip.<\/p>\n
And I’m so proud of Felice.<\/p>\n
The mark of an expert skier is someone who can make it down the hill through any kind of junk snow in any kind of weather.\u00c2\u00a0 It appears she qualifies.<\/p>\n