Love comes naturally to some.\u00c2\u00a0 Their sunniness draws the opposite sex to them.\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes even the same sex.\u00c2\u00a0 And they field the approach like Derek Jeter, scooping it up naturally, like there’s absolutely no danger.<\/p>\n
Then there are the rest of us.\u00c2\u00a0 With the same pains in our loins.\u00c2\u00a0 Unrequited.<\/p>\n
But it doesn’t really happen that way.\u00c2\u00a0 We stumble along to our interior monologue.\u00c2\u00a0 Hoping for a partner, but knowing one will not arrive.\u00c2\u00a0 Until…<\/p>\n
The interaction.<\/p>\n
It’s not premeditated.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s always by chance.\u00c2\u00a0 When\u00c2\u00a0 you’re natural, unselfconscious, just going about your business, you meet someone.\u00c2\u00a0 Not that you’d call it that at first.\u00c2\u00a0 At first it’s just a conversation.<\/p>\n
But suddenly you realize the other person is listening.\u00c2\u00a0 Attentively.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re unable to be distracted.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re laughing at your jokes.\u00c2\u00a0 Making no effort to leave. You get that inner glow of humanness.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, THIS is how it’s supposed to be.<\/p>\n
Maybe the conversation leads to dinner.\u00c2\u00a0 Not on a different date, but the same date.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re there for a meal at a friend’s house.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re at a convention.<\/p>\n
And when everybody gets up to leave, you do not.\u00c2\u00a0 And he or she doesn’t either.\u00c2\u00a0 You’re on top of the world.<\/p>\n
Then…<\/p>\n
Do you write, do you call?\u00c2\u00a0 Are you aggressive, are you passive?\u00c2\u00a0 How do you play it?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s all so new to you.\u00c2\u00a0 Or you’ve been here before, but never been able to figure it out.<\/p>\n
You’ve learned not to be so direct.\u00c2\u00a0 It just doesn’t work.\u00c2\u00a0 It doesn’t come across as confident, but desperate.\u00c2\u00a0 Your friends tell you to never show your hand, certainly not this early.\u00c2\u00a0 But this is what you want.\u00c2\u00a0 You know it.<\/p>\n
You eventually make contact.\u00c2\u00a0 But the response is cryptic.\u00c2\u00a0 There’s always a response, but it isn’t quite early enough, not quite enthusiastic enough…do they feel the same way you do?<\/p>\n
That’s the next phase.\u00c2\u00a0 Debating what happened in your head.\u00c2\u00a0 Did you distort it?\u00c2\u00a0 Or was it truly magic.\u00c2\u00a0 Was it magic for them?<\/p>\n
Then comes the dreaded period of anxiety.\u00c2\u00a0 When you’re desirous of running into them, but praying you don’t.\u00c2\u00a0 Because what will you say?\u00c2\u00a0 How will you act? They’re your future husband or wife, you’ve envisioned spending the rest of your life with them.\u00c2\u00a0 Can’t you just go up and give them a hug and a kiss?<\/p>\n
No, you must act like you don’t even know they’re there.\u00c2\u00a0 You must wait for them to find you.\u00c2\u00a0 You end up with a desire to run.<\/p>\n
Or maybe you make a move.\u00c2\u00a0 And the conversation is good.\u00c2\u00a0 But something is missing.<\/p>\n
Or you keep running into them and the conversation is good, you’re elated, but it stops there.<\/p>\n
You’re tortured.\u00c2\u00a0 Your friends are sick of hearing the story.<\/p>\n
Then, ambling around in your depression, drearily going through the motions of your everyday life, you have the encounter.<\/p>\n
Sometimes it’s not even them.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a conversation.\u00c2\u00a0 Which at first seems innocuous.\u00c2\u00a0 Then you hear their name spoken and get butterflies.\u00c2\u00a0 You start to perspire. And suddenly you learn…<\/p>\n
They’ve got someone else.<\/p>\n
The lights at the carnival go out.\u00c2\u00a0 But you’re on an endless slide.\u00c2\u00a0 Down down down to the bottom.<\/p>\n
Sometimes it’s even worse.\u00c2\u00a0 You bump into the two of them.\u00c2\u00a0 And have to act all friendly, put on a happy face.<\/p>\n
You eventually get over it.\u00c2\u00a0 Could take years.\u00c2\u00a0 Oftentimes with ongoing encounters wherein you have to be cheery on the outside while inside you repeat the mantra this is not magic, this is not magic.<\/p>\n
And you vow to get game.\u00c2\u00a0 You vow not to fall into the trap again.\u00c2\u00a0 You vow to take control.<\/p>\n
But you never do.\u00c2\u00a0 You watch television.\u00c2\u00a0 Go to the movies.\u00c2\u00a0 And wait…<\/p>\n
For another serendipitous encounter.\u00c2\u00a0 When the game begins again. <\/p>\n
\n