Speaking about the gulf between rich and poor, I’m driving a $146,425 car.\u00c2\u00a0 BEFORE TAXES!<\/p>\n
I normally drive a pocket rocket, a rice burner.\u00c2\u00a0 I got it for $9500 off.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, who wants a Subaru that says SAAB?\u00c2\u00a0 Yup, under the skin, my car is a Subaru WRX.\u00c2\u00a0 A poor man’s Porsche.<\/p>\n
And why am I poor?<\/p>\n
I’ve been thinking about this.\u00c2\u00a0 Seems to have something to do with my Middlebury education.\u00c2\u00a0 None of my fellow alumni are rich, certainly not my friends.\u00c2\u00a0 Instead, they constantly go on about how POOR THEY ARE!\u00c2\u00a0 Driving cars held together with chewing gum, wearing ratty clothes, as if their almost homeless lifestyles evidence something holier than thou.<\/p>\n
But I alone live in SoCal…\u00c2\u00a0 Where it’s a dash for cash.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, I remember the first day of law school, when some kid said he was in it for the MONEY!\u00c2\u00a0 You might think that on the east coast, but you’d never SAY IT!<\/p>\n
Then again, the money culture has invaded my homeland too.\u00c2\u00a0 With all those bankers raping and pillaging.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, I’m sitting with my chin in my hand trying to figure it all out.\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t want to sell my soul like the rest of the baby boomers did back in the eighties.\u00c2\u00a0 But my shrink, a Harvard man himself, constantly asks me how come I can’t have anything, why I have to approach the world with my pockets turned out, like I don’t count.<\/p>\n
And I don’t want to go Nordstrom and buy the latest fashions.\u00c2\u00a0 Hell, I certainly don’t want to go to the shops on Rodeo.\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t want to be Bob Dylan in his Jerry Weintraub era, dressed in a silk shirt.\u00c2\u00a0 Then again, maybe I have it dialed down too tight. And I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t have a secret desire to be rich.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, not Wall Street rich, just rich enough to be able to ski every day (and write every night!), to not be worried about the bills.\u00c2\u00a0 I believe if I just sit in front of this computer long enough, tap the keys hard enough, eventually the money will flow.\u00c2\u00a0 Right out of the printer.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what I’m waiting for, home cash machines.\u00c2\u00a0 Why do we have to drive to the ATM?<\/p>\n
Not that I’m into get-rich-quick schemes.\u00c2\u00a0 I tried those in the eighties, they don’t pan out, you’ve got to have the personality.\u00c2\u00a0 A take no prisoners there are no obstacles in life if the little people get squashed so be it attitude.\u00c2\u00a0 And I’m all about the little people.<\/p>\n
Then again, too many of the little people take themselves out of the equation.\u00c2\u00a0 Bitch that they don’t have when they don’t try. HARD!\u00c2\u00a0 I believe in a social safety net, everyone should have a roof over his head, food to eat, health care, but not everybody can be rich and famous.\u00c2\u00a0 You’ve got to WORK for that.\u00c2\u00a0 Even those reality TV stars.\u00c2\u00a0 It ain’t easy to get on the tube.\u00c2\u00a0 Then again, they don’t realize that’s just the BEGINNING!\u00c2\u00a0 You’ve got fame, NOW WHAT?<\/p>\n
Rockin’ steady in her daddy’s car <\/span> My daddy never drove a car this nice.\u00c2\u00a0 But when his Mercury blew a valve and he did a favor for someone he got the opportunity to buy a Mercedes for one third off and took the leap.\u00c2\u00a0 And never turned back.\u00c2\u00a0 He always criticized our neighbor for being too into his car, for not allowing anybody else to drive it, but suddenly my dad was the same way.\u00c2\u00a0 And when that machine got totaled, he bought another.\u00c2\u00a0 And another.\u00c2\u00a0 Always slightly used.\u00c2\u00a0 Always top of the line.\u00c2\u00a0 He marveled at the dropping jaws after telling clients he drove a small foreign car.<\/p>\n And I had the same experience on Monday.\u00c2\u00a0 When Fred dropped me off.\u00c2\u00a0 When I told him this was my car, he said "The Blue Honda?"<\/p>\n No, the Audi A8 across the street.\u00c2\u00a0 The low-slung Ferrari-looking machine.\u00c2\u00a0 The racy big brother to the Q5 he was driving.<\/p>\n And Fred’s jaw dropped.<\/p>\n Suddenly, I went from loser to winner.<\/p>\n And that’s what I’ve felt like this whole past week.\u00c2\u00a0 A winner.\u00c2\u00a0 Putting the pedal to the metal as the radio blares and the engine roars and the car fills up with that sweet smell. Purring up Beverly Glen, writhing over Malibu Canyon.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m wringing those 420 horses for all they’re worth.\u00c2\u00a0 Living the California dream. What was I born for?\u00c2\u00a0 My father started off with nothing, bought a liquor store and ended up the best real estate appraiser in the State of Connecticut.\u00c2\u00a0 Doesn’t sound too impressive, but it allowed him to have the income of a doctor or lawyer, go on vacation, drive that aforementioned Mercedes, send three kids to private colleges and graduate schools.<\/p>\n Maybe I grew up too comfortable.<\/p>\n Maybe I went to too good a school.<\/p>\n I’m lost.\u00c2\u00a0 Trying to figure out what I should want, who I should be.<\/p>\n This must be just like livin’ in paradise <\/span> Complaints.\u00c2\u00a0 The car isn’t easy to get out of, it’s like driving on the ground.\u00c2\u00a0 And when you turn the radio knob to the right the pointer goes up, not down.\u00c2\u00a0 And there’s no sunroof.\u00c2\u00a0 In other words…NOTHING!<\/p>\n And before I looked at the Monroney, before I found out the car was $25,000 more than I thought, I was contemplating…\u00c2\u00a0 This is a reasonable goal, enough money to buy a $125,000 car.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that I’d spend that much money on a car.\u00c2\u00a0 But I’d like to be ABLE TO!<\/p>\n Then again, why not?<\/p>\n Unlike a Ferrari, the clutch is easy, the gearbox is smooth, it’s just like driving my Saabaru, except that when I floor it my body is thrown back into the seat and I’m afraid of both the Grim Reaper and the police simultaneously.<\/p>\n And I was telling myself I’m not worthy.<\/p>\n Then my thinking switched.\u00c2\u00a0 They came looking for me.\u00c2\u00a0 Sure, they expect me to write what a great fucking car the A8 is, but they’re not looking for anybody else in my neighborhood, I EARNED IT!<\/p>\n My compensation is funny.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not in cash.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s in travel, concert tickets and restaurant meals.\u00c2\u00a0 My lifestyle is pretty good, but I feel uptight about leaving early, saying I’ve had enough, what if I had my own dough?<\/p>\n Food for thought.<\/p>\n Until then…<\/p>\n If you see some boomer driving around way too fast in a rare, low-slung machine know IT’S ME!<\/p>\n P.S. It goes back tomorrow…\u00c2\u00a0 I’m so PISSED!<\/p>\n
She got the stereo with the big guitars <\/span>
And that’s all right<\/span><\/p>\n
I got the itch and a restless soul <\/span>
She gone with the wind <\/span>
Gonna go for broke tonight, yeah <\/span>
And that’s all night<\/span><\/p>\n
Girl, we’ve been meant for this <\/span>
Since we were born <\/span>
No problems now, the coast is clear <\/span>
It’s just the calm before the storm<\/span><\/p>\n
And I don’t want to go home<\/span><\/p>\n\n