(Note: There are some spoiling elements in the following diatribe.\u00c2\u00a0 So, if you want to see "The Squid and the Whale" fresh, you might not want to read the ensuing.)<\/p>\n
I’ve never been cheated on.\u00c2\u00a0 To my knowledge.<\/p>\n
Do you ever really know?\u00c2\u00a0 Till years later?\u00c2\u00a0 You confront people just before they move out, when the decision has been made.\u00c2\u00a0 But are their denials honest or do they just want to stop the hurt?<\/p>\n
My parents fought.\u00c2\u00a0 Sometimes vociferously.\u00c2\u00a0 I remember being upstairs in our split-level discussing with Jill whether they were going to get divorced.\u00c2\u00a0 They never did.\u00c2\u00a0 They stayed together.\u00c2\u00a0 Al got a divorce and stayed in town.\u00c2\u00a0 Irv got divorced too.\u00c2\u00a0 But his wife moved away.\u00c2\u00a0 We lived in a town where everybody stayed together, where divorce still had a stigma.<\/p>\n
Maybe that’s why my own divorce hurts so much.\u00c2\u00a0 Somehow I didn’t live up to the standard, I failed.\u00c2\u00a0 After getting the A’s in school, after doing well enough on the SAT’s to go to Middlebury, after passing the California Bar exam, somehow I couldn’t will this one right.<\/p>\n
It takes two.\u00c2\u00a0 My ex-wife’s parents had untied the knot.\u00c2\u00a0 Divorce was an option for her.\u00c2\u00a0 A way out.\u00c2\u00a0 I never give up.\u00c2\u00a0 But I had to give up on that marriage.\u00c2\u00a0 I had no choice.\u00c2\u00a0 It wasn’t my decision.<\/p>\n
I never go to the movies anymore.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s inconvenient.\u00c2\u00a0 Not only do I have to drive there and park, they don’t start when I want them to.\u00c2\u00a0 In a world where I can have a phone conversation on the run, where I can check my e-mail on a hand-held device, to have to go somewhere at an appointed hour to see a film seems ridiculous.<\/p>\n
But I used to go every night.\u00c2\u00a0 It was an addiction.\u00c2\u00a0 Back when the studios only made 125 pictures a year, back when people aspired to be film directors, to make a statement.<\/p>\n
Statements are passe.\u00c2\u00a0 Unless they’re bank statements.\u00c2\u00a0 Somehow the studios have decided their audience is the world, and have blanded out the product to make it palatable in every nook and cranny of the globe.\u00c2\u00a0 I don’t like what my next door neighbor does, do you think my film choices have much to do with those of someone in the Middle East?\u00c2\u00a0 And to justify the price, to justify people leaving their houses, studios believe films must do something TV does not.\u00c2\u00a0 Feature explosions and special effects that can’t be afforded on HBO, never mind network.\u00c2\u00a0 But it’s not about the penumbra, it always has been and always will be about story.<\/p>\n
Maybe those in charge of film production don’t want to confront their own lives.\u00c2\u00a0 Don’t want to make flicks that reveal their hollow lifestyles.\u00c2\u00a0 With the plastic surgery and abuses and excesses.\u00c2\u00a0 But they used to.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s why we used to go.\u00c2\u00a0 To see a reflection of ourselves, to get insight.<\/p>\n
They say that the seventies were the last great film epoch.<\/p>\n
"The Squid and the Whale" is a seventies film.<\/p>\n
What’s astounding is there’s no hero.\u00c2\u00a0 Everyone’s flawed.\u00c2\u00a0 They’re just putting one foot in front of the other.\u00c2\u00a0 Trying to get through.\u00c2\u00a0 Like us.<\/p>\n
Oh, I had to get out of the house.\u00c2\u00a0 I toyed with seeing "King Kong".\u00c2\u00a0 After all, Peter Jackson is considered a master.\u00c2\u00a0 And, if I saw it I’d have something to talk about at parties.\u00c2\u00a0 But I knew from the buzz it just wasn’t good enough.\u00c2\u00a0 And that’s a disappointment.\u00c2\u00a0 Like the work of the singer-songwriters of today.\u00c2\u00a0 Sarah McLachlan couldn’t hold the shoes of Joni Mitchell.\u00c2\u00a0 And I want to see "Brokeback Mountain", but Felice went to a screening, and I didn’t want to hassle Century City or pay ten bucks to see it at the inadequate NuWilshire, where the seats are at an angle and the sound is worse than an MP3.<\/p>\n
Still, someone must have the DVD of "Squid and the Whale".\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not like I had to see it for the production values.\u00c2\u00a0 But I ventured out.\u00c2\u00a0 To the Westside Pavilion.\u00c2\u00a0 And caught the flick.<\/p>\n
