Actually, it’s amazing I’m here at all.\u00c2\u00a0 You see I had an accident in Mammoth two weeks ago.<\/p>\n
Oh, for a couple of days I felt like a fucking idiot.\u00c2\u00a0 Rule number one of skiing, you QUIT before the day is over.\u00c2\u00a0 But I wasn’t tired.\u00c2\u00a0 But the light was flat.\u00c2\u00a0 But then, telling the details three days later, I realized IT WASN’T MY FAULT!<\/p>\n
If you’ve gone skiing recently, you know they now do crowd control.\u00c2\u00a0 They put up these fences, and you’ve got to slow down and ski through these tiny little entrances.\u00c2\u00a0 And, if the low-pay employees weren’t looking to go home early, I never would have been injured.\u00c2\u00a0 You see, THEY TOOK DOWN THESE FENCES BEFORE THE LIFTS CLOSED!\u00c2\u00a0 And I’m skiing across the hill, all of fifteen feet in front of the base lodge.\u00c2\u00a0 Coming all the way from\u00c2\u00a0 Chair 12 WAY OFF to the side of the mountain.\u00c2\u00a0 And, wanting to go to the Thunder lift, it blowing so hard I didn’t want to go above treeline, I cut UNDERNEATH Chair 1.\u00c2\u00a0 Which NORMALLY is an IMPOSSIBILITY!\u00c2\u00a0 Because there’s no entrance through the fence there!<\/p>\n
And suddenly, WHAM, I was thrown to the snow.\u00c2\u00a0 I did a face plant.\u00c2\u00a0 And my arm broke the fall.\u00c2\u00a0 And I wondered, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?<\/p>\n
I turned around, and saw that my right ski had released.\u00c2\u00a0 I haven’t had a ski release since 1975!\u00c2\u00a0 Bottom line, with the fences in place, these GIGANTIC ruts form.\u00c2\u00a0 With three foot high walls.\u00c2\u00a0 Normally, you just scoot between the fences and RIDE THEM OUT!\u00c2\u00a0 But, with the fences gone, I hit one of these ruts SIDEWAYS!\u00c2\u00a0 Which was like HITTING A BRICK WALL!<\/p>\n
I made one more run, it being like the circus, you’ve got to get back on the horse (did I mix a metaphor there…then again, aren’t there horses in the circus?)\u00c2\u00a0 But, coming down, I realized…my arm hurt.<\/p>\n
After returning to the Mammoth Mountain Inn, I went back to the main lodge, to the first aid center.\u00c2\u00a0 They didn’t think anything was broken, but they wouldn’t GUARANTEE IT!\u00c2\u00a0 Then somebody TRULY injured came in and I took some ice bags and went back to the hotel room, where I JUST COULDN’T GET WARM!\u00c2\u00a0 Kind of like when I broke my leg…\u00c2\u00a0 But, it turned out I had FOOD POISONING!\u00c2\u00a0 From the fucking breakfast at the Inn.<\/p>\n
And the next morning, needless to say, I couldn’t ski, but it was foggy and RAINING!\u00c2\u00a0 And Leo drove us home, and I couldn’t eat a thing, and my forearm didn’t hurt THAT much.\u00c2\u00a0 But later that night, fuck, I had HUGE pain in my shoulder.\u00c2\u00a0 I started to FREAK OUT!\u00c2\u00a0 My friend Stephen told me I’d torn my rotator cuff.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m researching on the Web, trying to diagnose myself.\u00c2\u00a0 I have to cancel a consulting gig, my radio show, I’ve got to pop Vicodin, I’m…really hurt.\u00c2\u00a0 Third most hurt I’ve ever been.\u00c2\u00a0 But, my physical therapist made a HOUSE CALL on Super Bowl Sunday and with that visit and two more last week, she brought me back from the dead.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, I’m not 100%, but I’m here, on this pre-booked trip to Vail.<\/p>\n
What can I say about Vail…<\/p>\n
I think the local had it right on the lift back at Christmas.\u00c2\u00a0 Aspen got the town, Vail got the MOUNTAIN!<\/p>\n
Oh, the town of Vail is ersatz.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a faux Zermatt.\u00c2\u00a0 And, it’s nestled up against the Interstate.\u00c2\u00a0 And, from the bottom you can’t see the top of the mountain, it’s not dramatic.\u00c2\u00a0 And back in the day, when I was just a pup, I was down on Vail, since there was no truly serious skiing.\u00c2\u00a0 But now, at my advanced age, fuck, the skiing is GREAT!<\/p>\n
Because there’s more of it than anywhere else in the United States.<\/p>\n
The Back Bowls are SEVEN MILES WIDE!\u00c2\u00a0 God, at Snowbird the powder lasts one run.\u00c2\u00a0 You can ski crud FOREVER in Vail.<\/p>\n
And now they’ve got Blue Sky Basin.\u00c2\u00a0 Which is SO far away that one of the lifts closes at 2:45, so you can make your way back to the village.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s all backcountry.\u00c2\u00a0 And there IS serious skiing.\u00c2\u00a0 And, I’ve just got to tell you, Vail is ski heaven.<\/p>\n
And Felice’s family’s condo is at the Lodge.\u00c2\u00a0 Which is the closest hostelry to the LIFTS!\u00c2\u00a0 I mean it’s a dream come true.\u00c2\u00a0 We left L.A. last night at 7, and we were in the condo at 11, and that’s WITH an hour time change!\u00c2\u00a0 And, the Eagle airport is not like Aspen, it’s not dangerous and it just about never closes.<\/p>\n
Now if you’ve been following it, Vail is having possibly its best winter ever.\u00c2\u00a0 But, last week it only snowed an inch.\u00c2\u00a0 So today the conditions were hard.\u00c2\u00a0 And the light was gray.\u00c2\u00a0 But, at about 5, it started coming down…<\/p>\n
There are NO lift lines.\u00c2\u00a0 Not even on the dreaded Northwoods chair, where you waited fifteen minutes during the holiday.\u00c2\u00a0 I won’t say it’s like we have the place to ourselves, but except for the snowboarders, it’s HEAVEN!\u00c2\u00a0 (Oh, don’t give me backlash.\u00c2\u00a0 Snowboarders can’t see in one direction and tend to bomb down straight as opposed to turn.\u00c2\u00a0 Thank god the new school skiers are throwing tricks snowboarders could only DREAM of in the pipe these days.\u00c2\u00a0 Skiing is making a comeback!)<\/p>\n
My knee is a bit tweaked from my accident.\u00c2\u00a0 But, at the end of the day we did some bumps on Prima…and I was in the rhythm and it didn’t hurt too bad.<\/p>\n
I finally decided to buy a helmet, but after returning from the condo with my goggles for adjustment, turns out someone STOLE IT!\u00c2\u00a0 And there’s not another black Giro Fuse in XL in VAIL!\u00c2\u00a0 Believe me, I checked.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re supposed to get two in from the warehouse tomorrow at Gorsuch, but I feel like my luck is running out, after the incident two weeks ago.<\/p>\n
So, the story is…\u00c2\u00a0 Skiing is a great release.\u00c2\u00a0 If\u00c2\u00a0 you think about anything else, you fall.\u00c2\u00a0 And it’s one of the few legal thrills.<\/p>\n
Oh, I’ll be back in L.A. to do my radio show on the weekend.\u00c2\u00a0 But till then, tell ’em I’m skiing, skiing USA.<\/p>\n