"The Squid and the Whale" is disturbing.\u00c2\u00a0 Because it rings too familiar.\u00c2\u00a0 If you’re my age and you’ve never endured a breakup, never mind a divorce, you married the first person you dated or are a neuter.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s so painful.\u00c2\u00a0 You WERE close.\u00c2\u00a0 But no longer.\u00c2\u00a0 What they loved about you, they now hate.\u00c2\u00a0 You can’t get it back together.<\/p>\n
Oh, there’s the unspoken hatred.\u00c2\u00a0 Jeff Daniels hitting tennis balls at his wife.<\/p>\n
But then there’s the betrayal.\u00c2\u00a0 She’s been stepping out on him for years.\u00c2\u00a0 She used to adore him, but now she’s done with him.\u00c2\u00a0 Ever been involved in a relationship where the other person is done with you?\u00c2\u00a0 It’s a HORRIBLE feeling.\u00c2\u00a0 Worse than a blind date.\u00c2\u00a0 You feel powerless and rejected.<\/p>\n
But Jeff Daniels is a pompous bore.\u00c2\u00a0 Spewing the intellectualism of the people I went to college with.\u00c2\u00a0 Did you know that if you watch TV you’re a philistine?\u00c2\u00a0 That’s what my old schoolmates believe.\u00c2\u00a0 Yes, they paint the world with that broad a stroke.\u00c2\u00a0 I’m one of them.\u00c2\u00a0 To see part of myself on screen hurts.<\/p>\n
And Laura Linney is the kind of woman men envision.\u00c2\u00a0 Attractive who will sleep with you.\u00c2\u00a0 But do you want someone who employs seemingly little discrimination?\u00c2\u00a0 And who HASN’T lamented their ex has stepped down from themselves?\u00c2\u00a0 And why did she have to sleep with Frank’s tennis teacher?\u00c2\u00a0 Reminds me of the people who have affairs with the next door neighbor.\u00c2\u00a0 Couldn’t they at least find someone new, someone DIFFERENT?<\/p>\n
And the kids are reeling.\u00c2\u00a0 Walt accuses Laura Linney of not trying hard enough, of breaking up a perfectly good family.\u00c2\u00a0 Frank experiments with alcohol, even though he has no pubic hair.\u00c2\u00a0 Oh, might sound fantastical in print, but it’s believable on screen.\u00c2\u00a0 Suddenly, your safe world is ripped apart.\u00c2\u00a0 Suddenly nothing makes sense.\u00c2\u00a0 Suddenly, you feel you’re all alone.<\/p>\n
We want to be together.<\/p>\n
But it’s hard to stay together.\u00c2\u00a0 Society tells you to trade what you’ve got for what’s behind the curtain.\u00c2\u00a0 For something better.<\/p>\n
But what is better?<\/p>\n
Unlike a typical Hollywood film, "The Squid and the Whale" provides no answers.\u00c2\u00a0 Because there are no answers in life.\u00c2\u00a0 Just ongoing episodes, that you try to make sense of, refining your theories along the way.<\/p>\n
Jeff Daniels might be nominated for an Academy Award.\u00c2\u00a0 Unlikable though his character might be.\u00c2\u00a0 But "The Squid and the Whale" is never going to gross $100 million.\u00c2\u00a0 Even after all the DVD and cable revenue is counted.\u00c2\u00a0 Still, it’s the paradigm of the future.\u00c2\u00a0 Making personal stories, in this case, the life of the filmmaker, Noah Baumbach, that resonate with a group.<\/p>\n
Call it gold, not platinum, or multiplatinum.\u00c2\u00a0 The Internet has broadened the horizon.\u00c2\u00a0 Everybody’s getting something tailored for them.<\/p>\n
I don’t know if you want to see "The Squid and the Whale".\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not for winners.\u00c2\u00a0 But, hate to tell you, we’re all losers.<\/p>\n
Most people don’t want to look inside.\u00c2\u00a0 They want to believe they’re all right.\u00c2\u00a0 They’d crack if their world view was questioned.<\/p>\n
But questioning is living.\u00c2\u00a0 Change is inevitable.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s not about stasis, but riding the pony, as it goes in unpredictable directions, as you encounter new and different landscapes you couldn’t even contemplate only moments before.<\/p>\n
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(Note: There are some spoiling elements in the following diatribe.\u00c2\u00a0 So, if you want to see "The Squid and the Whale" fresh, you might not want to read the ensuing.) I’ve never been cheated on.\u00c2\u00a0 To my knowledge. Do you ever really know?\u00c2\u00a0 Till years later?\u00c2\u00a0 You confront people just before they move out, when […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p96vPs-4n","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=271"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lefsetz.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}